arranged marriage: for america? Essay

In North America, people will argue that love needs to happen before marriage but, historically, this is actually a very new notion. Mr. Smolinsky was in shock when his daughters wanted to marry for love. He asked his wife if they even looked at each other before the engagement and she replied, “’Maybe if I had the sense of my daughters in America, I would have given you a good look over before the wedding’” (76). This implies that if she had the choice, she would have married for love or perhaps a different man at least.

Marriage is described as two people as partners in a personal relationship. There are two typical ideas of marriage that we know today. The first one that comes to mind is the one we all know, based on love, but there is another one that some may not even know of and its arranged marriages. Arranged marriage is not typically in our culture we know but in different cultures arranged marriages are their normal marriage. Throughout this essay, I will discuss the importance of realizing cultural diversity and how we apply the perspectives we gain from cross-cultural comparison to our own experience using central concepts about marriage to compare and contrast marriage in several cultures.

     In years past, the American Dream for most young girls’ is to grow up and be married to Prince Charming and to “Live Happily Ever After!” Although this may be expected - it is rarely fulfilled. Marriage is the legal and binding union between a man and woman. Yet when couples marry, they vow to stay by their partner’s side ‘till death do us part.’ Currently that vow seems to have little or no value in today’s society. The current statistics for survival of marriage are quite grim. The divorce rate in the United States is somewhere between 50 percent and a startling 67 percent. (KSL News) One contributing factor the growing epidemic of divorce is the parting of different family

About two centuries ago a new standard to the way marriage should be viewed came about. This set higher expectations for marriage. This change made more strict divorce laws, in turn made it harder to end a good marriage, it gave individuals more freedom to refuse a spouse. “The husband became the family’s economic motor, and the wife its sentimental core.” (p. 385) By the late eighteenth century marriage became a private contract between a husband and wife and was not regulated by church or state. However many working-class families did not adopt the new norms until the twentieth century. Different culture and countries still argued their views, many changed their description of an ideal mate.

In “For better, for worse: Marriage means something different now,” Stephanie Coontz reveals the worldwide changes in people’s attitudes and behaviors towards marriage. According to Coontz, education and the social norms are the reasons why marriage has become nonessential. Being single and going through a divorce are more acceptable now. The motivations of marriage have turned from economic dependence into personal willingness. In fact, Coontz’s words make me wonder the true meaning of marriage. Even though the meaning has changed over times, I believed that I still hope to get married.

Marriage has changed dramatically over time in the many years it has been around. What do think Marriage was like 100 years ago? The article, “American Marriage in Transition”, describes how many different types of marriage there are and how people have changed their view on it. Andrew Cherlin (the sociologist of the article) does a great job going in depth explaining American marriage. He arranges the different marriages in three different categories; Institutionalized which was the earliest type of marriage, then Companionship around World War II, and currently we are considered Individualized.

Marriage has been a heated controversy for the past few years because people often marry for the wrong reasons. Anyone who thinks of an ideal marriage would think of two people loving each other and sharing a personal bond or goals together. Marriage is regularly defined as the legally or formally recognized union of two lovers as partners in a personal relationship. This definition remarks there is an actual connection between two people in marriage, but do people actually consider this when committing to “love” and “support” their partners forever? As research and studies have shown, people ultimately get married for many reasons, except love. This philosophy can be easily applied to the short poem, “Marriage” by Gregory Corso. In this emotional poem, the author argues marriage is more effectively understood or known for culture and convenience rather than through the abstract considerations of love. Here, we can identify people generally decide to marry for the incorrect reasons, for instance the story of the author himself. Corso finds himself confused multiple times, wondering if he should marry to not be lonely, for tradition and for his physical and mental health. He disregards love, a relationship or a connection with his future wife. General ways of convenience like loneliness, health and economic status between cultural stereotypes and religion are usually the true reasons of why people chose to have the commitment of marriage with another person.

A survey of 14000 adults states in ‘A Guide to Family Issues: The Marriage Advantage’ that marriage was a pertinent factor contributing to happiness and satisfaction with forty percent of the married individuals being happy as opposed to 25 percent of either single or cohabiting individuals. The same study shows that ninety eight percent of never married respondents wished to marry and out of those 88% believed that it should be a lifelong commitment. Even though, divorce rates are rising numerous researches show that young people aspire to have a lasting marriage.

“Americans do not seem to be interested in a reality check on the topics of love and marriage. After all, it seems to be more fun to believe in fairy tales” (Hornblow). There is a large number of Americans who would get married at least once in their lives, without thinking of the importance of a marriage and the possibilities that could happen based on quick decisions. The true meaning to what marriage is, issues involving marriage, which causes the divorce rate to rise in the United States, and the importance of marriage, to what is being done to increase the chance of a happy long-lasting marriage. Marriages in the United States can be seen by the explanation of the effects of not being able to tackle problems, or being able to learn how to work through complex issues of everyday life as a married couple.

Tina Turner once sang, “What’s love got to do with it?” Within the song, Turner’s answer to this question is to focus only on her feelings of attraction, thus rejecting any romantic feelings. The same question can be posed to the concept of marriage. Marriage might seem easily definable: a legal union of two people. However, the motivations behind marriage differ across cultures. In America marriage is often linked with the idea of love. However, the idea of marriage as a bond of love is specific to Western culture. Additionally, marrying for love is a fairly new idea. Historically various cultures, many European, used marriage as a political tool. In this way, marriage was about gaining

In society, marriage is generally seen as an acceptable way of living life, and is often loaded with the expectation of having a family. However, marriage has various implications as well as meanings to an individual, based upon their experiences with marriage. Some view marriage simply and plainly as an experience you get to share with the love of your life. Others view it as a ploy to waste your time, and more often than not some do it because it is practical. Contrary to the negativity and skepticism surrounding marriage, individuals still aspire to get married. Regardless of the various viewpoints of marriage some individuals have to offer, the institution of marriage still holds significance within our society. Reflecting upon this myself,

Some cringe at the third world thought of arranged marriage. However, Ji Hyun Lee’s article in The New York Times titled, “Modern Lessons From Arranged Marriages”, begins to raise questions concerning how lessons from this culturally unique phenomenon may be able to aid in non-arranged marriages in the United States with the help of experts. Michael J. Rosenfeld, associate sociology professor at Stanford University claims, “I don’t think love marriage and arranged marriage are as different as we make them out to be.” He asserts that the concept of “love marriage” mimics the ancient art of pairing in “arranged marriages,” stating that individuals end up being partnered with another whom is similar to themselves in regards to race, religion, class background, and age. Senior Research Psychologist, Robert Epstein found that parental involvement is the key to a strong arranged marriage, as the parents screen for potential deal breakers in the couples’ relationship. Many in successful arranged marriages attribute the success of their union to their parents’ involvement. Dr. Epstein notes that in a nation such as the US, we celebrate independence and freedom of choice, which is likely the reason why so many view arranged marriages with such unwavering hesitation. Although he admits that the tradition of arranged marriages does not hold much hope in gaining acceptance today, he notes an undeniable fact: when 40-50% of all American marriages end in divorce, there is logic in

The simplest and most basic foundation of a sociological civilization or group begins at the core center of sociology; which is marriage and the inner-fabric creation of a family. It is said that matches are made in heaven, however finding and defining your “soul mate” differs from one social group to the next. The social institution of marriage changes and adapts consistently through time, religious practice, and national beliefs. Many people believe they lead happy and satisfying lives without a marital partner, as others highly value and desire a life-long marital partner as the pinnacle achievement of their life.

Couples who dare cross the social conventions have to cope with a lot of social pressure within their families and outside. These problems are more acute in the rural areas compared to the urban areas and metropolitan cities. Much depends upon the family background. If parents are educated and enlightened on both sides, things would be easier for the children, who get involved in unconventional relationships. One of the evils of Hindu marriages is the ubiquitous dowry system.

Arranged marriage is a good thing and should be respected by those throughout the world who condemn it.