Why Guilt Is A Better Than Shame And Humiliation

At preschool age, guilt is a common aspect expressed by children when they do something they know they shouldn’t. Erikson’s theory is initiative versus guilt. By now the child has become convinced that they are a person all their own, discovering who they are as a person. Their emotional development is also a growing awareness of self, which is linked to the ability to feel a wide range of emotions. This allows them to make sense of other people’s reactions and to control their own. After a negative behavior, a child will feel guilt or shame after being told what they did was bad.

Depending on how a person was raised, they either learn from their actions quickly, or slowly learn from their actions by continually repeating them. Some parents have zero tolerance for making a mistake twice. They immediately apply major consequences the first time, so that the child won’t repeat the mistake. The child then grows up to be able to instantly identify mistakes or potential consequences. On the other hand, some parents don’t punish their child. The child eventually has to learn gradually on their own or from

The presence of guilt has been felt by all human beings. As guilt grows in a

“Blame and shame are just concepts that often create a distance between ourselves and others, and work against the eventual establishment of just relationships” (Kelley, 86).

The presence of guilt has been felt by all human beings. As guilt grows in a

The Power of Guilt Imagine living with so much guilt that it takes over every detail of one’s life. In The Kite Runner, The Scarlet Letter, and The Things They Carried, various characters have the feeling of guilt inflicted upon them. Coco Chanel once said, “Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death.” It is clear that guilt can impact one’s life dramatically. It has the ability to create pain, discomfort, regret, and shame.

In the novel Kokoro, Natsume Sōseki uses his character Sensei to represent how guilt can weigh too heavily on a person. Throughout the story, Sensei's interactions with the Narrator, both verbal and nonverbal occurrences, showcase how guilt leads to other negative emotional experiences, such as loneliness and misery. Sensei's internal struggle with guilt shapes the entirety of his adult life and the unfolding of the events in the book. This paper aims to show the implications that Sensei’s guilt has upon his life, especially his relationships with others.

The source of these rude awakenings derived from nightmares about missing homework assignments, arriving late to student council meetings, bombing tests, and several other trivialities. Looking back, it’s all ridiculous. There are far too many reasons why tears should be shed. Forgetting to turn in a homework assignment in my seventh grade math class, however, is not one of them. It took hardships and losses for me to realize that life is short, as cliché as the phrase may be. Every decision I make along with every feeling I express will always result in some effect in my development as a young adult. Allowing negativity to penetrate what should be a peaceful soul was instilling far too much harm. When my grandparents passed away junior year of high school, I had my epiphany: in the end, I’ll be nothing but fertilizer for the earth beneath my feet. My mother explained this all to me after this tragedy. “Jocelyn, every moment your heart is beating is a blessing. One day it will stop; it may be tomorrow or even today. Enjoy what you have right now. Take it one day at a

In order to prove that guilt has the capability to transform itself into psychological and physicals punishment, one must first understand what guilt is, and how it can be perceived and distinguished from other emotions. One of the articles that explains and defines guilt is the article, "Guilt, Shame, and Reparative Behavior: The Effect of Psychological Proximity," by Majid Ghorbani et al. In the article Ghorbani et. al. intricately analyze the differences between shame and guilt saying that guilt. Understanding how easy it is to confuse the two, they first define them in the beginning by using a quote from one of their references, “Ferguson and Stegge 1998.” In the article Ferguson and Stegge state “Guilt is defined as an agitation-based emotion of regretting a wrong action or decision, (qtd. in Guilt, Shame, and Reparative Behavior: The effect of Psychological Proximity, 313). Ferguson and Stegge’s quote is essential because it provides a concrete description when guilt occurs and what emotion type it belongs to. This is also crucial to the claim guilt can manifest into physical and psychological punishment because it gives a definition of guilt and provides a guideline for it. Although Ghorbani et. al. knew what guilt was they still needed to figure out what it looked like. To do this, they

Guilt and shame are stemmed from our morals of which we learn as young children. Children are taught right from wrong, how to think and act from their parents and their environment. When adults or children commit a sin or crime that goes against their morals guilt and shame will take over their emotions taking them into a downhill spiral. “In effect, shame, guilt, embarrassment, and pride function as an emotional moral barometer, providing immediate and salient feedback on our social and moral acceptability.” says Tangney in her manuscript on Moral Emotions and Behavior (Tangney, Self Conscious Emotions: Anticipatory and Consequential Reactions To The Self). Shame and guilt are both self consious emotions.

Discussion:     Guilt is feelings of culpability, especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy. There are negative physiological effects caused by guilt. Guilt can make someone over responsible. They will think that life has to be perfect, and will do everything to try to please everyone. It may make someone over conscientious so that they may neglect their needs to avoid

Guilt can be a reminder of situations we need to come face to face with. It's a

    "You keep lying!" screamed Raskolnikov, no longer able to restrain himself. "You're lying, you damned clown!" And he flung himself on Porfiry, who retired to the doorway, but without a trace of panic. "I understand everything, everything!" He approached Porfiry. "You're lying and taunting me so Ill give myself away-" "You can't give yourself away any more than you have already, Rodion Romanovich, old man. Why, you've gone into a state. Don't shout, I'll call my men, sir!" (Dostoyevsky, 34)

In Uneasy Lies the Head That Wears the Crown: The Link Between Guilt Proneness and Leadership (2012), Dr. Rebecca Schaumberg and Dr. Francis Flynn of Stanford University argue that guilt-proneness is necessary for effective leadership. Applying the trait theory of leadership, their initial motivation was to identify, as many other researchers have, some of the specific characteristics necessary for good leadership. They noted that while positive affectivity is consistently correlated with good leadership, some negative affective traits such as guilt proneness had not been tested for their relationships to leadership ability. Based on previous research which identified guilt as a catalyst of prosocial behavior (Baumeister, Stillwell, & Heatherton, 1994), Schaumberg and Flynn postulated that susceptibility to guilt may incite behaviors corresponding to effective leadership. They supported their hypothesis with three studies consisting of surveys, lab experiments, and archival research. Schaumberg and Flynn’s research was divided into three studies, the results of which challenge perceptions that negative affectivity adversely impacts leadership potential. Their findings also indicate that guilt-prone individuals are more likely to become popular leaders.

Everyone, at some point in their life, has made a mistake. Sometimes we get lucky and only falter a little, making it through the problem relatively intact. Other times, we mess up a lot and have to fix what was damaged over a long period of time. However, the same is true for most, if not all cases—those who make the mistake learn from it. Often times, our failures teach us valuable lessons that we only gained because of the experience we gathered after messing up. I have personally achieved a wealth of knowledge and experience just from all of my own little mishaps, and a few major ones.