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It's back again. Yoongi wanted to believe he was getting better, but it's become worse than ever.

Those little invasive thoughts. They're tearing him apart, one by one. They're eating away at his mind.

These days, he can't even bring himself to get out of bed. There is solace in his quiet room, the light peeking out from the curtains of his window, the quiet hum of the ceiling fan. He doesn't want to see the world.

He's safe.

And yet, he is terrified.

Most of the time, being alive was okay. The inflation and deflation of his lungs, reminding him of his own unwanted existence. It was fine.

But now, being alive was painful. It hurt.
The beating of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest.

Yoongi wanted to erase his existence from the …show more content…

He knows it when he finds himself alive after trying countless times to end his own pathetic life.

He knows it more than anything.

Yoongi throws the pistol across the room, the object colliding with the mirror, the shards falling to the floor. He wishes he could destroy himself just as easily.

And he can't breathe. He can't breathe, he feels like he's suffocating. He can't breathe, he can't breathe, he can't breathe.

He lets his body touch the mattress, curling his body against his blanket, raindrops falling from his eyes, his fingers claw against his throat and chest. Everything hurts. He wishes it would just stop hurting.

A hand finds its way in his hair, and the other rubs circles into his back. Above him, an angelic voice whispers soft assurances.

"You're okay, my dear. Everything will be alright. I'm here."

Yoongi hates himself for this. He hates how calm he feels when he's there.

Him. Hoseok.

His breathing settles down. He feels human again. Well, as human as one can be when they can't possibly die.

Slowly, he rises, immediately wrapping his arms around the neck of the other male. He breathes.

"Why- Why can't you just let me die?" His words hang heavy in the air.

It's quiet, so quiet. Yoongi can't stand it.

"It's not your time, remember?"

He nods.

The angel begins to sing a lullaby, one that his mother used to sing when he was

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