Awareness of Parenting Style/Practices and the Effect on Adolescent Identity

According to psychologist Diana Baumrind, there are four different parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved, and authoritative. (p. 339) Authoritarian parenting is a strict form of parenting that demands obedience and respect, but offers little support. Children of authoritarian parents often do not have a healthy relationship with their parents due to the lack of communication. Permissive parents are known as the “cool” parents among adolescents. This parenting style is relaxed and comes with hardly any rules. Permissive parents have a very warm relationship with their child; however, this style is counterproductive in child rearing because they act as a friend instead of a parent who sets boundaries. Uninvolved parenting is the most detrimental to a child’s psychological health. Uninvolved parents are indifferent to their child’s activities, emotional state, and overall well-being. They are neglectful and even reject their children from being a part

Bob Keeshan once said “Parents are the ultimate role models for children. Every word, movement and action has an effect. No other person or outside force has a greater influence on a child than the parent.” In a child’s life, parents are irreplaceable. The method that parents use to raise children would affect their personalities, attitudes, behaviors and actions strongly. Every parent picks their own way, some choose authoritarian parenting, some choose permissive parenting. Authoritarian parenting is the method of strict parents, who have high expectations on their kids, making them work hard, participate in extracurricular activities and punish harshly. In contrast, permissive parenting refers to open-minded parents, do not have a lot of rules or discipline, always motivative and listen to their children. Authoritarian parenting has its own weaknesses and strengths. It is good for education and children will grow stronger due to their parents’ expectations, but it may also damages a child’s mental health and limited their time to learn a variety of skills.

Authoritative parenting is a style common in many households that may lead to a dysfunctional family unit. Apart from the permissive and neglectful parent, authoritative parents want the best out of their children. The idea that authoritative parents want the best out of their child may be too unrealistic in certain family dynamics consequently creating a dysfunctional family. Like the McCandless family, the authoritarian family begins with the head of the household, the commander in chief, typically the “father

• Authoritarian parenting children may have less social competence due to the parent or parents telling the child what to do instead of allowing the child to make a choice. In some cases the demands are to forceful and resulted with the child or children to break down, rebel or run away.

Authoritarian parents normally do not interact with their children in positive ways and usually install fear into the child. Punishment is usually harsh and given without explanation. Children with authoritarian parents are often anxiety- ridden. Studies have shown that these children have lower self- esteem, show high aggressiveness and typically do less well in school. Permissive parenting consists of high nurture and acceptance, but these parents lack structure and control. These parents look at their children as “free spirits” who need space to learn and grow. Permissive parents are usually inconsistent with discipline. Children with permissive parents normally are impulsive and irresponsible. These children also lack any self- control since none was expected (Sclafani 47).

Authoritative parents “set standards, but also give their child choices. They recognize the good things that their child does, but they do not overlook the bad things. These parents are more confident and nurturing. They set standards that their child can meet. Usually, this type of parenting leads to a positive self-image in the child (Black, 2008). Permissive parents “do not control their children, it is more like the other way around. There is no discipline, and the child grows up knowing they can get whatever they want. When the parent does try to discipline, the child doesn't take it seriously. These parents give in easily and avoid confrontation whenever possible” (Black, 2008). In general American parents raise their children to have an individual personality, and to be independent from a very young age. “Firm disciplines are directed toward the infant and these are gradually relaxed as the child grows” (Suzuki, 2000).

Parenting styles have been widely defined by Baumrind into three categories, authoritative, authoritarian and permissive. Parenting styles can be defined as a pattern of attitudes in how parents choose to express and communicate with their children. These styles are categorized based on the level of nurturance, parental control and level of responsiveness (Dwairy, 2004). Authoritative style exhibits high levels of demand, responsiveness and nurturance; authoritarian style exhibits high levels of demand but low levels of responsiveness, permissive style exhibits low levels of demand but high in responsiveness and nurturance (Dwairy, 2004). These parenting styles have been proposed to have a significant impact on a child’s

Authoritarian is only one of three parenting styles that Baumrind details. The other two styles include authoritative and permissive. These two variations in parenting styles were seen in the way my relatives and friends’ parents approached parenting. I observed how the parents of my close friend handled parenting. They maintained control over aspects in my friend’s life like school and chores but allowed the freedom to make decisions in areas of social activities. The most striking difference between my parents and my friend’s is the use of reasoning and the expression of warmth. Her parents provided justification behind their commands and or punishments while maintaining a sense of love and affection. The bond and love that is evident between my friend and her parents is not as strong in the relationship between my parents and me. The style that her parents exhibit is known as authoritative because of their focus on some parental control, use of reasoning and warmth. While on the other hand, my cousins raised their children in a completely different manor using a permissive parenting style. While they provide obvious love and affection towards their children, they fail to exert control and regulations. They did not have any real sense of rules in their household. Their children tend to act and do whatever they wanted with little to no repercussions.

For Erikson (1950) adolescence is a period during which individuals seek to avoid dangers of role diffusion and identity confusion by establishing a sense of personal identity. Individuals have to find answers for two major questions “who am I?” and “what is my place in society?” Identity is a “conscious sense of individual uniqueness” and an “unconscious striving for a continuity of experience” (Erikson, 1968, p. 208).

Three parenting styles will be analyzed, which include authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive parenting. A great example of authoritarian parenting is when a parent demands strict rules be followed, or there will be harsh punishments placed on a child. Conversely, an example of permissive parenting is witnessed when a parent allows a child to do whatever they please, including letting a kid not do their homework, or staying out at night as late as they desire without there being any kind of punishment for doing so. Authoritative parenting can best be seen by a parent having high expectations of their child, but also supporting them along the way or not getting mad when the child ultimately makes a mistake. These three parenting styles perhaps play crucial roles in different ways on the academic success of adolescents, and this study will be centered on these

Major effects on children who were raised under authoritative parents are tends to acquire positive traits compared to authoritarian and permissive parenting style. Positive traits are, (1) children are happier, (2) better emotional regulation skills, (3) good social skills, and (4) they feel appropriate self-control about themselves. Authoritative parenting is known to be the preferred parenting style that puts child into democratic rule without harsh demands or not specified rule (Maccoby, 2016).

Authoritarian parenting style is characterized by parents having high expectations for their children as well as very strict rules that are expected to be followed unconditionally. What is more, according to Baumrind, authoritarian parents "are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation"(Baumrind

The study show that adolescent who raised in authoritative households show higher protective and fewer risk behaviors than the one with non-authoritative families. Other research shown that parenting processes improve children’s adjustment to development of self-regulation and resistance. Integrating research from several studies to inherent limitations that needs to be recognized. Limitation;

In this paper, I will examine how parenting style affects an individuals relationship with his or her children. According to Baumrind, there are four main parenting styles, differentiated on levels of support and expectations. This paper focuses on parents with high support and high expectations,who are known as authoritative parents and those who are supportive with low expectations, who are are permissive. These four different styles of parenting lead to very different developmental outcomes for children in social, academic and emotional domains. However, this model does not fully explain parent-child interactions because it neglects to reference the environmental context of the relationship along with any personal differences in temperament of the child. This context introduces complexity such as personality differences, age of child and marital status of the parents. This is an important topic to investigate because of the impact parenting style can have on developmental outcomes for both the immediate child and for future generations.

“Baumrind (1967, 1971) identified three main styles of parenting”, explains Swartz, de la Rey, Duncan and Townsend (2011:65). The three main styles of parenting are authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting and permissive parenting. Furthermore, each one of these parenting styles is associated with certain outcomes based on the behaviour of the child, the type of relationship that the child has with the parent and even the child’s self-esteem. However, according to a psychological expert Cherry (2015) “developmental psychologists have long been interested in how parents impact child development”. In brief, this might mean that, parents’ actions and behaviour have a huge impact on their child, which may cause the child to adopt the behaviour and make it a habit as they grow to be parents. So, as a parent you should always keep in mind that “your kids watch you for a living. It’s their job, it’s what they do. That’s why it’s so important to try your best to be a good role model”, declares Lehman (n.d.). I will now discuss the authoritarian