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Change Of Identity In I Am Not Esther By Fleur Beale

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The novel, I am not Esther, written by Fleur Beale follows Kirby Greenland, a fourteen year old girl, who is suddenly abandoned by her mother. Kirby is then forced to live with family members she has never met before in an unfamiliar, religious community with strict rules and regulations. During her time in the community, also considered as a ‘cult’, Kirby faced the challenges of identity change and loss as well as abandonment and isolation. This helped me develop a deep understanding of Kirby and how she undergoes a large character development throughout the text. Firstly, I gained an understanding of Kirby and her character development through how she dealt with her loss and change of identity. When Kirby first entered the community, she is stripped of her belongings and even her name - they give her a new biblical name of ‘Esther’. This made Kirby feel outraged and like her identity had just been attacked. Kirby faces this challenge by reproaching the change instantly. I know this because she says “I’m Kirby, not Esther for God’s sake.” This showed me that Kirby is sure of her identity and would disobey the community to act in a way which is true to herself. However, after spending so much time with unfamiliar people and in an unfamiliar environment, Kirby questions whether she is Kirby or Esther, seeing her two self-consciousness as two separate beings. Kirby is asked by Mrs Fletcher, the guidance counsellor whom she enlisted help from, what she wished to be called. “

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