Bennett Ward: Why Do Merpeople Need A Detective?

The name’s Ward. Bennett Ward. I’m a detective, and like any typical detective, I wear a funny hat, smoke a pipe, and have a peculiar accent. Unlike other detectives, I live at the bottom of a lake- the Great Lake at Hogwarts. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. Why do merpeople need a detective? Aren’t we all just innocent, adorable sea creatures who just spend their days combing their hair with forks and conversing with seagulls? Sorry to disappoint you, but this isn’t The Little Mermaid. There are plenty of merpeople who commit crimes, and it’s my job to solve them. “Ward,” came the soft voice of my partner, interrupting me from my inner dialogue. “Yes?” I ask, giving her my full attention. Serenity was a quiet mermaid- she rarely talked to …show more content…

I’m on the edge of my seat. “They’re at the bottom of the lake!” she blurts. I fall out of my chair. “That’s not a case!” I exclaim from my spot on the floor. The merlady looks shocked. “Yes it is!” she argues. “Sorry, lady,” I spit as I use my desk to force myself upright. “I only solve mysteries, and it’s only a mystery if a crime’s been committed. Four humans at the bottom of our lake is unusual, yes, but it’s not a crime.” “It is a crime if they’re unconscious and tied up! Furthermore, the man who put them there, well, I don’t think he had a permit.” “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?” I bark. “Serenity, we’ve got to go investigate right away. Where are the humans located?” “Over by Charlie’s Seaweed Farm.” I blink. “Grab my coat, Serenity.” She nods. “Of course they would be in the most frigid part of the lake,” I mutter to myself as I look for my bag. “It’s on the ceiling fan,” Serenity says, pointing up. “How’d it get up there?” I inquire, as I grab it off the fan. “You had a little too much to drink and-” she begins to explain. “Oh, right.” I turn my attention to the merlady, who was watching our exchange with mild interest. “Well, we’re definitely going to check it out, so if you come back tonight, I can give you an …show more content…

From the look in her eye and the way she was standing, it was clear that she wanted me. I almost suggested dinner at my place when I remembered Serenity. It was a hard choice, but I decided that maintaining a positive relationship with my work partner was more important than getting laid. “You could buy me and my assistant a pie,” I suggest. Ida blanches. Clearly my proposition wasn’t the one she was expecting. “Are you sure?” “Yes. Why don’t you pop down to the bakery and pick up a strawberry one for me, and a… well, what type of pie do you want, Serenity?” “Apple.” “Yes, a strawberry one for me and an apple one for Serenity.” “Al-alright,” Ida stutters. She clears her throat and looks as if she wants to say something else, but thinks better of it and leaves. “Thank you,” Serenity says, her voice barely above a whisper. I give a short nod, pleased that I could make the soft spoken girl happy. When the pies are delivered, not by Ida, but by a delivery boy, Serenity beams, and I knew I made the right