I Don'T Even Bother Editing It Before I Post It And Wait

1674 WordsMay 3, 20177 Pages
I don 't even bother editing it before I post it and wait for the opinions and responses to roll in. A couple minutes pass and the numbers of views start going up. My mind races back to the day that I got the idea to do a blog. I always loved writing and new I wanted to do something that changed my life and people who read my thoughts. It wasn’t an easy journey getting to where I am now, considering that I started from rock bottom. (Flashback) Clutching onto my dresser, I slowly sink to the wall, as tears stream down my face. I don’t bother wiping my eyes but instead let the tears pave a burning path down my cheek and down my chin. Grabbing the nearest mirror I stare at the reflexion tauntingly staring back at me thinking why do I do…show more content…
I keep my back to her, pretending to read. “ You should put them away now, before you forget, I don’t want to come back up here and see the pile growing and then it’s all over your floor.” The teasing tone of her voice is not mistaken. I give a small nod in confirmation. Which it seems to be good enough for her because she leaves. She leaves. Apart of me wanted her to see me like this….broken. I wanted to tell her how much I hate the way I look, but I won’t because I want her to think of me as strong. The daughter she always wanted who’s confident and strong. I Imagine what it was like for her to hold me in her arms for the first time and watch me grow up into a beautiful, smart women, I don’t want her to know that her daughter hates herself and feels worthless. I could never put her through that. This may sound stupid to you, you might be wondering why I’m acting like this and what 's wrong with me. I mean, I’m not abused, I don’t go from one foster home to another, I have never done drugs, and I’ve never been sexualy hurrassed or bullied, so what could possibly be wrong with me you wonder? why do you feel this way? Or you might be thinking that I have no right to feel this way. My answer isn’t huge, there was nothing traumatic that happened to me that caused me to think this way. It’s simple. It’s
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