How to be an Introvert: A guide to extroverts
Everybody’s seen those self-help books that advertise they guard the secret to socializing, for example “How to Talk to People” and “Overcome Social Anxiety and Shyness”. Both of which stock the shelves of amazon, but where is the guide on how to be an introvert? Who wants a guide on how to shut up? Just close your mouth! Obviously though, you read the title, so you probably expect an explanation a little more lengthy than that, so here is a gift for you: your own personal guide to being an introvert. Society often stereotypes introverts as hermits who live in a shack and leave grocery money by the curb so they don’t have to interact with the Schwan’s deliveryman. No, an introvert simply draws their energy from being alone, unlike the extrovert who feels energized after socializing with other people.
First things first, cancel your Friday night plans. Introverts value quiet and reflective time. You can curl up with, I know it sounds crazy, a book, or contort yourself into a position that would make your chiropractor faint in order to watch Netflix on your computer. On particularly stressful days, when social interactions crop up more frequently than Whack-A-Moles, some time by yourself allows you to recharge. You can dwell on important thoughts, such as What is the meaning of the universe? Or Do I have overly sensitive armpits? What medical standard do I compare my armpits to? Is it socially acceptable to ask
Me being an introvert as well, I can relate, where the absence of confidence has stuck. It seems to be really hard for me to openly share my opinions and my assessments to most topics. "Simon turned away from them and went the just perceptible path led him... Holding his breath he cocked a critical ear at the sounds of the island." (Golding 57) When wanting to be alone, Simon heads to a secret place to take in the silence. When I get frustrated or need calming down, I too find a quiet safe place for me where I feel comfortable to let out all the negative energy. While being in this mind set, there is a great deal of thinking and feeling happening.
When people hear the word introvert, they usually think of someone who is quiet, shy and keeps to themselves. The word introvert generally has a negative connotation associated with it, but Susan Cain argues in a Ted talk called “The power of introverts” that being an introvert is actually a good thing. In her argument, Cain uses ethos, logos, and pathos to appeal to her audience and this essay will analyze how she does so.
There are people who on the outside are not sociable, because these people are shy. However, there is a difference between shyness and introversion. Shy people often avoid many things because they are nervous or they criticize themselves for speaking up. Introverts, however, will not be nervous or criticize themselves. Both shyness and being introverted are acceptable traits. It only becomes a problem when a person has a social anxiety disorder that significantly interferes with a person’s life. We want and need people to be the quiet thinkers who can go off by themselves come up with an idea and bring it back to a
Susan Cain’s novel Quiet discusses the undervalued power of introverts in a world full of extroverts. Cain officially began working on Quiet in 2005, and has been consulting introverts, beginning with herself, for years before that. As an introverted lawyer Cain struggled at the beginning of her career, until she realized the power introverts have. While extroverts get excited and arguments get heated quickly, introverts can keep calm and cool and assess the situation and think through what they say and do. After realizing the potential of introverts Cain began consulting to help other introverts that were struggling with their career or personal lives. This book came about as a way to put all of her learning and research together to help reach other introverts that feel or felt like they have little to no power in this world of extroverts.
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking In Quiet, Susan Cain (2013) argues that we undervalue introverts, and therefore she attempts to show us how much we lose by doing so. She describes the rise of the extrovert culture in the 21st century and explains how deeply it has influenced our culture. Additionally, she introduces an example of successful introverts from a high figure who recharges in loneliness after his talks then to a record-breaking sales associate who taps into the questioning power. Passionately argued and well researched, Quiet attempts to permanently change our perspectives towards introverts, and most importantly, make introverts change how they see themselves.
“Introverts can often be very deep and very thoughtful. Even if they are quiet, they can have a lot to contribute,” explained Alcee. “In this day and age where we are all on our phones, back and forth, introverts know how to look inwards and connect. That’s something we are sort of losing as a culture and introverts do that instinctively. For millennials and this generation, that’s an important virtue and skill.”
Cain ends the subsection of the novel with this excerpt. She claims that introverts have other ways to express themselves besides converting to a “closet introvert.” I agree with the authors statement, however, we should take into consideration that our world is based on the extroverted ideal. The more you communicate, engage in conversations and become comfortable with conflict reflects an ideal self. Therefore, introverts don’t feel the need to find other ways to succeed but rather accept the fact that extroversion is the best way of life. Recently, I’ve been overwhelmed with schoolwork and responsibilities that my anxiety has been affecting my daily life more than usual, both academically and socially. I often lose myself during these circumstances
My test results from the Myers-Briggs Indicator have articulated my time management skills, study skills, and communication skills. Even though I have characteristic traits from all of the extraverts and introverts, sensing and intuition, thinking and feeling, judging and perceiving categories, the course has been helpful in improving my above mentioned skills.
In our attempts to convert to a more extroverted society, the introvert has been all but erased, the only remnants a gross misrepresentation. Introverts are encouraged to display extroverted characteristics and conform. In other words, all the positive markers of the introvert have been erased. As an introvert thrown into an alternating ideal after living in Asia, this presented as a massive culture shock. Qualities that were encouraged were then hunted down and eradicated. Living in any sort of world that requires conformity is challenging, but the contrast between cultures make the difference all the more
I’m very introverted, I enjoy keeping to myself and doing my own thing. I prefer to stay out of harm’s way by remaining distant from most people. Don’t get me wrong, once you get to know me you’ll realized I’m a softie with a big heart. I adore my friends and love socializing but there comes a time where I need
Since kindergarden, I have thought my personality. I forced myself out of my comfort zone time and time again by trying to talk to people and joining in conversations I had no interest in or things that I was not knowledgeable about. However, these efforts quickly proved of no help to me, all it did was drain me of energy and left me confused about myself and my personality. My peers still called me quiet and also shy some even referencing my apparent aversion to socializing. As I am beginning my senior year of high school, I started to consider introversion and how it is perceived and treated by society. Eventually, I these “myths” that are perceived by society that extroverts and ambiverts (those with characteristics of both introverts and
Introversion is defined as a preference and they prefer a rich inner life to a vast social life, talking with a close friend to sharing stories in a group, developing their ideas internally to interactively. They could not think spontaneously but they are good thinkers when they are still and unmoving. They prefer to follow an inner guide. The time that they feel invasion, they automatically turn off to protect their central sources. At this time they could not access themselves, and they may feel that they have to practice extroversion, go underground, or go crazy( Helgoe 2008).
As an introvert I like to share my time with few friends or even one person versus tens or hundreds of friends. I love having peaceful and quiet time to myself. I look forward to it being that I have to work with people daily. I believe that I am approachable and easily engaged by friends, co-workers and strangers. However, I don’t dominate the conversations. I am an active listener, giving complete attention to what others say. This is important in the workplace. As an office manager at a Condominium property, it is extremely important to have active listening skills since majority of interpersonal interactions revolve around resident complaints, requests, inquiries or suggestions. Sometimes, others take my reserved and introverted personality for weakness. Partially, I consider my introverted-ness to be a weakness because I have a tendency to isolate myself more than I desire to engage in socializing. Being that I don’t have a problem being vocal about my opinions, thoughts or knowledge it can be a deterring defense mechanism to ostracize others. This is counterproductive at times in the workplace. It only serves me when I am sensing that someone is trying to start
An introvert is a person that gathers their energy from within and requires time alone and would prefer to communicate by ways such as email and by writing and maybe texting they seem to prefer not to talk face to face and are not great public speakers. Introverts are often said to be reserved. They are often said to enjoy the quiet and this is what
According to many psychologists and other social experts, there exist two major social behaviors that are widely adopted globally by a person as they mature into young adulthood: extraversion or introversion. Extroverts are expressive individuals who appear to be energized and enjoy seeking activities that involve socialization with others where as a reserved individual (introvert) prefers solitary pursuits where he or she often partakes in a favorite pastime. In her novel Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength, Laurie Helgoe statistically explores the fact that more than one half of the American populace claims to be reticent and encourages those folks to embrace their natural selves (“Book Details” 1). Introverts