what we talk about when we talk about love

     In contrast to these fairly pessimistic views on love, the author describes an instance in which a couple found true love. Mel tells an anecdote of an old couple that was admitted to the emergency room after a very bad car accident. The two people were wrapped up in full body casts, and as a result they could not see each other. Mel noticed that the old man was very sad, even

The relationship gains the approval of both of the individuals parents and many expect them to settle down and start a family. While finding a life partner is what society of the time deemed a success for a woman, Esther resented Buddy's expectation of her to simply distance herself from her desire to be a poet and become a mother. “I also remembered Buddy Willard saying in a sinister, knowing way that after I had children I would feel differently, I wouldn't want to write poems any more. So I began to think maybe it was true that when you were married and had children it was like being brainwashed, and afterward you went about numb as a slave in some private, totalitarian state.” (Plath The Bell Jar). Buddy’s views become clear to Esther and lead her to finally decide that she is not willing to subside to them. Esther isn’t willing to let go of her creativity in exchange for motherhood, however she feels that she in unable to proclaim this as Buddy’s views correlate with those of her society. Her first escape from alienation, her first feelings of liberation from Buddy Willard and his views are illustrated when Esther asks her trusty doctor, Dr. Nolan to go for a ‘’fitting’’. Esther feels free as she climbs up onto the examination table: she feels both mentally and physically prepared to take on Buddy. Unfortunately, “Ever since I’d learned about

Love is a commonly misinterpreted concept that is many times taken for granted and unsurprisingly difficult to thoroughly comprehend. Love is an intangible conception and a condition of the mind that allows one to transcend emotional barriers between one another. In Raymond Carver’s short-story “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love”, love is illustrated in several different ways to provide insight on the various forms of love and how they transcend these emotional barriers.

Raymond Carver wrote "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love" in 1981, by doing this Carver also created the character Mel. This short story is written in first person narration from Nick, one of Mel's friends. Both of their wives, Terri (Mel) and Laura (Nick) are also in the kitchen having the love conversation with Mel and Nick. Mel is a forty five year old, tall, curly headed cardiologist. Mel also has an ex-wife with whom he had children with. Mel is related to the theme of Love being undefinable by bringing up the conversation of love, talking about several examples of what love is or is not, trying to prove his point even though he does not completely understand what love is, and being an example of undefinable love himself.

After analyzing Raymond Carver's "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love," it is easy to see that there are several different ideas concerning true love that the characters in the story are in dispute over. Terri's idea of real love is the most valid out of the group at the table. All of the members of the group are rather confused as to what real love is. Terri is included as one of the confused. However, I believe that she is the closest to understanding what love is. A key piece of evidence demonstrating her understanding of love is her remark to Laura and Nick. She scolds the couple for basing their relationship on physical aspects, rather than emotion or passion. Terri, like the rest of the party, is on her second marriage.

People are prone to others, to hold onto ideals they cherish the most. We as human beings need some sort of physical form to attach ourselves to no matter what circumstance may be presented in front of us. Love is just one of the many presented circumstances that require such attachments, the purest and most in depth circumstance that anyone could ever be a part of. The characters within the story “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” are considered to be within the boundaries of an in-love relationship. They show the differences between couples, the good and evil, and even what the betrayal of previous marriages can do to a person’s ability to fall in love again. There is one key to being able to succeed without probable cause to

Carver uses the protagonist, Mel, to aggressively drive the couples discussion, as well as to exemplify the complexity in the endeavor to define true love. Therefore, Carver makes his assertion of Mel 's superiority within the first sentence of the story. "My friend Mel McGinnis was talking. Mel McGinnis is a cardiologist, and sometimes that gives him the right" (Carver 132). To the reader, Mel is immediately seen as competent, as surely he is the only person among the couples who can accurately relay the correct definition of love. However, Mel is in fact dumbfounded to the idea of love, and is aggressively participating in the conversation despite his clear failure of a marriage. "Mel and Terri, on the other hand, have been together five years, and their surface-level civility to one another barely masks a deep-seated anger and resentment. Mel 's alcoholism, and increasing drunkenness over the course of the evening, sets a tone of increasingly intensified menace to the whole conversation" (Overview). Therefore, not only is Mel in a failing marriage, but he appears to be the reason behind the decline. Yet, Mel 's pursuit of an absolute answer to love preseceeds unhindered, even as his thought process now begins to contradict itself. "If he sees that Ed 's passion hardly qualifies as love, he need not feel quite as emotionally threatened by the dead lover, but only up to a point. It would not, for example, enhance Mel 's self-image for him to see the parallel between Ed 's

Mel on the other hand, is not passionate. It seems as though Terri favored marriage with Ed over marriage with Mel.

Symbols are an essential part of daily life, since they help to express ideas without the need of a detailed explanation; traffic signs informing drivers without short paragraphs being posted in their place, facial gestures expressing feelings without having to describe them verbally, just to name a common couple. Likewise, symbols are a crucial part of a literary work, helping the author subtly incorporate concepts throughout the work. An author will deliberately incorporate a symbol into his or her literary work, which alone would mean nothing, but in context carries out a point the author is trying to make. "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love" is a short story about four friends trying to find the true meaning of love, trying

With her hands tied up behind her back on a chair. A bright light turns on blinding Eleanor. She then sees the mysterious man. “You ruined everything, Eleanor. I had everything and now it’s all gone. It’s all your fault,” he said. He then comes out into the light and now Eleanor knew that this mystery man was no mystery at all, it was Richie. “What do you mean?” Eleanor said furiously. “Everything,” Richie shouted. “You took my family away from me. You know you were never my favorite. I always wondered what the problem was. Now I know all along it was you. If you weren’t here everything would be perfect right now,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to ruin everything. I don’t do it on purpose” Eleanor said. He takes out a knife and stabs her immediately regretting it. Eleanor not knowing what to do next she just stares blankly. Richie panics untying her hands from the chair. He takes her outside. Richie sets her down on the side of the street and walks away leaving her

Sharon Olds in "True Love" wonders about a true meaning of love in her uniquely written poem about a married couple. She hints that true love is about belonging to one another. That belonging or self-possession is reflected via ties of marriage. She further says that children, which are a product of marriage, only tighten marital bonds even more. The speaker starts her poem by describing two people having sex and looking at each other in a “complete friendship”. However, as much as the poem at first seems to have a positive meaning, the message appears to be quite opposite. In fact, “after making love, we look at each other in complete friendship" (2-3) sounds odd if used when describing the love between friends with benefits or a married couple. Friends with benefits contribute to unhealthy relationships that they are in, which is built on lust and only physical desire. Her poem, perhaps is an ironic portrayal of true love. A true love, if it even exists, is very difficult to preserve and can take a different turn especially within the marriage.

When someone as a reader looks at Mel’s situation, it is a totally different kind of love. Education, background, social class comes together and describes Mel’s definition about love. To be specific, Mel is an educated person, and he is a cardiologist. However, Mel sees love as something that can be pass on to someone else, and he doesn’t really understand the concept of real love. There might be another reason for Mel definition’s of love, and the reason is Mel’s first love with his first wife (Marjorie). Mel was in love with Marjorie (Mel first wife), but suddenly everything just collapsed, and he didn’t know what cause the divorce, and what happened to his love. Mel sees love as a “memory not even a memory” (Carver 676), and that is when he started to talk about love at the beginning of the story. Mel thought about love in an educational way not in his own personal way. He defined love based on what he had learned in school and in his educational way not personal way. In my opinion, Mel wanted to do the same thing that Ed did to Terri but in his own way. Mel was more educated than Ed, so he wasn’t going to fight with his

Is it real love if they died and you could move on and fall in love again? All these questions are discussed. Terri defends the fact that although her ex-boyfriend would hit her and drag her that he did in fact love her. In his episodes of abuse, he would say “I love you”. She believes that although it may seem psychotic, “…people are different […]. Sure, sometimes he may have acted crazy. Okay. But he loved me. In his own way maybe, but he loved me.” (Carver 657). Mel is appalled and believes there is no way anyone could consider this love. But I think the message Carver is trying to show is that this ex-boyfriend may have had serious issues and even though Terri was staying with a man that didn’t treat her right but there was something keeping these two together. Even after the man killed himself because of love Terri continued to say that she felt bad for him, showing that the care you feel for a loved one will never disappear. Mel then brings up the point although we can be undeniably in love with someone. there’s a chance we will move on one day and fall in love with someone else. With his ex-wife, he had experienced the kind of love in which everything she did he felt gooey love for until one day he hated everything she did. When he reflects on this he looks at Terri and acknowledges he’s found new love. He tells the story of two elderly people who get into a car

What is true love? True love to me is not just a feeling or an emotion, but it is a choice. It is a choice that you and your partner commit to everyday, and are willing to sacrifice and go above and beyond for one another no matter what the circumstance is. As stated by Seth Adam Smith, in “Real Love Is a Choice”, he too believes that real love is not just a “euphoric, spontaneous feeling—it is a deliberate choice—a plan to love each other for better and worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health”. For instance, this is an example of my parents’ relationship of February, 2003; through the four years of their relationship, they had successfully gone through it without any struggles or obstacles, but as they were approaching their

Throughout the ages, many have tried to comprehend the human experience of love and its ineffable and mysterious force that leads us to complete euphoria or utter despair, with songs, paintings, and stories. In Plato’s Symposium, six guest including Socrates, tackle and attempt to define love amongst each other. With each attempt, and our study of Johns gospel, the intertextuality between the symposium and John 15:8-17 helps one better understand the portrait that John portrays of Jesus as the ultimate lover and only way to being fully complete.