Relationship Critique
Introduction
All relationships come with problems and happiness but sometimes the problems can be too much to bear. Theorists have come up with theories that you could apply to your relationship that could help the problems you have. The problems I think my boyfriend and I have are listening and our relationship maintenance. I don’t think either of us listen to each other with our full attention. I’ve noticed that when we argue and he says something I try and defend my position without even taking into consideration what he had to say. When it comes to his listening I feel he is always just too preoccupied or mad to even understand what I’m trying to say.
Problems
One relationship I would like to improve is mine and my
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I pay for gas, food, our shoes and clothes. Most of the time it doesn’t bother me. I think feeling needed and helping out, but sometimes it just frustrates me being the only one having to pay for anything. It doesn’t necessarily bother me that I’m the only one paying for it, it bothers me when it’s expected of me by my boyfriend. For example, I went to Las Vegas to visit my mom and he expected me to put gas in the car for him to drive around while I was gone. but, the worst part is that when I get stressed about money he thinks it’s stupid or that I’m obsessed with money. What I don’t think he understands is it’s not that I want the money because it’s money, but I’m worried that we don’t have the money to do or buy the things we need like gas to get to school and back or toilet paper and shampoo and conditioner. I don’t think less of him because he doesn’t help out because I know he can’t without a job I just wish he could understand that I have to be financially responsible and it’s stressful and overwhelming at times. The most difficult thing is that when I try to say something he just doesn’t understand because he’s never had to be in that …show more content…
Social media seems to be a huge problem in many people’s relationships. The reason it’s such a huge problem in our relationship is because on Instagram my boyfriend follows pages of girls in their bra and underwear, bikinis or sometimes nothing but their arms or legs covering their private parts. This bothers me a lot because it makes me feel like I’m not enough. Like the way I look isn’t good enough and that he likes to follow these girls because they’re better to look at. It causes tension because we will sometimes fight about it. I tell him that it bothers me and he always tells me that it’s just instagram and it’s not that important. It’s not that I’m afraid he’s going to cheat or that he might talk to these girls or something. It’s about the way it makes me feel. When I ask him about it he says he doesn’t do it to hurt me, and that he pretty much doesn’t even think about it, he just does it without much thought behind it. Another huge social media account that I feel causes tension is Snapchat. I never thought Snapchat was cool or never even wanted one in the first place. The only reason I have one is because his friend convinced him he should get one and there was no way he was going to have one and I wasn’t. For the most part, I didn’t have a problem with it. He added one girl but after watcher her Snapchat “stories” I realized she wasn’t a problem. She wasn’t his type. Now, he has girls on
When a couple has been together for at least forty years, one may ask them, how have you put up with one person for so long, or what is your secret to marriage? Unfortunately, a secret may not even exist, but learning how to deal with everyday relationship conflicts, maybe the answer to a lasting marriage. “Gottman and Declaire, discovered that couples have conflict over the same issues sixty-nine percent of the time” (1997) (pg.214) Gottman quotes “We need to teach couples that they will never solve most of their problems, and that couples need to” establish a dialogue” about the problems.”(1997) (pg.214) Validating, volatile, and conflict avoiding, are three approaches couples use, when resolving conflict. Gottman studies show how managing conflict could lead to lasting marriages. Communication practices are also important when trying to resolve conflict. Gottman’s Four Horseman of the Apocalypse are “four communication practices that have very negative outcomes for the particular interaction and for the relationship.”(pg.225) Conflicts are going to occur in every relationship, but learning how to communicate with one another is essential.
To understand what the other is thinking and feeling, you need to stop talking and open your mind to what they have to say. Really think about what it is that they are saying. Eventually you’ll understand better and be able to calmly sort things out. There’s a book by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr titled, “The Poet at the Breakfast Table”. In that book he quotes, “It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen”. Are you really listening to the other person in the relationship?
Is your relationship lacking communication? You’re not the only one! There are many people who could benefit from better communication within their relationships. Communication is crucial when living or spending your life with someone. The article,“Sex, Lies, and Conversation” by Dr. Deborah Tannen, touches on three key issues among men and women when it comes to speaking with one another. Lack of communication is the first thing mentioned in Dr. Tannen’s article. Another issue which causes problems among people is body Language. Body language is just as vital as knowing how to speak to your significant other. One other issue the writer touched on was, understanding how the person you’re talking to communicates. When you discover the way
This article tells you what to do in your relationships to replace the destructive habits with more healthy ones. Dr. William Glasser in his book, Getting Together and Staying Together, writes about the Caring Relationship Habits of listening, trusting, supporting, encouraging, respecting, accepting and negotiating differences. These are not as simple as they sound. This month we will look at the first four and I will follow up in December with the final three.
If you have come to a point where you are unable top resolve conflict in your relationship after exploring other avenues then a sensible solution may be save relationship counseling. By seeking advice from a professional relationship counselor who is trained in conflict resolution techniques it is more than likely possible to find the right answers to your problems. Relationship counselors are also called psychotherapists and marriage counselors but their job is the same in save relationship counseling to help couples reach mutually beneficial solutions to any conflicts and issues they are experiencing that are hurting the relationship.
Even if do not a conflict, there can still be some issues; especially when it comes to power. Growing up you learn to not allow your partner to have power over you, but some still do and there is where the conflict comes into place. In order to prevent conflict in a relationship, it’s best to allow Both People In A Relationship To Have Some Power; in which the power is balanced into among two individual. While also including Power is Negotiated, in which individuals give in and bargaining will make decisions with responsibilities. There is no way to really avoid disagreement, but if you know the principles of power, you should know how to handles disputes in
Growing up as the baby of the family, I have always been perceived as incapable; however, over the years I have fought back this stereotype by becoming extremely independent, which has resulted in me despising the fact that I am still financially dependent on my parents. Therefore, I cannot help but cringe every time I ask my parents for money, which is partly because I know every extra dollar is a strain due to expenses rising and their incomes remaining constant.
When it comes to relationship tips for men, advice always seems to start with communication. The key to any successful relationship is open and honest communication, so it is worthy of your attention. A good tip to keep in mind is that nothing is too petty or insignificant to talk about with someone who cares about you. Men often filter thoughts in their minds before deciding what they should say. When you are in a close, intimate setting, try putting everything that pops into your head into words. Maybe a little comment at work last week is still bothering you. Maybe you’ve been missing your family lately. You might think that your significant other won’t care or find these things interesting, but the truth is they probably do. Learning the
In an intimate relationship it is evident that there is a substantial difference between the man’s communication skill versus the woman’s. I became aware of this throughout my experience of Dating . My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. We try to believe that we understand where we are both coming from but I believe our gender differences restricts us from completely understanding . He is very blunt , straight to the point and does not like arguing. I like to talk things through and have a structured conversation where we address all the points . When I’m upset I am not straight forward , sometimes I don't even feel like talking to him. These characteristic often clash because he excepts me to be frank and address
Communication is a part of everyday interactions while relationships can help build trust between two people by interacting. They are important for someone health through mental growth. In general, most Americans tend to favor private relationships to public relationships in relationships people hope to gain acceptances and support from one another. There are many cues that people share in processing our knowledge of relationships. We do not always use verbal cues to communicate with one another, but also to use nonverbal gestures. A person using our understanding of relationship comes from how people cooperate. Relationships are a way two people become connected and build communication skills. I will focus my understanding of relationships
During my youth I had the honor of developing a friendship that would last a lifetime and never diminish no matter what the circumstances may be. I played soccer throughout my entire childhood and little did I know that I would end up meeting one of my best friends at random. My best friends name is Quinton, and our relationship has taken us through our soccer careers, high school, and now attending different universities. During this time our relationship has gone through various stages the six-stage relationship model, including contact, involvement, intimate friendship, and somewhat of a dissolution. Our friendship has been everything I could ever ask for and we have made some amazing memories on our journey
We all know that feeling of resentment that we get when we get on a social media site and see that the person we already aren’t fond of gets that scholarship that we wanted, or the cousin that we see at every family reunion has gotten another piece of expensive jewelry from her boyfriend. This feeling that we get is envy, or more popularly known as one of the seven deadly sins. Envy has been recently brought to the surface as an important topic for researchers to look into. In this article, it talks about the research surge of information being put out there on the different types of envious behaviors. The two types of envy are “malicious” and “benign”. Malicious envy is exactly what it sounds like, it’s when the envious perpetrator has the desire to harm the people that are causing the feelings of resentment. This is
I know from experience that I have become very upset over something my boyfriend had said to me. Sure enough, he thinks that he said nothing, and I am overreacting( which I have a tendency to do). If I would’ve listened more carefully and tried to hear it in his words, I wouldn’t have gotten upset. “It is important to reflect back what you have heard, not by rote, but with your heart” which means “listening deeply, and if you truly care, then what you reflect back to the person who is speaking will not be mechanical. ”(Page, 30) In Gottman’s essay he writes “Your partners negativity is away of emphasizing how strongly your partner feels upon the issue[….]even if you strongly disagree, act as if you agree.”(55) For example: A boyfriend and girlfriend always argue over something
Relationships are the way in which two or more people are connected. The relationships that we make in life are very easy to forge; however they are not so easy to maintain. In the relationships of Biggie and the protagonist in ‘Big World’ and that of Max and Raelene in’ The Turning’ both by Tim Winton, we see relationships forged, and then fall apart very rapidly. Between Biggie and the protagonist we see absolute loyalty resulting in the downfall of the relationship. In ‘The Turning’ a once loving and strong relationship becomes one of violence. Through idiom, simile, colloquial language and irony Winton expresses that relationships are easy to forge but not so easy to maintain.
Relationships impact an employee’s motivation at work based off of their ability to deal with and tolerate the people they work around. This is something I can in-direct reference speak about my own situation, because this is something I am currently going through. So I am an active duty soldier at Fort Carson and I have been here for about 2 years, and been in the Army about 3 years. For my entire 2 years I have been in the same unit, and worked around just about the same group of people since I got stationed here. I really came from the bottom rank-wise because I came here a E-2 and now I am a E-4 and that is, out of the junior enlisted a higher rank. With that rank comes a certain type of respect and understanding that this soldier knows his job, and he is experienced enough to handle his own business for the most part. Being around the same people for so long, you develop relationships to the point where it like, even if you kind of don’t like someone as a person, on a work relationship you respect them because of all the task you’ve completed together and if your slacking then it affects the whole team. So I basically developed good relationships and respect for everyone I worked with, or around. Recently I got moved to a higher position in a different unit where the person I was replacing wasn’t really on top of their job before I got there. Preparing to go to the field for a few days, I made sure all of the communications equipment was good and I was even awarded an