The Oxygen Thief
The smell of death and sadness lingered over my shoulders lie a monster whispering all my deepest fears in my ears. Tan and navy blue coated the bland walls, the same blank wall my empty eyes stared at while my mother spoke to a doctor. The doctor’s voice was sickening to my core and her words burned like a Californian wildfire. Hearing that my pitiful life would be held captive with other sad souls made my veins go cold and heart go bloodless yet still beating so hard that my body might shatter. This is the story of how my life changed forever; my life spent in a revolving hell fire, constantly being oxygen deprived and burnt beyond recognition. When you look at my life from the outer-shell, it’s not that bad. I
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Only I mistook a smile for as a scowl, my brain convinced me that I was so unwanted that it also convinced me that everyone else felt the same way about me. Depression was like an anchor, slowly tugging me down into the ocean. It 's like swimming one day, then suddenly, I got pulled under into the dark blue lunch crushing water away from everyone else. I could breathe but just enough to survive and every time I tried to swim upwards an anchor is tied to my ankles. I could see everyone else around me and every time I tried to scream only water poured into my mouth so I never spoke. Then one day I could swim upwards just enough to poke my dazed head up above the tide. Then the anchor pulled me down farther than before and no matter how hard I swam, I couldn 't move. Eventually I gave up. I sat there in the water, eyes shut. Ready to stop breathing and just drown. Sitting in a room, behind a mahogany Corloured table with kids circled around it in a swivel chair, I noticed something. The words coming from their mouths were never harsh, they were delicate like a feather landing on a motionless ocean. I wanted to take their actions and make them into mine, I was recovering, the medications I was on were dissolving in my brain. The thoughts I programmed to reoccur in my mind every hour of the day didn’t dissolve as quickly and taunted my ears more than ever. My mind was almost split in half, I was neurotic and beyond reason. Until it happened. I
The book I have chosen for this project is call Diary of an Oxygen Thief by Anonymous. This book is about him hurting girls, and him being hurt by girls (emotionally not physically). He also never says his name, so therefore him is who will be described as the main character. He tells about all the girls he has hurt, and the feeling of need to hurt him while he was drinking. After hurting all these women, and realizing that this also hurt him once they moved on he sobered up, and started getting big in the advistering business. He moves to the United States, for he was staying in London when he was hurting all these girls emotionally. He was living in Michigan, and was sent to New York for a work trip when he met Aisling, the girl he would
The stench of death hit my nostrils as I opened the door to go inside, which is why I always hated going to the hospital. We waited the fifteen minute queue, until I heard my name from a nurse. I followed the nurse into a small, beige room. I sat down on the examining table, as my doctor walked in. I told him my symptoms, and he did a quick check up. His cold fingers pressed against my lower back. “Breathe in and out.” He said. I did as told. “Slower.” he exclaimed. At that moment, while I was slowly breathing in and out, I could hear a small click every time I inhaled. The doctor looked up and said, “Ahhh, you seem to have pneumonia.” He explained to my mom and I what that meant because we were clueless. After he finished, he told us that if I waited any longer to go to the hospital, he wouldn’t be speaking to me, which opened my mom’s eyes finally. He told me that I couldn’t go to school for at least another two weeks, gave me a school note and my prescription. We left the hospital. My mom dropped me off, and went to pick up the medication. As I lay in bed, I remember thinking about everything that has happened to me in the past two days, and what the doctor told me. Those thoughts were interrupted by the opening of my bedroom door as my mom walked in. She handed me the medication. I swallowed the pills, and fell asleep. The next morning my mom walks in with a stack of papers. She said, “It’s alright if you’re not able to attend class,
I walked away feeling like I was a complete failure and that I didn’t deserve to go on. On the way home my mother tried to talk to me, but, I put on my headphones and cried silently. Once we were home my father asked how it went. The tears that were in my eyes and they became more evident as my shoulders and chest were shaking and trembling. The only sound in the room was the sound of me crying and wailing. I started crumbling and falling to the ground and my mother and father rushed to my side. They held me until the tears came to a stop and a little bit afterwards
Alice could feel her pulse pounding in her temples. Her hands were clasped tightly in front of her stomach as she constantly fiddled with her knuckles. She walked down the street yelling as her eyes were narrowed to rigid, cold fire. Alice felt surrounded as they threw rocks and spit on her. She lead a protest for women’s rights that caught the attention of many reporters. “ Women need rights, just like men!” They yelled over and over. A police officer ran over to them and told them to stop and threatened them if they did not stop. As they shackled her, the sadness flowed through her veins and deadened her mind. It was a poison to her spirit, as if a black mist had settled upon her and refused to shift. She felt defeated.
You feel an intense, out-of-the-skin awareness of your living self—your truest self, the human being you want to be and then become by the force of wanting it. In the midst of evil you want to be a good man. You want decency. You want justice and courtesy and human concord, things you never knew you wanted. There is a kind of largeness to it, a kind of godliness. Though it’s odd, you’re never more alive than when you’re almost dead. You recognize what’s valuable. Freshly, as if for the first time, you love what’s best in yourself and in the world, all that might be lost. At the hour of dusk you sit at your foxhole and look out on a wide river turning pinkish red, and at the mountains beyond, and although in the morning you must cross the river and go into the mountains and do terrible things and maybe die, even so, you find yourself studying the fine colors on the river, you feel wonder and awe at the setting of the sun, and you are filled with a hard, aching love for how the world could be and always should be, but now is
I vividly remember that chilly night in March as I walked out of Fifer, the building my father now calls home, for the first time. I had goosebumps, but they were not from the cold I felt hit my skin. Instead, they were from the sickness in my stomach. As I got in the car, I began to cry and had to stop myself from running back inside. My entire world had turned upside-down. How could I go home without my father? How could I leave him in a nursing home, a place where he was too young and mentally fit to be confined? I had to fight the feeling that he didn’t belong. I had to remind myself of why he chose to be there, and I hated it.
My father finally spoke up and said abruptly, we are moving to California. I said what!. That answer moving to California, was almost equal to my uncle telling me "Your Sister Jackie is dead." I knew that my girlfriend, my anchor on earth was disappearing from my life. And now she was gone, 35 days after I lost my sister. My earth angle, I dreamed of being my wife was gone. I felt like I was having a nightmare and couldn't wake up, how could all this be happening to me. Despair sit like a stone in my stomach, like concrete boots dragging me toward what felt like my inevitable end. "I'm not going to make it. "I was in a state of melancholy depression.Laced with a fatal sense of my own wretchedness. I was fourteen years old and felt like I was
A morbid melancholy stole over me. Anxiety gnawed at my heart. I was a living corpse. There was a feeling of chill in the air every day as I felt. I faked illness so as not to go to school. Despair hangs heavy in the stifling air. It was a dreary day for me , cold and without sunshine. I dread people and always avoid people. The door was locked from the inside. A cold grey light crept under the curtains. The windows were secured with locks and bars. The room felt cold and sterile.The flowers faded for want of water. A single lamp was suspended from the ceiling. The clock ticked louder and louder in a quiet room. I regarded the room as a refuge from the outside
There was a thunderous crash, and I instinctively held on to the seat in front of me and closed my eyes. I felt the crash in my bones as I slid to the aisle and the bus split from the sign. The noise of another women, screaming as she feared death, but nothing compared to me, dying before seeing my dear, dear Lily. Tires screeched, and howls of pain dominated my ears, the prickly glass shards fell over me. In just a few seconds it was all over and everything was still. I dared not to open my eyes, my heart threatening to
I crippled down into a pit of confusion and sadness. Although this happened often, it always seemed to hit home hard as the months progressed. I arrived home and tossed myself into the soft comfort of my bed. Curled up into a ball, I tightened and released my grip on my white covers repeatedly, my body slowly dozing in and out of slumber as I watched small ripples in the outdoor pool shine upon my bedroom wall, the moonlight brightening it. Slowly the whispers began developing, and I allowed them. I needed to listen, they crowded my mind and maybe they were all right. So, there I sat in the silence. Jabbled words filled the room, they seemed to be everywhere. Woman, children, and men. I tensed at the words, trying to make out what they were telling me. In the background faint noises played, either from past songs the band and I had developed or ones that just kept coming. Threats or sarcastic remarks, occasional words remembered from my parents or enemies. They kept coming, intensifying by the second, getting louder and louder, until the point where... I snapped. I sat up and screamed into the darkness, pulling at my hair and kicking my feet, as if I were having some kind of a toddler tantrum. My breath quickened and my nose wrinkled, like how it always did when I got worked up. Slowly, and then all at once they stopped. My mind gathered in the silence, and I slammed back down into the pillow, turning my head into it, screaming once more until
There was a strong pungent of disinfectants and rubbing alcohol as she was rushed into the lobby. Crying out her last breath to express her agonizing pain as she lied down on the cold gurney. The nurses in a light blue uniform quickly arrived as several doctors in long white gowns rushed to the scene. Her mother was by her side, holding her hands as tight as she could, as the nurses pushed the agitating gurney towards the automatic doors. Soon her visions blurred and as the world turned into a tint of pink and red. As her vision slowly darkened, she solely relied on the touch of her mother’s warm hand and her soothing voice. Notwithstanding the tight grip of her mother’s hands, they was soon torn apart. Fear took over her body as she cried even louder. The sudden yet rhythmic beep was the last memory she could recall. It was March 5th.
Crumpled newspapers scattered the table like the bones of dead bodies after war. Windows wiped down of memories huddled between oak frames, facing a street with cosy cottages. Single embroidered carpets hugged the floor, covering the marble tiles in delicate silk. A whisper of wind floated in through cracks of the panes of glass, whispering it's songs of misery throughout the house. I breathed in gulps of air, allowing the icy coolness to fill my lungs, and the morning frost creep out. My glistening blue eyes presented purple bags, and my sleek hair was a tangled cobweb. My feet dragged along the stone floor like the walking of the undead. I’d been up all night, searching and seeking for answers.
Mrs. Galb’s mindfulness class was usually boring. However, today was rather interesting because we were discussing everyone’s greatest fears. Most kids were afraid of clowns, spiders, and heights but I was afraid hurting the people I love. The thought of killing my mom, my dad, or my best friend Caroline made me sick to my stomach, even though I knew I was a good person. Mrs. Galb asked the class to imagine what we would do if our largest fear became reality. I was so overwhelmed by the idea of it, that I passed out. I woke up and saw the school nurses circled around me. They asked me what my name was, when I was born, and how many fingers they were holding up. I answered the questions with ease but I still didn’t feel like my normal self. My fingers kept twitching, my body felt heavy, and I heard eerie voices whispering and laughing. I figured it was a mere coincidence until they started talking to me. The voices told me to visit the
My clammy palms clasped the wooden arm of a plush, pink chair. The crisp air of the empty hall sent chills up my spine. Beaming lights engulfed the room. My heart felt dense. I could see my chest compress and decompress with every erratic beat and arrhythmic dance. Nerves jolted through my body. My mother squeezed my skeletal hand as she sat