Rudolph the Headsman

Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809–1894)

From “This Is It”

RUDOLPH, professor of the headsman’s trade,

Alike was famous for his arm and blade.

One day a prisoner Justice had to kill

Knelt at the block to test the artist’s skill.

Bare-armed, swart-visaged, gaunt, and shaggy-browed,

Rudolph the headsman rose above the crowd.

His falchion lightened with a sudden gleam,

As the pike’s armor flashes in the stream.

He sheathed his blade; he turned as if to go;

The victim knelt, still waiting for the blow.

“Why strikest not? Perform thy murderous act,”

The prisoner said. (His voice was slightly cracked.)

“Friend, I have struck,” the artist straight replied;

“Wait but one moment, and yourself decide.”

He held his snuff-box,—“Now then, if you please!”

The prisoner sniffed, and, with a crashing sneeze,

Off his head tumbled, bowled along the floor,

Bounced down the steps;—the prisoner said no more.