A New Generation for Our Family

One night in January, I couldn't sleep and it was 4am and then out of the blue I got a call from my sister.. At first all I had was questions, “What do you mean his organs are shutting down?” And then she said it-- grandpa’s dying. She called telling me that our grandpa, who was battling cancer on and off for eight years,

Everyone hears the word “Cancer” and automatically thinks death? Imagine being told you have cancer a month before Christmas and having to start chemotherapy right away. That was me at age 16 barely a junior in High School, they say high school is supposed to be a great experience. And it was at the beginning which was my freshman and sophomore year. I was that girl athlete with lots of friends who went day by day not caring about my health I would eat lots of junk food and stay up late at night. I come from a Hispanic family single parent my mom and 4 siblings 3 girls and one boy. Two had already gotten married and there was only 3 left at home including me. My mom would work out in the fields so sometimes she 'd come home late, therefore

People tend to usually tremble when hearing the unpleasant word “Cancer”. Imagine being the one diagnosed with this horrible illness. More and more people in today’s society are struck with certain health issues such as diabetes, obesity, heart diseases and many more. Cancer is the at the top of this horrible chain of problems. Based on my experiences, someone that is diagnosed with cancer, does not realize how life can change so rapidly for them. Their whole lifestyle changes and they have a different outlook on life. Not until a person experiences a family member going through cancer, is he/she able to understand how important spending time with family really is.

On May 11th 2013, my grandma passed away due to pancreatic cancer. A little later that year on September 25th, my mom received a call from my aunt in Guam that my dad had passed away in his sleep. Then on May 14th 2014, my grandpa passed from complications of an allergic reaction to a medication. So within a year, I was left to deal with three immediate family deaths, one right after another. Losing such important figures in one’s life could leave someone depressed and unmotivated to move on with their own life and to rise above those challenges is difficult, yet possible. During this time of hardship, I grew discouraged and saddened, but over time I became motivated to set aside these struggles and make a change.

The family composition comprises of a basic family structure including the father, mother, brother, and sister within the household. An example would be my mother, Ernaline Pabatao who was 13 years old in high school, and her siblings were in elementary including Bernadito who was 11 years old, Caroline who was 9 years old, and Ernest who was 7 years old. Her parents, Bernadita was 23 years old and Ernesto was 33 years old at the time. They had eloped when Bernadita was 18 years old and was not able to finish her college studies because Ernesto prevented her to achieve her academic ambitions.

My mother’s side of the family has a history of cancer. My maternal grandmother and great aunt and uncle all died of some form of cancer. My mother, as well as her siblings are at risk for cancer.

It was July 25th, 2003 when the first Ciudadana was born, seven pounds three ounces at 3:28 pm. I was the joy of my parent’s, brother, tias, tios , and primos ( aunt’s, uncle’s, and couisins. I was the one that had a chance, first generation. My parents describe it as an emotional experience. I was my Father’s first child and my moms only girl. It was in that room where history was made for the Mora Hernandez Morales Martinez family. The hardest part is that none of my grandmothers were there to see me growing up, they were at “home”

My mom had to take my uncle Raymond to radiation every day for about 3 months, now she has to take him every three months, which affected her daily routine and how she planned her day. She also takes care of him a lot although he isn’t in the hospital or anything he isn’t very ill yet but from what I know I’m sure he will get sick. My uncle David was in his home when he passed away because he was on hospice, this effected everyone who lived in the house. When my uncle David passed away it was a very emotional time for the whole family, however it was kind of a happy moment as well because we knew he wasn’t suffering any more. My uncle David saw all his brothers and sisters before he passed some say that he was waiting to see them all before he said goodbye which could be true. Every person in a family who loses a family member has to deal with the emotional state of each other, some family members can handle death better than others so they are the strong ones in the situation. Cancer effects the whole family not just the patient.

As the generation of babies born after World War II are known as the baby boomers, my generation will likely still be referred to as the millennials. This is due to many of us being born around the turn of the millennium. However, my generation was also the first to have modern technology interrogated into our academics, vehicles, and all other aspects of our personal lives.

Five years ago in 2012 my Aunt Mary died from cancer. Cancer had consumed her whole body. It started in her liver and spread to different organs and even reached her brain. When she found out she had cancer she was told she only had a few months to live. I had just seen her on a trip we had before we found out she had cancer and that was the last time I saw her.

It all started with our family sitting at the dinner table with my mom crying, holding crumpled up tissues with black streaks of mascara on it. My dad nervous enough to say, “Your mom has stage four breast cancer.” Those words have stuck in my head clear as a bell for the last eight years. Our faces of curiosity soon turned into fear. As an eight year old I didn’t understand a lot of words grownups said, but those burning words were sharp knifes on my throat.

After a while of sitting in my grandparents living room mindlessly playing with my toys I decided to get up. I walked towards the commotion going on in the small hallway connecting the living room to the kitchen. The gathering of people consisted of my mom, dad, grandpa, and grandma. Curious about what was going on I walked over to the group. I reached my mom and looked up to see that her eyes were bloodshot, as if she had been crying. I looked over to my dad and his face, like everyone else's, was grim. During this time I kept hearing one repeating word, cancer. I started to listen more closely to the conversation going on around me because even at the age of seven I knew that cancer was bad news. I listened intently and heard my mom explain how she had colon cancer.

When I turned 11-years-old my whole childhood began to change my life went from being perfect to everything but perfect. One day I came home to hear the news my father, my best friend; my hero was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. Not knowing the struggle my family was about to take on I just began to cry. I had a million things running through my head what’s going to happen? Will everything be okay? Why him? What is going to happen? With all these things rushing through my head all I could do was cry not knowing this was least worse to come.

My dad got diagnosed with prostate cancer in early 2014. It was a hard year for my family, and I still remember it like it was yesterday. Not even in my worst dreams did I ever see my dad having cancer. The man that I looked up to, and loved to pieces had cancer. I was devastated, I remember crying and being afraid that I was going to lose him to an incurable disease that lurked the lives of many.

Today's children and teens are more disrespectful, undisciplined, and irresponsible than ever before. According to dictionary.com, “today”, or the present, is often defined as this decade or the past couple years. Many people believe that this is just a phase that teenagers go through but this is a myth because some don’t grow out of it. This causes not only the children and teens to suffer but also the world. They are the ones who will be making the decisions for the future and no one wants their future in the hands of someone with these characteristics. Raising kids in this generation can be difficult, but raising them in a correct way produces a great reward. Undisciplined, irresponsible, and disrespectful children have become a common problem in today’s world in the last couple years. Many have tried to fix this problem but have failed. I propose that parents change their style of parenting to one of warmth as well as firmness; this is also known as authoritative parenting.