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Acting Self Monologue

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I sit with my hands in face and elbows on my knees. This bed. Doesn't feel like a bed. These tears. Brun my eyes as they fall. And him. Standing on the other half of the room looking at me with why. Why did I do it? Why did I kiss him back? All I can answer to him is I don't know because the truth will crush him harder than a brick.

"Why. Lola. Why." The blonde hair boy with the bloodshot eyes asks ever so quietly but loud enough for me to hear.

I sit with my head down pretending like I didn't hear him.

"LOLA! WHY! WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME!"

I don't know what happened. But I exploded. I stand to my feet rapidly.

"WHAT! WHAT JOSH! WHAT! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER A QUESTION IM STILL ASKING MYSELF!" I break down and fall to my knees. "let me ask you a question. Why don't you love me?" I sit on the floor with tears sting my eyes and I can't bring myself to look at the man who I can't tell them 'I love you' because I'm not 100 percent true that I do. …show more content…

He stops with his hand on the handle.

"I can't answer that. But let me ask you one last question." He looks at me as I stand back to my feet. "Do you still love me?"

I stand there dumbfounded. I didn't know how to answer that question. But I was sick of hurting him. I can't hurt him anymore. So I lie. I tell the biggest lie I've ever told while I'm still hiding the second biggest lie from him.

"Of course, I do." I stare him in the eyes. As I lie straight through his soul.

"I need for you to leave." He opens the door looking down at his feet as of they were the most interesting thing in the

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