Why Lovers Could Never Be Friends

To understand the value of relationships in Shakespeare’s works, it is imperative to first understand the dynamic of male-to-male friendships and their influence on martial ties. During the Elizabethan era, male-to-male relations were far different than they are in our current day and time. During that period, relationships were centered heavily on the societal place an individual held. This ensured that one could only be a legitimate friend with someone if they were of the same sex and the same social class. Thus, guaranteeing equality of the relationship. Furthermore, some authors of the Elizabethan era held more qualifiers for such bonds. For example, Elyot adds the qualifier that males cannot establish their relationships on profit or pleasure if the bond is to be of value and legitimacy (344). When viewed through this strict lens, there exists a narrow division to who can be friends, especially when it comes to those of higher social and monetary standing. Due to these qualifiers and dynamics, husband and wife could not exist as friends because they were not equals due to their position in the household and their opposite genders. In the analogy of the sun and the moon, the wife must serve as the moon and reflect her spouse’s light: submissive to his needs and obedient to his authority. If a husband and wife did procure a friendship, it would be unnatural according to Montaigne. He inflexibly believed women to possess too unpredictable and fiery of a demeanor for a

Love is unique in its striking ability to be a driving force in dictating interpersonal relationships. It patterns behavior and orients individuals towards their distinct, unique attractions. According to Velleman, love penetrates deeper than one’s qualities; it extends to one’s rational will, or the essence of a person. To him, though love appears to have particularity, it is also a moral emotion. Kolodny subscribes to the relationship theory, asserting that an ongoing, interpersonal, and historical relationship with a relative is a part of the reason for love. In Kolodny’s view, the existence of the true self is irrelevant, as is the morality of love. Both Velleman and Kolodny disprove the quality theory; however, their perceptions of love and its morality differ. I believe that Kolodny is correct in his view that morality is irrelevant to love and that there must be factual reasons for love. Although it is enticing to believe that one is attracted to the essence of another, the essence is not motivation enough for love. The relationship theory takes into account the motivation needed to love a particular person from a historical, interpersonal, and ongoing perspective.

When one looks at romantic love, one would conclude that it is a social dyad that brings about certain responsibilities between two people in a relationship such as honesty, protection, openness and expressions of love. (William, 2008: 76). Contrasting with

* Close relationships can be formed between good friends, the closer the relationship becomes the more thoughts, feelings and hopes are shared

Upon observing a typical friendship it becomes clear to us that this relationship is actually devoid of true love; the love in which Cicero speaks of. A genuine friendship is a rare and beautiful thing; a mutual relationship formed between two virtuous

In the play `Romeo and Juliet` the writer William Shakespeare uses the theme of love as a main feature to push the story along. Presented are a plethora of variations of love including family love, true love and courtly love. This essay aims to analyse these three types of love chosen.

“‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” (Miriam-Webster 253). This quote has been used for centuries as both persuasion in favor of loving and also as comfort in times of heartbreak and loss. However, is this statement completely true, or does it offer false hope to anguishing lovers? In fact, are the rules and costs of loving and being loved so great that in fact it is actually better to never have loved at all? When pondering these questions, one must first consider the rules of loving and being loved to determine the physical, emotional, and psychological costs they entail. In order to do so, one could use Andreas Capellanus’ The Art of Courtly Love as a guideline for the rules of love.

A man having a beloved is a demonstrating that he has one of the “noblest” traits of all. Furthermore, the beloved is positively impacted by this Love. Even if he is not yet old enough to have this Love, receiving Love improves the beloved. The social constructs of this time allowed for the male-male relationships discussed in Symposium, but these dialogues also reveal how the perception of the relationships reinforced these constructs. Given how old and noble Love is, social status can be improved by a Loving relationship between lover and

Aristotle describes the basic terms of what he refers to as the friendship of pleasure. In this type of friendship, an individual is seeking something from which they can derive pleasure. Aristotle believes that this sort of relationship is built on love and passion, which constantly changes. Similarly to utility friendships, Aristotle shows that friendships of pleasure are unstable and can abruptly change. He argues that people “quickly become friends and quickly stop” and “love and stop loving quickly”. If this is the case and people are merely running around chasing what they enjoy at the moment, this type of friendship will be frail and has the potential to fall apart quickly. This friendship is based off of the pleasure or the fun you receive by being around the person you are

During the relationship between the lover and the beloved, the lover will be kind to the beloved, but when it ends, the lover will love someone else, disregarding the previous relationship, thus hurting the past beloved (231c). So that after having some extended relationship with the lover, and for example, the lover's passion withers away and the beloved and the lover are no longer together, although the beloved may

From the 19th century through the early 20th century, romantic friendships flourished in America. These relationships, found between both men and women and most commonly within the middle class, provided support invaluable to those involved and were distinctively more intimate than comparable relationships preceding and following them that were not explicitly romantic. The unique intimate nature of romantic friendships and their progression and decline provide important clues into the nature of 19th and early 20th century American society and thought, especially in terms of concepts of gender and sexuality.

In the play, we see many of the aspects of relationships that we have talked about in class, or the lack there of, like the importance of communication in close relationships. We discussed

We only call a certain category of those in love, lovers (Symposium 7) and in contrast with what Aristophanes had said about lovers being in search of their other half, Diotima argues that lovers love what is good. After all, the aim of loving beautiful and good things, of course, is to possess them, because the possession of beautiful and good things is wisdom and with wisdom comes happiness and happiness is deep-down what everyone is ultimately in pursuit of.

A close-knit loving bond between two people can begin with a friendship. Whether it is a friendship between two males, two females, or one male and one female, these friendships will develop into love. In no way is it a romantic love, but this type of love connects and bonds friends. Friends may move away or friendships may wane, but the love between the two people burns on forever.

When discussing love, people generally think about the love between a husband and wife, or the love between a couple in a romantic partnership, and that is one type of love that I will be discussing. In addition to romantic love, there are other types of love also. There is the love we have for our children, our families, and also the love that we have for our friends. All of these types of love share some of the same attributes, however, they have differences also. In reading and researching different types of love, I have found that romantic love and friendship seem to be the most similar in nature, although they have differences, they share a lot of the same attributes. I found that friendship and romantic love tend to have more similarities than differences. In this paper I will examine romantic love and friendship. I will discuss the definitions of the two, and what elements each of these have. I will discuss the different theories of love, and I will compare and contrast the similarities and differences between romantic love and friendship.