Who I Am My Family? Essay

Now throughout my life, being the oldest son, and brother I have always felt that I needed to set the example for the rest of my family. I’ve felt that I needed to be the pillar of strength to carry my family, my parents always made me believe that if I was strong then everyone else around me would benefit. Emotionally as a child I felt shut off from the world because I would be struck/scowled for crying, or even if I’d show the slightest bit of what my parent’s called “overconfidence”, which is basically any type of trying to feel good about my accomplishments in any form. But of course I was always expected to perform at the peak and be above everyone. For this type of upbringing I was “isolated” from the rest of my peers, emotionally detached, and felt as if I was an unwanted enigma. As it says in “Mirrorings” on page 729, “I felt that I was the only one walking about in the world who understood what was really important.”

Family! Family! Family! Family can be a wonderful thing. It can be healthy or unhealthy. It can be functional or dysfunctional. Family means different things to different people. Some families are loving and close. Some families are mean, hateful, and distant. There are different types of relationships within a family unit. Relationships can be enmeshed, detached, or disengaged; these types of relationships are unhealthy. The family system can be open and homeostatic; these kinds of relationship are healthy. We are all born into different families with different situations. Sometimes life can be hard, with all of its facets and difficulties, and ups and downs. Looking at the past of one 's life can be a happy event for some, but for others, it can be tormenting to have to reminisce about the past.

Growing up was awesome in my household even though my family and I would do extravagant activities. I was automatically a American citizen when I was born because my father is retired from the US Navy. When I was about three years old, we all moved to the United States of American. The first state that we lived was San Diego, California. We spent almost fours year in California before moving to La Porte, Indiana. It was easier for me to adapt and make friends in California because a lot of the people in that state are diverse in ethnicity. Also the Filipinos has a high living population in California, especially in San Diego. Most of my friends when I lived in California were my classmates in Mason Elementary School. It was not rare for me to find Filipinos in San Diego but, when I moved to Indiana it felt like a surprise when I encounter a Filipino here in Indiana. The only real friend that I had in California were my cousins. We would always come to each others homes every day. Most of the times we were together we would spend most of the time playing outdoor activities. One of our favorite outdoor activity is playing basketball or baseball.

Does anybody ever wonder how people survive in dysfunctional families or what they experience? In a dysfunctional family, the family members fail to function in a healthy way. For instance, a woman named Cathey Brown experienced the dynamic of a dysfunctional family. She learned to pretend everything was “great” even though most weekends she avoided her drunken father and tried not to notice her mother’s business. Cathey, at a young age, had to learn how to create her own reality because no one confronted the harsh realities of alcoholism and domestic violence. Unlike Melinda Sordino and her parents, who they talk by using notes with each other and when she was having bad grades. Not only do they bicker with each other when they converse, but

I cannot say that growing up in the family I am in hasn't been difficult for me, because it has. However, to say that it is something I'd like to change if I could, I also cannot say. The turbulence and commotion I have experienced has sculpted my character. Had I not grown up the way I did, I would not be as tenacious and ambitious as I am today. Through the struggles I've faced and whom I've faced them with, I have not let them define me, and I have even grown more because of them.

Over the years, I have become conscious of the manner in which I speak and behave when connecting with my peers and others. My parents especially have offered wonderful instruction, and extended much-needed assistance as I began to comprehend the influence my actions had on others. I consider my family to be wonderfully tight-knit. I have both of my parents and two older brothers. My brothers both progressed on and out of our childhood home. Although they no longer live with my parents and me, the love and support my family still shares- from hundreds of miles apart- is genuinely unreal. The Goins clan might not all live under one roof anymore, but it certainly feels like when we did. The extent of inspiration my parents offer each of us kids

Most families are complicated but supportive. For example, a family could argue a lot, but still love one another. In Alice Walker’s “Everyday Use” mama still supports her daughters even though, they’re not around much. Their issues are not unique because my family has its issues, too. The family in “Everyday Use” and my family both have similarities and differences regarding siblings, bonds, and mothers.

Much of this info is gathered from my dad’s memories. From my generation to present, there is a much richer detail provided. I am unable to express adequately in the diagram the level to which my own father was fused with his family of origin. He was the only sibling who ever lived out of town. We returned home for all holidays and vacations. Once here, my parents would argue over how much time we would spend with each family of origin, as my mother was equally fused with her own family. If you will note, there is at least one person (from my generation on) who other family members focus on. My families theme could be, “there is nothing wrong with me.” “I’d be happy if (fill in the blank) would straighten up.” My parents were unhappily married and hyper focused on the three of us to the complete detriment of their own marriage. Simultaneously, my mother’s mental health deteriorated. Everyone’s anxiety at this time was focused on my mother. In both of my sister’s families there is at least one individual everyone is focused on. Had I done this genogram three to four years ago, my children’s focus would have been on me. Ten years before that, their dad. Also clear on the genogram, in my own little family, we were cut off from my ex-husband for a time. That relationship has been repaired as I have learned to focus on my own reactions and leave his to him to solve. This relationship, as well as

The few times we did get to spend time together as a family, it wouldn’t feel like it. I knew all the relationships between my family members. I was the one who they told everything to but ask me not to tell anyone. This was a lot of weight on my shoulders because I began caring for everyone else’s relationships; especially my mom’s because my brother and sister would argue

I grew up in a loving household, in East Los Angeles, California. At that time, my parents owned a small fruit produce business in South Los Angeles. They spent most of their time outside of home ensuring that everything went well. I remember feeling sad that my family did not have the privilege to spend more time together like other family’s did. Nonetheless, I understood that dad and mom could not play and/or travel with me and my siblings because they were busy making ends meet. Although we aspired for more family time, we learned to put our needs aside and to take care of one another. Part of taking care of one another meant keeping certain information/issues to ourselves. Thus, me and my family learned to deal with our own problems because we feared causing any type of anxiety, anger, fear, etc. to family members. As a result, we did not create a safe space where family members shared stressful issues that they were dealing with outside of home.

You can never judge a book by it's cover, sometimes that book may be pretty on the outside but it could be broken on the inside like a mirror that was dropped with pieces that could not be put back together. I come from a family where we were once a “Family” but we let differences brake us. At this point in my life I was eleven years old learning to be independent,learning how to handle school on my own, not letting others define me as a person or who i was going to become. Again I was only eleven, a lot of eleven year olds i know today didn't do the things I did as a kid. Now there was a time in my life where i played with barbies and had a favorite blanket that i could not let go of. Every family goes through things there is no such thing as perfect.

My family used to be really easy to explain. I had one mom, one dad, and one brother. As I got older of course my life has taken some turns complicating the family tree for me. These changes have allowed me to see how the interpersonal relationship continuum works. More than that I’ve been able to see firsthand how it classifies and works relative to personal relationships. My parents divorced at the beginning of my high school career. During this time it was no doubt hard, because my parents were tied up in court it felt like they couldn’t be there for my brother and me. This caused me to seek the attention elsewhere.

My family has always been very close. We spend a great deal of time together and express our deep feelings and emotions with one another. If one of us has an issue, every member of the family is aware of it and shares the burden. When a person in the family does not share significant information about one’s life with the rest of the members, there is hurt feelings. Also, if a member cannot attend a family event, the family feels disappointed and misses the absent member. It is evident that connectedness is held as extremely valuable.

My own personal experience plays a part here as I don’t believe my family was ever “fully actualized.” Independence and autonomy was stressed, however, warmth and connectedness between members was not. Feelings were definitely suppressed in my household growing up, and even today sharing openly feels awkward. Whitaker, as well as Satir, has inspired my theoretical framework because I see the importance of the affective or emotional layer of family interactions.

No one can’t meet a family like mine’s. My family is well diversified. Every family member plays an important role in all my family’s lives. In my family, there are four people: my father, my mother, my little brother and me. My father is one who brings money home and is also responsible for organizing and planning family trips. My mother is the one who is in charge for making meals and makes sure everyone eats at the appropriate times. My little brother is the pet of the family. He actually doesn’t have any responsibilities, for he’s the pet. I am the rock of support in my family. I always go beyond my parents’ expectations. I also support my younger cousins and little brother, by being a role model that they can look up to. Another