Why I Believe in Attachment Parenting Essays

When a person becomes a parent, their role in life undoubtedly changes. The person must become a teacher, a guide, and a helping hand in the life of the child. Research has shown that there is a distinct connection between how a child is raised and their overall developmental outcome. John Bowlby’s attachment theory emphasizes the importance of the regular and sustained contact between the parent-infant or parent-child relationship (Travis & Waul 2003). Yet, what happens when the only physical contact a child can share with their parent is a hand pressed on the shield of glass that separates the two? What happens when the last memory of their mother or father was from the corner of their own living room as they watched their parent

Everyone has an attachment style from which they developed in the first two years of their life. This attachment style tends to stay consistent with each person throughout their lifetime and affects their social-emotional development, and thus relationships with other people. Attachment styles greatly affect the choice one makes in life partners, and how they parent their own children. It is important for everyone to gain insight on their own attachment style if they are to know their emotional limits and how to strengthen their flaws in order to develop a better-self and stronger relationships with other people (Norcross, 2011). It is even more so important for caregivers to be aware of their attachment style and how sensitively available they are to the children in their lives. How the primary caregiver responds to the child’s needs, determines the attachment style the child will acquire. To develop a secure attachment the child needs to establish confidence in a reliable caregiver. In this paper I will be talking about the behaviors and interactions that I observed while watching the film “Babies”, and what attachment styles may be formed as a result of those interactions.

This essay will compare and contrast the work of psychologists Harry Harlow and Mary Ainsworth. To compare and contrast will be to emphasise the similarities and differences of both Harlow and Ainsworth’s work on understanding attachment, to which they have both made great contribution. Attachment refers to the mutually affectionate developing bond between a mother and any other caregiver (Custance 2010). It is a bond in which the infant sees the caregiver as a protective and security figure. Failing to form any type of attachment during the earliest years of childhood is thought to lead to social and emotional developmental issues that can carry on well into adult life (Custance 2010). Attachment theory was formulated by psychoanalyst

Infant attachment is the first relationship a child experiences and is crucial to the child’s survival (BOOK). A mother’s response to her child will yield either a secure bond or insecurity with the infant. Parents who respond “more sensitively and responsively to the child’s distress” establish a secure bond faster than “parents of insecure children”. (Attachment and Emotion, page 475) The quality of the attachment has “profound implications for the child’s feelings of security and capacity to form trusting relationships” (Book). Simply stated, a positive early attachment will likely yield positive physical, socio-emotional, and cognitive development for the child. (BOOK)

It is imperative that the early years practitioner promotes children’s physical development. They can do this through having a positive and secure attachment with their children, consequently physically their children will have more confidence interacting with others so may regularly participate in sports; subsequently they will have a better health and well-being. Likewise, being physically active has many long-term health benefits for the whole family, including decreasing the number of children with obesity. Furthermore, practitioners must ensure that children always have access to a spacious outdoor environment that encourage them to use both fine motor and gross motor movements in various creative activities. Additionally babies should be given tummy time so that they are able to develop

Attachment is a term used to describe the dependency relationship a child develops towards his or her primary caregivers. It is first observable during the latter half of the first year of life and develops progressively over the first four years of life. It is most readily observed in the behavior of children when they are sick, injured, tired, anxious, hungry or thirsty. Although early attachment research focused on the mother and infant, it is now generally accepted that children develop multiple attachment relationships. An ‘attachment figure’ is defined as someone who provides physical and emotional care has continuity and consistency in the child’s life, and who has an emotional investment in the child’s life. This can include parents (biological, foster, adopted), grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles, and alternate caregivers (e.g. child-care workers). Given that children are able to form multiple attachments, the question has been asked as to which attachment relationship is most influential on children’s developmental outcomes.

Whitbourne, Susan Krauss Ph.D., “The 4 Principles of Attachment Parenting And Why They Work.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, LLC, July 13, 2013,

This essay sets out to discuss important developments of the attachment theory since the time of John Bolwby. Bowlby’s evolutionary theory of attachment suggests that children come into the world biologically pre-programmed to form attachments with others, to help them survive. He believed that attachment behaviors are instinctive and are activated by any conditions that seem to threaten the achievement of proximity, so separation, insecurity and fear (McLeod, 2007). The first development to be discussed comes from Mary Ainsworth, a former student of Bolwby’s. In the 1970’s Ainsworth developed a procedure, The Strange Situation, to assess the quality of a child’s attachment to their caregiver. Secondly, The Adult Attachment Interview developed shortly after the strange situation by a former student of Ainsworth’s, Mary Main. This looked at the attachment of the adult and the correlation between the adult’s attachment and their child’s. Finally, Edward Tronick’s Still Face Experiment first presented in 1975. This helped look at individual differences in attachment style through a procedure of a baby interacting with the caregiver and then the baby’s reaction to a non-responsive, emotionless caregiver, then most importantly the reaction of the baby when there is reparation from the mother.

The concept of infant-mother attachment is as important to the child as the birth itself. The effect this relationship has on a child shall affect that child for its entire life. A secure attachment to the mother or a primary caregiver is imperative for a child’s development. Ainsworth’s study shows that a mother is responsive to her infant’s behavioral cues which will develop into a strong infant-mother attachment. This will result in a child who can easily, without stress, be separated from his mother and without any anxiety. Of course the study shows a child with a weak infant-mother relationship will lead to mistrust, anxiety, and will never really be that close with the mother. Without the

An individual’s attachment style is conceived as a personality trait which is stable across the individual’s life span. Attachment is seen as a categorical model where individuals are either securely, avoidant or anxiously attached to others. Several studies have indicated how individuals treat attachment-related thoughts is related to their attachment style and governs how they cope with and express the loss of a loved one. When compared with secure and anxious attached adults, avoidant attachment style adults are less concerned with attachment to others. Anxious attachment style adults are worried about loss and will be hyper vigilant to relationship distress.

An infant with a secure attachment style has a natural bond with their parent, where they are able to trust them, at the same time leaving their side to discover and explore their surroundings. In an insecure/resistant attachment the relationship the child has with their mother or caregiver is very clingy, thus making them very upset once the caregiver is away. When the mother or caregiver is back they are not easily comforted and resist their effort in comforting them. In an insecure/avoidant attachment the infant is, “indifferent and seems to avoid the mother, they are as easily comforted by a stranger, as by their parent” (Siegler 2011, p.429). Lastly, the disorganized/disoriented attachment is another insecure attachment style in which the infant has no way of coping with stress making their behavior confusing or contradictory. Through these brief descriptions of the attachment theory, many researchers have defined the turning point in which each attachment definition can have an influence on one’s self esteem, well-being and their marital relationship.

Caregivers play a primary role in how a child may develop. The daily interaction between the caregiver and child continually changes the pathway in which the child may take. How the child is raised and the parenting style used is a significant influence on that development by affecting the relationship between parent and child. This supports the Attachment theory in which emphasizes relationship between the child and caregiver as a key factor in development.

The last parenting style is uninvolved style. This is when the parent is cold and not strict. The parent is not involved with their children. They don’t have time for their children. Children with these parents end up acquiring many problems. “poor emotional self regulation, school achievement difficulties and frequent antisocial acts…” (Berk 389). As it mentions in Infants, Children and Adolescents, when this becomes extreme, this parenting style can be categorizes as neglect.

However, authoritative parenting style has no effect with children when children grow up. Children can be scolded or punished when they do in the wrong ways. Therefore, authoritative parenting style sometimes is not a good way to nurture children.

Sadly, my early years of child rearing were not of heavy observation on my part!  Our home was one of somewhat traditional roles in terms of family dynamic.  I worked long hours away from the home and didn 't have the one on one contact with our children that my wife had, and enjoyed.  I of course got the play-by-play from her, but in hind sight, I was deprived of so many beautiful observations.  Our text Theories of Development Concepts and Applications by William Crain outlines human development by many theorists.  A few of those are John Bowlby, Mary D.S. Ainsworth, and  Erik H. Erikson.  I couldn 't help but reminisce about the stages of my own children’s growth while reading the work of Bowlby, Ainsworth and Erikson.  I remember having my young children with me when ever it was possible, but what attachments to them might I have missed while I was busy working or did I miss any at all?  Bowlby’s work on attachment gives a compelling argument as to the importance of attachment in the first 6 months of a Childs life.  Ainsworth’s work is focused on the idea of a child using the parent as a base for further exploration of their surroundings.  Erikson’s work on the other hand considers the role of society and culture in development.  In reading these works, the theories appear to be easily stitched together to give an all encompassing view of human development over an entire life time and how our attachment to our parents is critical to that development.