Becoming Who I Am

I went to school, except this time with a funny feeling, knowing this was the last time I would ever see any of them. All my friends and other family, I wouldn’t be seeing for a long time. Then the day came. We all woke up early that morning. My mom helped me and my brothers pack our bags and get ready for the flight. As a family we made our way to the airport with a drive that felt like it took a million years. Finally, we reached the airports and I was ready to collapse in a seat and go right to sleep.

On Halloween 2006 while most children were getting ready to go trick or treating, I wasn’t. I was sitting in Lancaster General Hospital waiting room confused on what just happened. I have never wanted to see my father more than I did in that moment. I can remember the day like it was yesterday; there are so many details I can remember that I can’t believe that I can remember. The nurse finally allowed for to see my father for what would seem like 3 seconds. I walked in and scanned the room. My father’s father arms folded looking down trying not to cry. My grandma and grandpa standing at the end of the bed, faces red, soaked with tears. My mom sitting next to him welcoming me into her arms. The look on her face when I walked into the room is still drilled in my head. Her eyes were puffy, her smile she was trying to comfort me with was just not her usual smile. The vibe in the room was depressing, dismal, and heartbroken. As I sat down on her lap, my father manage to muscle up the energy to say hi to me. When I flash back to this moment, I remember him looking pale, almost dead. He was hooked up to what seemed like a million of tubes, and his neck held together by a collar. I was so confused on what had happen. Later, I came to

It was the end of the school year, and I was super excited to go home, jump on the couch and have the snuggly feeling I had last summer. When my dad came home he called me up to his room,

“Mom, please help!” I shouted through the house. Through the eyes of a ten year old getting ready for school, I hear my father gasping for air, I ran to his aid in panic. Discovering him in sweat and discomfort, I watched him in terror clutching his hand so tight in a fist across his chest dissolving in pressure and pain. My mother getting ready for another long day of work and my two older brothers already gone for school, I felt all alone. I acted quickly trying to do as much as a ten year old knew how to but, I soon realized it was out of my hands the body covered in sweat with hands that were clenched a second ago went limp his forehead and gaze felt cold and vanished . I lost my father. I felt helpless as my mother called 911 for help. I laid next to my father and promised that I never want to feel this helpless again.

Today was the last day of school before spring break and already knew what i was going to do. It was a long day today because i was so anxious to leave. The bell rang for the buses and i was the first to leave. I got on the bus and was headed home. Mom and dad were already packing my bags and i couldn't wait to leave. All the bags were packed and that's when we got in the car and headed for the airport to go to Mt. Everest,

I saw, even though you tried to cover my eyes. I heard, even though you tried to block my ears. I felt, even though you pretended there wasn't a reason to. How could I possibly understand what I was seeing and feeling at such a young age? Who was there for me to talk to about it? No one..I had to comprehend so much. I sat behind the door with my back against it, when the screaming began again I closed my eyes this time. I pictured myself in a meadow with the grass being pure green and the sky being pure blue. The sun shined so brightly on my skin and the feeling of warmth comforted me. I could see a man walking up to me, but he was so bright you couldn't see his face. My throat was in a knot and my heart was heavy, but as

I patted him on the head as he layed on his bed, I didn’t want to come to the realization it was the last time I would see him and his smiling face. He had helped me become the person I am today.

Since being adopted, I have continued to try to find more about who I am and what I am supposed to do. Although I have been asked many times when I found out and how it makes me feel, it is still a taboo topic to talk about because of the little information I know. I was admitted to the orphanage after being found at the bottom of a staircase in the middle of a village square. After ten months of being admitted, I was adopted, but I almost did not make it because of a high fever and infection. As a baby, I did not want to hold any medicine that was given to me and because of this, a close family friend had to fly in some Western medicine so that I could have a chance at life. Since then it has been a challenge to find my place in this world

I was sleeping over at a friend’s house when their mom told me that someone wanted to talk to me and handed me a phone. It was the cops and they talked about how they got a call from the neighbor that they heard something going on at my house. The police came in to find my mother's dead body and my dad passed out in his room. I was scared when they came to get me to go and talk to my dad. He was talking about how he had gotten home from work and had no clue where my mother was. Then he went up to his room to take a nap cause at that time he was working nights and then he woke up behind

I remember being on a math class when I received a text saying I was soon going to receive an emergency call. The worst things cross my mind but nothing could ever prepare me to hear what I did. My mother called saying that my sister was under ICU because her former flu had become an odd illness in her lungs. My thoughts immediately went to my father. My younger sister had always been so close to him and I couldn’t even imagine how destroyed he might’ve felt. I was taken to a waiting room at the hospital my sister was in. The moment I arrived, I saw my father pacing back and forth from the bathroom to a chair. He was neither crying or sad but he did seem desperate as if his life was on the verge of being taken away and he was barely holding

April 20 at 6:00 pm, I had just finished cleaning my classroom at work when I looked outside and saw a Rotor-Rooter van in the parking lot. I looked closer, it was my dad’s work van. I was very confused, it was not my dad’s weekend and there were no plans of him coming over, that I knew of. I knew something was wrong, he never just comes and picks me up from work, unless it is his weekend. I hurried up and clocked out. The moment I got into his work van and looked at him, his eyes were bloodshot, watery, and buffy. I asked, “What happened?”

Phillip became really scared. He panicked and did the first thing that came to mind, which was call the cops. The dispatcher immediately sent out a call to the officers, three cars showed up in my driveway with lights and sirens on. Only my father was home though. He had no idea what was going on when he first saw the lights, he became scared. The first words out of their mouths were, “Is your daughter here? Is your daughter okay?”. My father had no idea how to respond, he was confused. The officer repeated the questions, and my father was able to stutter out the words that I was fine. The officer asked him again if I was home, but my father had to respond that I was not home. The next question was the officer asking my father where I was. I was on the east side of Birmingham at a football game with the band, which clearly implied that I was okay. The officer got onto his radio and got in touch with the Student Resource Officer, Guppy, at the game. He immediately came looking for me, but he could only find one of the band directors. So, he had to tell him what was going on so they could pull me out of the stands. Brandon, one of the band directors, found my mother. Brandon had to explain everything to her about what was going on and why Guppy was looking for me. I saw her almost fall to the ground, she immediately started to cry. At which point, I knew something was going on, and it wasn’t not

A few days went by , me and Karen took shifts staying with dad , I did more job searching , with dad out of work for now someone has to provide. Dad was quiet the whole time , watching the TV and barely eating anything. My leg was better as the days passed , I can walk faster , Karen's poor back was pealing with scabs like crazy . It was dad's last day in the hospital , I tried conversations with him , but nothing , I could not resist anymore. “ Dad , are you sure you don't know who could have done this?” He stared into fear ness again not saying a word. “ I'll be back to bring you home tomorrow .” I was walking out the room when he stopped me . “Mark !” I stopped looking at him , in a serious tone voice he looked at me . “ There's something you need to know .” I

With millions of different people in this world, the one thing that separates us from the rest is our identity and who we are as individuals. So that leaves us with the burdensome question, “ Who am I?”, a question that seems effortless yet so difficult. As I search to find an answer to who I am as an individual I have realized that our way of living has become vaguely part of our lives that it is hard to perceive it as our culture. The things that I love and choose to do make me who I am. The music I listen to, my beliefs, and my ways of living exposes my true self more than my race or nationality.

Usually I am sarcastic and blunt in nature, I usually don't hold my tongue back with people because people do deserve the truth and not the sugar coated version of it. Being who I am make it seem like I'm this mean person when I really am not. Sometimes I am not this talkative person because there is a time to talk and a time to just be quiet and listen so I know what is asked of me. Now combining sarcastic, blunt, and not so talkative can make seem like I'm standoffish at times and I know that I can be at times. Those closest to me know that I am the one to tell it like it and know that I'm a listener rather be the one that talks. Even with this perception of me when I participate in clubs and school activities usually people see that this is who and that at times I do have my moments. What this shows about me is that for the most part I am the type of person that rather stay to myself at times and that if you want the truth I'll give it to you, I am a simple person.