Why Men Still Can 't Have It All By Richard Dorment

There is a huge debate going on today about gender. Society believes you’re a boy if you like blue, and like to play sports and go hunting; and you’re a girl if you like pink and have long hair and pig tails and play with Barbie dolls. Society has forced us to choose between the two. I believe that both women and men can both have it all. As Dorment says, ‘competing work life balance and home as much as women’. (Dorment 697) I believe in this article Richard Dorment, has argued his opinion very well, I think both men and woman equally need to be involved in housework as well as taking care of the children. In today’s world were judging who were going to be even before were born. Throughout this article Dorment effectively convinces his audience that men and women should be equal by using statistics and emotional stories, Dorment uses personal stories and extensive research to make readers believe in his credibility, and lastly Dorment employs the rhetorical appeals of pathos and ethos effectively.

In life we are told to “have it all” by raising a perfect family, getting a beautiful house, and having a high paying job; but is it possible to have it all? How many people can honestly have it all, when so many are just trying to survive? In the articles, “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” and “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All,” Anne-Marie Slaughter and Richard Dorment, discuss how women function in the workplace and the different expectant outcomes for each, mainly focusing on the upper class. The primary objective of Slaughter’s passage was to show how women are treated poorly and how they are held to a different standard than their male counterparts. Dorment focused mostly on how neither women nor men should strive to “have it all” because nobody can. Together they consider the subjects of workplace discrimination, housework standards, family involvement, and striving to “have it all.”

“Look at us! We’re just like everyone else. We’ve bought into the same ridiculous delusion; this idea that you have to settle down and resign from life.” (April Wheeler, Revolutionary Road). It has become a society norm that women are meant to serve housewives; to cook, clean, garden, and nurture children, even though they are much more capable of other things. The role of women is greatly overseen, as they are not perceived to be of their full potential, rather than as societies idealistic expectation. This is because men and those who are wealthy are unable to look past gender and accept women as of equal significance.

The county is seeing this gap start to close over time, however, research shows that women are far more likely than men to leave their occupations, either temporarily or even permanently, to take care of their children (Patten, 2015).

Stephanie Coontz started off her article about the 50th anniversary of the publication of Betty Friedan’s international best seller, “The Feminine Mystique”, which was written about the women’s movement of the 1960s. What Coontz is trying to explain is that gender equality is not stalled, but “It has hit a wall”. Her title is the opposite of what she is trying to write about in the article. At first she talked about women’s rights back when the book was written. Instead of blaming the beliefs of gender roles from individuals, she points the finger at the economy and the work-family policies as the major problems to gender equality. She explains the gender equality stalled during 1990s and the first few years of the 2000s. She brought into text the usual statics, “the percentage of Americans preferring the male breadwinner/female homemaker family model actually rose to 40 percent from 34 percent. Between 1997 and 2007, the number of full-time working mothers who said they would prefer to work part time increased to 60 percent from 48 percent. In 1997, a quarter of stay-at-home mothers said full-time work would be ideal. By 2007, only 16 percent of stay-at-home mothers wanted to work full time.”(Coontz) She also talked about how 70 percent of men and women want an egalitarian relationship and how the demand of work has intensified.

Many people have different perspectives about who can have it all. In “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All,” Anne-Marie Slaughter makes a point in her essay which is that you cannot have it all. However, in “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All,” Richard Dorment responds to her essay with a different opinion, and he makes arguments to prove his opinion about this topic. To understand his opinion, we are going to look at his points, how did he make the points, and my personal opinion on his argument.

Even today, in 2017, the issue of equality in the workplace is a very real and talked about problem. Sheryl Sandberg talks about this issue in “Lean In: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid.” She proposes the idea that the reason women do not receive results equal to their male counterparts is not because of lack of opportunity, but because they are choosing to pursue different priorities than men. In “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All,” Anne-Marie Slaughter discusses the idea that in today’s economic and social environment, it is not realistic for women to try to “have it all.” Similarly, Richard Dorment writes about why it is not just women that “can’t have it all” in his book, “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All.” There are always at

In life people are told to “have it all” by raising a perfect family, getting a beautiful house, and having a high paying job; but is it possible to have it all? How many people can honestly have it all, when so many are just trying to survive? In the articles, “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” and “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All,” Anne-Marie Slaughter and Richard Dorment, discuss how women function in the workplace and the different expectant outcomes for each; mainly focusing on the upper class. The primary objective of Slaughter’s passage was to show how women are treated poorly and how they are held to a different standard than their male counterparts. While Dorment focused mostly on how neither women nor men should strive to “have it all” because nobody can. Together they consider the subjects of workplace discrimination, housework standards, family involvement, and striving to “have it all.”

Women’s role within the household has changed considerably over a period of time. In the later days in the United States women were to attend to the children and to the house and not do much more than that. Children are now being raised by stay at home dads instead of the stereotypical stay at home moms. According to Gardner, "Real-life families have changed considerably since 'Mr. Mom ' appeared, with more men sharing child-rearing and household chores." (Gardner 2010) This is occurring because women’s jobs are no longer labeled as being just for women. Men have gotten a lot of criticism for being stay at

In the article “The End of Men,” Hanna Rosin offers several examples of women overpowering men. The inequality between men and women has become a critical issue in today’s society. According to Rosin, women are slowly surging ahead in the workforce and family life while men are left behind struggling to meet expectations. Rosin argues that this role reversal is taking place because women are simply better suited for postindustrial society.

Robert Dorment’s summary from his article talked about that women always complained about men did wrong but men who worked so hard for their family and work-life balance. Richard used that word “castigate” for men that means women scold men, but they did not realize men worked so hard. Other quote about the castigation of men, “…person whose husband, by her own admission, sacrificed much in his own academic career to do other heavy lifting with their children, all so she could pursue her dream job and then complain about it, bitterly, in the pages of a national magazine” (Dorment 708). Anne-Marie Slaughter explained that women who get promotion from other positions that they realized they do not have spent time with their family and some women who leave their jobs because of their family reasons. The quote said, “It is unthinkable that an official would actually step down to spend time with his or her family that this must be a cover for something else” (Slaughter 682). Third article called Women, work and work/life balance: Research roundup talked about the wage inequality and unequal responsibilities between men and women. Women have more family responsibilities than men do because some women are staying at home while taking care of their kids. Last article, Work-Life Balance – An integrated Approach: The case for joint and several responsibility talked about the

Women fought very hard for their rights in the workplace. Some of them, including Susan B Anthony, went above and beyond the norm. Yet, today our rights are still not the same as a man’s. At one point women weren’t allowed to work at all, and today they are allowed to have jobs while still being home makers. Although improvements have been made, there are still several dilemmas that need to be addressed. A women earns less than a man when doing the same work, and that is extremely unfair. Another issue in the workplace is that men underestimate women due to lack of strength and discrimination. There are also the issues of pregnancy and sexual

In some instances, one salary may not be sufficient to maintain the family needs. When a woman takes up maternity leave depending on the circumstance, her spouse may want to be there to assist. In taking up paternity leave the father can be present to lend his support in one way or another. Taking time off from work to be at home with the family for a few weeks does not take away a man’s role in the family. Fathers play an important role in child-rearing. A man who loves his family and has family values would see no fault in staying at home for a few weeks to lend support and assist his spouse with little things like change diapers, give baths, make meals and clean the house. While the “rest of the men” are doing “stuff”, men who are confident and value their family do “stuff” with them.

It is not to say that a man would not be open to stay home with the kids. It is that his own work and boss may not be accommodating. He may experience his own discrimination wanting to participate in the caregiver role. He is looked at as weak and not being a real man. If there is problem at school, an appointment, or a sporting event, it is usually the mother who must take time off of work (Lam 2). Women are perceived as the caregiver, which is true even as a child. Young girls carry around their dolls emulating their own mother or caregiver. Girls are taught to nurture and to be sensitive to others. These are not negative traits, but are often seen as weak in the business world. There needs to be a balance and separation between the nurturing role at home and management role at work.

“Women still can’t have it all,” and “Why men still can’t have it all,” because no matter what an individual do with their life they will be judge in a way they never understood. When a successful men or women are being seen powerful working persona others can start to criticism her as not being a good parent. Women and men just cannot have it all and all everyone does is contribute the best they can and try. The phrase “Having It All,” is being overused by women and men. Having it all means different things to different people. For me, it’s what I need and want in life. For instance, I don’t have to be the wealthiest or the most powerful person in the world as long as I got a decent job that support my financial institution and a family of my own, and that I could provide time for my love ones. Although men and women have battled countless times to reach to the peak of their jobs while having families, they tend to fall back down to their needs. However, some have achieved the goal of having it all, but it doesn’t necessarily mean being at the top of the food chain while being a parent. For instance, my old supervisor who had decided to demoted herself from a supervisor to a team-lead because she wanted to spend more time with her daughter. As a result, she also has less stress and more time for her daughter now. I believe men and women can have it all to a certain degree with their career choice, as well as being a good parent or good spouse, the