Why Men Still Can T Have It All Analysis

Throughout history, women have been groomed to be the best they can domestically. To place them in the man’s position of being the sole provider of the family seems irrational at best. Although the natural gender roles may be overpowering during the start of having a family, through time duties between husband and wife, regarding domestic life, tend to balance out once financial security is established. Like many major changes, it starts out bumpy but eventually a solution is found and both husband and wife find their “happy-medium.”

Men and women also have different opinions and reactions to leaving the house for work, Dorment says. Men today want to be better fathers than men in previous generations, men still feel like they have to provide for the family, even if they have wives that bring in forty-five percent of the family income (Dorment 709). This is why men feel as though they can work long hours away from home. They feel as though they are sacrificing time with their kids to provide for the family (even though they may still miss their kids). Women, Dorment points out, have a different reaction to leaving their kids to go to work. They feel guilty and experience

The differences between gender roles are not so apparent anymore. Men are not always the typical breadwinners and many women are not stay-at-home mothers. An article by Beaupré, Dryburgh, and Wendy (2010) described the transition that many men are going through. According to Beaupré, et al., (2010), fathers were once considered the forgotten parent. “Until recently studies on the family focused mainly on the mothers” (Beaupré, et al., 2010). Fortunately, both parents are now being focused on. Fathers today are much more involved in the pregnancy and birth of their child and their child’s life in general (Beaupré, et al., 2010). Beaupré, et al., (2010) explained that women’s involvement in the labour force could be a factor to this change. Women are more educated than they were in previous years. And while women want to work more, men want to be more involved in their children’s lives (Beaupré, et al., 2010). Fatherhood is occurring later in adulthood. Research stated that the majority of men are very satisfied with their involvement in their children’s lives. (Beaupré, et al., 2010).

Many people have different perspectives about who can have it all. In “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All,” Anne-Marie Slaughter makes a point in her essay which is that you cannot have it all. However, in “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All,” Richard Dorment responds to her essay with a different opinion, and he makes arguments to prove his opinion about this topic. To understand his opinion, we are going to look at his points, how did he make the points, and my personal opinion on his argument.

Women for years have been automatically given the role of the domestic housewife, where their only job is to cook, clean, and take care of the children. Men have usually taken the primary responsibility for economic support and contact with the rest of society, while women have traditionally taken the role of providing love, nurturing, emotional support, and maintenance of the home. However, in today’s society women over the age of sixteen work outside of the home, and there are more single parent households that are headed by women than at any other time in the history of the United States (Thompson 301.)

Whether it is the past or the present, there have always been gender roles in society. In most homes, it is the woman’s responsibility to take care of the house. This includes cleaning, meal preparations, raising and taking care of the children as well as the husband. Compared to the men who take care of the more physical activities, such as yard work. It was known throughout many years that it was a woman’s responsibility to stay in the house while the man would go out and look for work to provide money for his family. Although the intensity of gender roles has changed, it still exists.

Women’s role within the household has changed considerably over a period of time. In the later days in the United States women were to attend to the children and to the house and not do much more than that. Children are now being raised by stay at home dads instead of the stereotypical stay at home moms. According to Gardner, "Real-life families have changed considerably since 'Mr. Mom ' appeared, with more men sharing child-rearing and household chores." (Gardner 2010) This is occurring because women’s jobs are no longer labeled as being just for women. Men have gotten a lot of criticism for being stay at

Both men and women learn how to balance their lives with family and work and sometimes they frustrated to manage balance because their kids and paying bills. The article explain the point about both men and women still cannot have it all because both genders have life to do their own work and family. Richard states “Men in dual-income couples work outside the home eleven more hours a week than their working wives or partners do…” (Dorment 701).

As women continue to struggle for equality in today's society, there is an ever growing notion born out of patriarchal ideology, that a mother has the sole responsibility of caring for and nurturing her children. In the somewhat jocular but pragmatic story “Bad Mother” by Ayelet Waldman (2010) she points to the imbalance between societal expectations of mothers and fathers when she comments:

If someone were to walk up to you and ask if you “have it all,” you would probably look confused and answer with a question of your own: Have “what” all? Exactly! Richard Dorment rebukes Anne-Marie Slaughter’s piece of “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” with his own piece of “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All.” While Slaughter believes that with “work-family” balance, women (and men too) can have it all, but not with the current structures of our society and economy, Dorment contends that no one can have it all. Whereas Slaughter focused mainly on women in her concept work-family balance, balancing their career time and family time with their children, Dorment shifts this concept to “dual-income” home, both parents

The good provider role that is often regarded as the norm for husbands or fathers is one that highlights them as the sole economic provider for the family. This belief emerged during the 1930’s and remained until the model for men until the 1970’s. From this notion, men believed success was measured in terms of steady employment connected with a high salary. Males that achieved this were rewarded with the social status that comes along with higher paying positions and it also helped to reinforce the authority of the husband within the homestead. For individuals who could not achieve this, a feeling of failure or being unable to meet social expectations set for men could lead to restricted family roles and create men that abandon their family.

In a structured family each person has their own role in order for the family as a whole to function properly. The wife is often referred to as the “Angel in the house”. Her designated role is to be the nurturer. A good mother is expected to contribute her whole life to her family. Mothers are expected to be the glue that holds a family together. It is their responsibility to provide the loving care and support needed for raising children, making her husband feel loved, and taking care of household chores and preparing daily meals. In the household the father also has a fundamental role. They play “the breadwinner”, their position in the marriage/ family is to care for the needs of their family by providing shelter, food, and safety. Neither the wife nor husband is

The topc from all of the four articles talked about work-life balance between men and women. The article from Robert Dorment and his article called Why Men Still Can’t Have It All and his points talked about hard to get women to understand that men have struggles with work-life balance too. Second article called Why Women Still Can’t Have It All that Anne-Marie Slaughter wrote about women can successfully balance professional advancement with women and work-life balance. Third article called Women, work and work/life balance: Research roundup by Margaret Weigel and she wrote about work-life how to face this situation between men and women. For example, work-life balance and wage inequality

This idea of the father taking the primary financial role in a family is very common with the time-demanding jobs that come with this responsibility. Ultimately, both my mother and my father needed to make choices to for the benefit of the family, both partners needed to compromise, no-one can truly “have it all,” there simply has to be a trade off that is unique for each and every individual.

Women are not the shadows of their husbands. Their roles are much more than the acknowledgment of their spouse. They’re much more than the home keeper and the baby breeders. They play an important role not only in marriage, but also in life. Men are not just their job titles. They’re main priority isn’t just to provide for the home. Home should be equally divided between men and women. Time has change greatly where the roles has either switch or has become equally between the husband and the wife.