Why I Am A Friend

Joan D. Vinge once said, “We are all born with a unique genetic blueprint, which lays out the basic characteristics of our personality as well as our physical health and appearance... And yet, we all know that life experiences do change us.” In the short story, “Initiation,” by Sylvia Plath, Millicent, a teenage girl whom is being initiated into a high school sorority must go five days doing what their sorority big sister commands them to do. While being initiated, Millicent starts to realize that while being part of a group that she’s been longing to be apart of is great, being an individual and creating yourself makes you more unique than those who are part of a group. Having individuality allows you to be more free, and makes you more memorable to those around you.

In Initiation by Sylvia Plath, the author suggests that conformity and having friends is a wonderful idea, yet the idea of having an individual identity and being an individual is stronger. In the excerpt, Millicent is slowly realizing that conforming and being a part of a sorority is not as exciting as it sounds, and being an individual offers more opportunities to become a unique person.

Almost everyone in the world feels a need to belong. When searching for one’s own identity, the questions of where power lies and who disperses it derive. The choices to separate, conform and individualize play the most significant role in identity because those choices refer individuals to the people they associate with. Deirdre N. McCloskey’s “Yes, Ma’am” and Alice Walker’s “Beauty: When the Other Dancer is the Self” relate in finding an identity and self-accepting oneself.

Over one hundred years ago, transcendentalist poet Ralph Waldo Emerson declared, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Throughout time his message remains applicable as society attempts to conform everyone to its standards. The secular population tends to wrestle with the idea of individualism, like Emerson, alongside the idea of amounting to society’s uniform expectations. Today’s society sends out mixed messages; one encourages each person to embrace their uniqueness, and another message promotes the similarities between everyone. By establishing conflicting viewpoints, many people struggle to find an identity. Mary Oliver’s poem, “The Journey,” explores the inner

Even though it is a struggle, being yourself is the best thing that you can be. When trying to be yourself, it is common to face obstacles and hardships that can get in the way of achieving your goals. The character Squeaky from “Raymond’s Run”, by Toni Cade Bambara, faces obstacles and hardships, but in the end she learns that people should not expect her to be someone she is not. She learns to be herself, and no one else. The song, “She Used to Be Mine” by Sara Bareilles is all about being yourself. It deals with obstacles like facing your fears, and the idea that nobody is perfect. The story “Raymond’s Run”, explains how Squeaky, the main character, does not feel accepted by anyone. Her mother expects her to be a “typical girl”, and her

Due to my environment, as an adolescent I longed for acceptance in a society where I didn’t feel free. I used my mental capacity to place me in

The consequences of excessive desire to be someone else, a recurring theme I evaluated from an accumulation of texts ‘All the bright places’ written by Jennifer Niven, ‘The Talented Mr Ripley’ directed by Anthony Minghella, Gattaca directed by Andrew Niccol and Catch me if you can directed by Steven Spielberg. To examine this theme in detail to further an understanding of how the same theme can be expressed in a number of ways, I used three questions to help develop a conclusion-, has society alienated the protagonist and if so how, how does the characters struggle with their identity , also what consequences this desire has caused.

When I was younger I wanted to belong. I wanted to belong to a group of girls who were considered as ‘cool’. I wanted to be as pretty as them and wanted to have the same nice clothes they had. Back then I considered myself as ugly and unlovable. Being beautiful or at least good looking meant to me that I could be happier and more successful in life. However, I realised that I would never be able to be someone else.

One’s identity is the most important lesson to be learned. It is vital part of life knowing who you are in order to live a fulfilled life. Without knowing your identity, and the way you perceive life, it is difficult for others to understand you, along with a struggle to live a happy life. In Sylvia Plath’s “The Bell Jar,” Esther Greenwood struggles to find her own identity, and in the process, she develops a mental illness which helps her discover the person she is on the inside.

For a short period of time, I didn’t even recognize who I was. I was acting out in ways I did not enjoy, dressed in styles I didn’t agree with, and created a personality that I thought would make me more popular. I tried so hard to be the superficial person people wanted me to be, because I valued their opinions more than my own. One of the best decisions I ever made for myself was when I made a new group of friends. I was able to act and look like my true self and they accepted me for me.

The majorities of humans are shaped for the better through early life and are therefore refined through society to find a place within the community. However there are cases where the early life influences are absent and aren’t able to give the crucial acceptance from an early age. This leads to abandonment issues that make it exceedingly difficult to find a place within society. In Louis Nowra’s “Member of the wedding” we are shown a prominent example of the detrimental effects of not being accepted. The protagonist Frankie had a mother that passed away and has a workaholic father who spends little to no time with at home leaving her with no sense of acceptance and struggling in finding who she is. She doesn’t connect with the world outside and due to her inner conflict she creates a new “me” in attempt to “connect”. F. Jasmine, her new persona, is her attempt of proving she no longer needs to acceptance at home as she can be accepted in the adult

being encouraged to pluck out some one aspect of myself and present this as the meaningful whole, eclipsing or denying the other parts of self. But this is a destructive and fragmenting way to live” (120).

Supporting individuality is important to many people in today’s society. However, if done wrong, telling people to be themselves can have the opposite effect on a person’s actions. Sadly, Robert Lopshire’s I Want to Be Somebody New! falls into this trap.

A quote by the author that highlights this idea of not being able to be who you are is, “I wanted to be a princess and a prince; but I would never have said so, then”. This emphasizes the underlying fear many have of being judged by the outside world. It is very unfortunate that so many are still unable to say the things they wish to say and dress the way they want to dress because society perceives it to be unacceptable or wrong.

Numerous time I have “remodeled” my personality for others, all the while trying to be everyone’s everything. More often than not this led to disappointment and discouragement when I was rejected by the very individuals I wished to please. I am still covered in packaging, but personal freedom is real to me. Pieces of my personality shine through gaps in the paper. I have found people develop concepts of me, and no matter what I do they will always be there. I’ve come to accept and use these to identify myself. And if you conceptualize me, your perception will transform me into anyone you want. At the other end of the spectrum lies the complete chameleon: individuals anticipating the next request from their most popular patron. The personalities which are requested become companions. Lost in the abyss of packaging cultivated over they years, complex chameleons struggle for personal freedom. Genuiness doesn’t exist in such a