Why Should We Try Cohabitation For The Short Time Before Marriage?

Hey, Mom I just want you to know that Bob and I are going to live together. I know that you and dad do not agree with it, nonetheless, I am an adult and I am going to move into his place tomorrow. How can a parent see a child go through with a decision like this and know that he or she is making a wrong choice? Sometimes a young adult may make a choice that a parent does not like. As a result, a young adult has now plunged into cohabitation. Does it really matter if you cohabitate before marriage? In finding the answer to this problem, I have come across two articles which help explain the pros and the cons of the question, “Should couples cohabitate or get married?” The first article is Sliding Versus Deciding: Inertia, the Premarital Cohabitation Effect. When a couple has “dedication commitment” (Stanley, Rhoades, and Markmann, 503) with each other, cohabitation works for partners. It is likely your partner will stay in the relationship and want to work it out no matter what happens. The second article is The Verdict on Cohabitation vs. Marriage. While many people think that cohabiting is really the in thing with life today. Marriage trumps over cohabitation. Some marriage may not have the “happily ever after” it still has a better start to their life as a couple.

Marriage is an adjustment between two people getting married Communication can cause a relationship to succeed or fail. If you do not share how you feel, it can cause your partner to withdraw. Listening can save a relationship. Schonberg (2011) found that “affective affirmation –basically, behavior that makes your partner feel loved cared for or special plays a role in a happy marriage and those men need it more than women. There are several factors and problems that can cause marriage to either succeed or fail. It is important to discuss problem things left unsaid can cause your partner to with draw.

Should we consider moving in before getting married? In the New York Times Magazine, the article The Downside of Cohabiting before Marriage states that “In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million. The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation”. (1) Considering moving in with your partner before marriage you will get to know each other a lot better. The Census Bureau reports that over 40-50 percent of married couples in the United States end in divorce. When couples live with their partner prior to marriage, the responsibility is now of two instead of one. Splitting things like bills and rents has never been so easier. Moving is a huge step in a relationships. Two people are essentially committing loyalty to one another as they move in together. Living together is a better option prior to getting married.

Many couples find themselves cohabiting today because it is cheaper and more convenient while others take it as a step forward in their committed relationships. Regardless of reason cohabiting has become a union of choice. In recent years cohabitation has transformed from an act of deviance to a norm in many societies. We will be focusing on how time and social change determines cohabitation and divorce.

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

It is said that every two marriages end in divorce. Even though this estimate seems to be pretty high, there is no question that in today’s society the biggest cause of divorce is people getting married way too soon. The question is “Should Couples Live Together before Marriage?” Some may agree that it is a good idea to cohabitating before marriage but some may not. Their decision may be based on their parents’ standards and strong belief background. From personal experience, couples (those who are actually planning to start a life together) should live together before marriage. For many reasons: to see how your spouse lives, it helps finically, and it is practice before the real thing. You always want to know you are ready before you need up with someone you are not compatible with.

The instability and increased negative interaction caused by cohabitation both contribute to higher divorce rates among couples who cohabited before marrying. Macklin’s studies have shown that married couples who lived together before getting married disagree more often over finances, household duties, and even recreational activities. Not only this, but couples in this situation are typically less dependent on their spouses and a higher percentage of these couples seek marriage counseling than couples who did not live together before marriage (1978).

Couples start getting to know each other in a more closer and personal level when they live with each other which eventually gets them ready for marriage. Living together is a big thing, marriage is a bigger thing. It can help couples in many ways, to know if their spouse will help around the house to do chores. If the other person isn't putting in the same effort, it's kinda of hard for one person to get around everywhere and do everything, for instance, some men say that the women's job to do the housework such as clean, cook, take care of the kids, and the men just sit around and do nothing. Not all women like that.

I hate you! People who loved each other and shared everything can’t take it anymore. They decide to divorce and forget everything. huffingtonpost.com claimed that 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. What’s wrong? Why they didn’t make it? Couples who live together before marriage appear to have a much higher chance of divorce if they marry, said Kamp Dush in the book ‘’Journal of Marriage and Family’’. Some people would agree that couples should live together before marriage, some would not. Their decisions may be based on their strong beliefs, backgrounds, their parents ' standards or the statistics of marriage versus divorce. The question of, ˜Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage? ' I strongly believe they should not, and today I want to show you reasons why.

Therefore, living together will ensure the couple whether or not they can get along in the future. Those people consider pre-cohabitation as an effective way to prepare themselves for being a family. According to Popenoe David, “in case the relationship goes sour, they can avoid the trouble, expense and emotional trauma” (4). It is a good idea to live together because if the couples have troubles they can just move out and continue with their separate lives without being obliged to undergo the different procedures of divorce. In the end, perhaps after living with various people, a person will finally find their appropriate partner for marriage and be happy. Popenoe points out that, “living together helps you see past romanticized notions and clue in to what marriage will really be like”(8). Accordingly, choosing reality as a primary factor to determine the result of cohabitation is a wise decision. People who cohabitate get a clue to see whether or not they will be able to share their lives with the partners they have chosen and what kind of disagreements might proceed within the relationship. Overall, the best opportunity of living up to one-another’s assumptions is to apprehend what they really are in advance and know what they care about.

Although marriage has been a central factor and gives meaning to human lives, the change in people’s lifestyles and behaviors through a long period of social development has resulted in alternate choices such as being single or nonmarital living. As a result, cohabitation has become more popular as a trendy life choice for young people. The majority of couples choose cohabitation as a precursor to marriage to gain a better understanding of each other. However, there are exceptions, such as where Thornton, Azinn, and Xie have noted: “In fact, the couple may simply slide or drift from single into the sharing of living quarters with little explicit discussion or decision-making. This sliding into cohabitation without

These constraints lead some cohabiting couples to marry, even though they would not have married under other circumstances. On the basis of this framework, Stanley, Rhoades, et al. (2006) argued that couples who are engaged prior to cohabitation, compared with those who are not, should report fewer problems and greater relationship stability following marriage, given that they already have made a major commitment to their partners. Several studies have provided evidence consistent with this hypothesis (Brown, 2004; Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009).

In todays’ world, with increased incidence of unsuccessful relationship or marriages, there are some people who want/prefer to live together before marriage so that they can understand each other and they don’t have to experience a painful divorce. In my point of view, this is another option/type of marriage. Because if the relationship won’t work successfully then they can separate their ways easily and live happily. By living together before marriage, they have time to know about each other's living style and behavior and their relation get even stronger than before but if it does not work then they can move ahead in their lives before taking a wrong step of living together for the whole life but sometimes living together is against to some family principles, ethics of society, religious point of view. Sometimes these types of relationships are very successful without any regret in life and on the other hand it comes out as an unsuccessful and worst relationship. But I think advantages are more powerful than disadvantages.

When we talk about starting a life with someone, we always think about doing things in the right order like we were thought. We start by knowing each other, dating, proposing, getting marry, and then moving together to start a new life as husband and wife. In old fashion times we would have never imagine that moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend before marriage would even be allow, but in today’s society seeing a couple living together is more common than what we might think. The idea of cohabiting with your current partner challenges a lot of morals and different cultures, who believe that every couple should follow the process of “doing things right” My grandma always said “god made rules for a reason”, but those rules are a little too old fashion. Even though the idea of moving in with the your current partner is judged by a lot of people, especially by religious followers, moving in with your partner can actually help you determine whether you want to be with them or not. When moving in with your current partner you can learn a lot about them in the aspect of how they live their life at home, it helps to be sure of decision on marriage, and it helps couples experience something new without the risk of divorce.

For today’s young adults, the first generation to come of age during the divorce revolution, living together seems like a good way to achieve some of the benefits of marriage and avoid the risk of divorce. Couples who live together can share expenses and learn more about each other. They can find out if their partner has what it takes to be married. If things don’t work out, breaking up is easy to do. Cohabiting couples do not have to seek