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Identify the weakness in each sentence, and write an improved version. It is essential that you learn to design spreadsheets that make financial information meaningful to users. There are many online tools available that build relationships with customers. I am submitting an employee testimonial to the company website, which I first posted to a presentation blog. More companies are videoconferencing because of the need to significantly reduce travel costs. To operate efficiently, you must perform periodic maintenance on your computer. Planned store improvements include widening the aisles, improved lighting, and lower shelves for a sophisticated feel.

BuyFind

Bcom

10th Edition
LEHMAN + 1 other
Publisher: Cengage Learning,
ISBN: 9780357026595
BuyFind

Bcom

10th Edition
LEHMAN + 1 other
Publisher: Cengage Learning,
ISBN: 9780357026595

Solutions

Chapter
Section
Chapter GUA, Problem 1E
Textbook Problem

Identify the weakness in each sentence, and write an improved version.

  1. It is essential that you learn to design spreadsheets that make financial information meaningful to users.
  2. There are many online tools available that build relationships with customers.
  3. I am submitting an employee testimonial to the company website, which I first posted to a presentation blog.
  4. More companies are videoconferencing because of the need to significantly reduce travel costs.
  5. To operate efficiently, you must perform periodic maintenance on your computer.
  6. Planned store improvements include widening the aisles, improved lighting, and lower shelves for a sophisticated feel.

Expert Solution
Summary Introduction

1.

To determine:

The weak point in the sentence and to write an improved one.

Introduction:

Concision plays a vital role in making the sentence appear crisp and clear. Often sentences can be meaningful yet sound redundant with unnecessary details, repetition, etc. Concision then helps in keeping the meaning of the sentence intact and yet cut down unimportant ideas.

Answer to Problem 1E

The improved sentence will be: “It is essential that you learn designing spreadsheets to make financial information meaningful to users.”

Explanation of Solution

Given information:

“It is essential that you learn to design spreadsheets that make financial information meaningful to users”.

In this sentence, the meaning is very clear that it is important to learn designing spreadsheets so that the financial information is meaningful to the users. In order to bring conciseness to the sentence, the use of gerund ‘ing’ for design is needed to refer to the action of learning how to design so that the result is ‘meaningful’ to the users.

Thus, compressing the sentence, helps in making it sound crisp and strong.

Expert Solution
Summary Introduction

2.

To determine:

The weak point in the sentence and to write an improved one.

Introduction:

Concision plays a vital role in making the sentence appear crisp and clear. Often sentences can be meaningful yet sound redundant with unnecessary details, repetition, etc. Concision then helps in keeping the meaning of the sentence intact and yet cut down unimportant ideas.

Answer to Problem 1E

The improved sentence will be: “There are many tools available online that build relationships with customers”.

Explanation of Solution

Given information:

There are many online tools available that build relationships with customers.”

In this sentence, the emphasis is put on the wrong noun. The tools are ‘available online’ and the tools are not ‘online’ as stated in the sentence. The meaning is understandable, but the sentence appears weak as it is liable to create confusion and may seem to be logically and grammatically wrong.

Expert Solution
Summary Introduction

3.

To determine:

The weak point in the sentence and to write an improved one.

Introduction:

Concision plays a vital role in making the sentence appear crisp and clear. Often sentences can be meaningful yet sound redundant with unnecessary details, repetition, etc. Concision then helps in keeping the meaning of the sentence intact and yet cut down unimportant ideas.

Explanation of Solution

The improved sentence will be: “I am submitting an employee testimonial to the company website, that I first posted

Expert Solution
Summary Introduction

4.

To determine:

The weak point in the sentence and to write an improved one.

Introduction:

Concision plays a vital role in making the sentence appear crisp and clear. Often sentences can be meaningful yet sound redundant with unnecessary details, repetition, etc. Concision then helps in keeping the meaning of the sentence intact and yet cut down unimportant ideas.

Answer to Problem 1E

The improved sentence will be: “More companies are videoconferencing to significantly reduce travel costs”.

Explanation of Solution

Given information:

“More companies are videoconferencing because of the need to significantly reduce travel costs”.

In this sentence, the videoconferencing is done to serve a purpose, which is to reduce the travel cost. The use of the preposition ‘to’ here already serves as an infinitive and indicates a purpose. The use of ‘because of the need’ is only a repetition of the fact that it is done for a purpose. Therefore, in order to make the sentence concise, the phrase ‘because of the need to’ is deleted without harming the meaning of the sentence.

Expert Solution
Summary Introduction

5.

To determine:

The weak point in the sentence and to write an improved one.

Introduction:

Concision plays a vital role in making the sentence appear crisp and clear. Often sentences can be meaningful yet sound redundant with unnecessary details, repetition, etc. Concision then helps in keeping the meaning of the sentence intact and yet cut down unimportant ideas.

Answer to Problem 1E

The improved sentence will be: “You must perform periodic maintenance for your computer to operate efficiently”.

Explanation of Solution

Given information: “To operate efficiently, you must perform periodic maintenance for your computer”.

In this sentence, the focus is on the frequent maintenance of the computer so that the functioning of the same is proper. The given sentence though means the same can actually create confusion. ‘To operate efficiently, you must perform…’ almost indicates a meaning that the operation of a human is dependent on the periodic maintenance. The adverb ‘efficiently’ is meant for the computer and not the ‘you’ in the sentence. This will make the sentence logically wrong. Thus, the necessary changes are made.

Expert Solution
Summary Introduction

6.

To determine:

The weak point in the sentence and to write an improved one.

Introduction:

Concision plays a vital role in making the sentence appear crisp and clear. Often sentences can be meaningful yet sound redundant with unnecessary details, repetition, etc. Concision then helps in keeping the meaning of the sentence intact and yet cut down unimportant ideas.

Answer to Problem 1E

The improved sentence will be: “For a sophisticated feel, planned store improvements include widening the aisles, improved lighting, and lower shelves”.

Explanation of Solution

Given information:

“Planned store improvements include widening the aisles, improved lighting, and lower shelves for a sophisticated feel”.

In this sentence, the reference is to the ‘sophisticated feel’ that is being aimed at by the stores. The emphasis on the fact gets diverted if it is used at the end of the sentence and hence it needs to be brought forth in the beginning and the actions that are employed to attain it can be mentioned. Hence, in this way the sentence is improved and made clearer.

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