“There’s nothing half so pleasant as coming home again.” (Sangster, “Worlds of Quotes”). Veterans experience many feelings and emotions during their tenure in the service, but one of the sweetest feelings is coming home, however one of the worst can be leaving home. So, how can we make the coming home of our soldiers even better and easier? Coming home can be a very emotional time for the soldiers themselves as well as the family. F. Scott states “Its’s a funny thing about coming home. Looks the same, feels the same, smells the same. You realize what has changed is you.” This quote shows what it’s like to return home and notice what has remained constant and what has altered. Also “In a way you are doing things that you have done many times before, but it has become completely foreign to you. When you see your wife she is unfamiliar to you. When you first see her (…) her hair has changed or she has new interests. It kinda feels like a first date (…) (Davis, “How Do Military Veterans Feel When They Return Home from Combat”). Here Davis is trying to describe the effort to fit in again, like changing from a school to another then back to the first; but instead of random people it’s your family. Many things become unknown and many things have switched. From the people you know to who you used to know. Davis also says “When returning home you often don’t mesh well with your family. They do things you don’t understand (…) mostly because they have grown very independent
No one can ever understand a soldier’s experience as they return home from war. On the battle field, they experience tremendous loss. They have returned from a terrible situation and often have difficulties reintegrating into society. Ordinary situations can be a challenge, and family members cannot understand what soldiers have endured. In the short story, “Soldier’s Home”, by Ernest Hemingway, a young man, Krebs, has returned home from war. He returned home to Oklahoma and looks for a simple life. He avoids talking about the war, but the war changed him to be distant and outcast. In, “Soldier’s Home” by Ernest Hemingway, the events of the war have caused Krebs to distance himself from society. He has distanced
To summarize (Kaplow, Layne, Saltztman, Cozza & Pynoos, 2013, p. 322-340) this article looks at how grief through exposure to loss due to combat fights, loss of fellow unit members, or the loss of a service member can affect a service member or military family during deployment and reintegration phases. The article goes on to discuss some of the stresses that can increase due to deployments such as martial conflicts, abuse or neglect, and mental health problems stemming from both spouses or children. More military children function equally as well as their civilian counterparts, except during times of deployment where they experience more emotional and behavioral problems. The article looks at three key areas Separation distress characterized as missing the deceased. Existential/Identity Distress finding meaning or fulfillment, or taking on roles left by the deceased. Circumstance-Related Distress characterized as emotional pain brought on by how the deceased passed. The article furthermore looks into how the age of the military children plays into their separation distress. Followed by their existential/identity Distress may be disrupted by new
But all family members need time to readjust their live style in order to reintegrate that one lost family member back. But issues begin to fly once that member falls into a mental illness, he/she begins to become different then before the war and the family begins not be able to recognize who this new fellow is, either the family or the individual will separate from the other. The separation is due to fear and because there wasn’t any idea of how to reproach each other after the length of war. Some cases are different, like a wounded soldier that no longer has a limb might cause insecurity by the veteran and might make him/her feel as if his/her family might not receive the back because they feel incomplete. Most family issues occur because families don’t know how to confront the situation at hand and tend to hope that in the long run everything will be just okay. According to the United States Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), family members commonly react with avoidance, may enter a stage of depression, and create a sense of anger and guilt. Family members feel the same grind as of the afflicted veteran, and so they respond by devoting themselves entirely to care for that love one but during this process of helping their love ones, they forget about their own needs.
P., Larson, J. C., & Armstrong, L. M. (2017). Facilitating successful reintegration: Attending to the needs of military families. American Journal Of Orthopsychiatry, 87(2), 176-184. doi:10.1037/ort0000201
The recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have been experienced not only on the battlefield but when they return, the war comes home with them. Military service members have to deal with the emotional and physical scars and the multiple civilian
Once a soldier finishes his or her term of war and comes home for good doesn't mean they have truly returned from war. A soldier brings back home nothing but the haunting memories of war. This is the factor that continues to make living with PTSD so overwhelming. Veterans may say, "for me, there was no safe place, even my home" (Phillips, 2014). Insecurity is not the only aspect that overwhelms the mind, many other symptoms of the disease are just as horrific. "I couldn't close my eyes without envisioning the face of my attacker. I suffered horrific flashbacks and nightmares, and four years after the attack I was unable to sleep in my house alone" (Phillips, 2014). in cases like this, the effects of PTSD later find its ways to literally dictate the lives of veterans and many other victims.
Resnik et al. (2012) states that for many combat exposed veterans, the return to civilian life and the reintegration into society can be daunting. Resnik, et al. (2012), states that veterans returning from war zone deployments are often experiencing a feeling of estrangement from their families and communities. New research suggests that these feelings of estrangement are linked to the familial bonding in the military culture (Ahern, Worthen, Masters, Lippman, Ozer & Moos, 2015). Ahern et al. (2015) also determined that while veterans frequently referred to civilian life as “normal”, they no longer perceived civilian life as normal, but
Previously stated were the effects of war service remain a significant part of those who served. But let us not forget the families of veterans are also involved and impacted as well; dealing with changes and facing new challenges. Henry was struggling with not being able to relate to his family aftertime given to his country. “He jumpy and mean… [And] people got to leaving him alone” (580). In the article, “Impact Of Vietnam War Services On Veterans Perceptions Of Family Life”, Charles Hendrix and Lisa Anelli focused on at the ending of toured veterans dealing with PTSD and family satisfaction. This statement within the article was profound and appropriate, “Many Vietnam veterans returned back to their home countries at the end of their tour,
What is the difference between coming home and homecoming? Which one is more relevant to today’s society? The answer to these questions is that coming home is simply an occurrence, whereas a homecoming is a definitive event. We learn from the Odyssey that veterans can experience both of these scenarios in differing contexts. However, in the modern era, coming home and homecoming have become very similar affairs that are blurred together until they are one and the same. This creates the aura of abnormality in the everyday life of the soldier after exiting combat. This strangeness, in turn, can cause a myriad of small struggles or nuances that plague not only the warrior but also those around them. Then throughout the whole process, there is
War is an experience that is difficult to understand and describe. Imagine coming back from war and not having the love, comfort, or support from your loved ones to help you move on with your life. How would one feel in that situation? According to the way Tim O’Brien told the stories of the soldiers in The Things They Carried, they either knew how to cope or didn’t.
While reading the short story on “Soldiers Home", I wasn’t expecting to story to go the way it did. Harold Krebs left home as a fraternity brother wearing the same height and style collar and returned as soldier in a uniform, just being gone two years. Upon his arrival he missed the homecoming that was hosted for the other soldiers that all left together, as he returned back later than expected. Just based on what I have read I gathered that the root cause(s) of alienation were that he lost a lot of interest in everyday life. He became complacent with the basic life reading, sleeping late, waking up, reading and a few other activities. Back home in Oklahoma, nothing seemed to be different, with the exception of the girls growing up. Krebs also
One thing that all military installations offer to families is a mock deployment line. A mock deployment line is a wonderful thing for a child to experience. During a mock deployment line, the child will go through all of the steps their parent does when preparing to deploy. It cannot be stressed enough to parents the importance of informing their children’s caregivers and teachers that a parent will be deploying. Doing so is a vital step in helping the child cope with the upcoming separation. The child’s teacher, once informed of an upcoming deployment will help the child cope by incorporating activities such as reading books where a family member is taking a long trip, or talking with all the children about how they feel and why they feel the way they do into their lesson plans. Parents need to make sure they do not put off telling children of the deployment, letting their children know about the deployment as soon as possible will provide them the opportunity to become involved in preparing for the separation. Children will want to have many conversations with their parents about the deployment; parents need to make sure that they keep the discussions honest, straightforward, and factual (Clash, 2008).
War has tremendous effects on the human mind and impacts all parties involved. Remnants of war can dramatically affect relationships with loved ones and create greater problems ranging from financial problems to psychological damage that has more profound effects on the family infrastructure and its operation. The notion of war produces pressures and strains on the family that is not experienced everyday in the routine family life. Family member who experience PTSD from their service in the military also places unforeseen weights and consequences for the family to carry. There are specific effects distinct to a parent, a spouse, and children when a loved one is serving their country. The relationships between a service men and these family members are transformed with the absence and their reintegration.
Deployment and integration are one the greatest challenges military families and children have to face on a daily basis. When a family member deploys or reintegrates within the entire family, it not only affects the service member but it affects the entire family. Deployment can often lead to families and children, experiencing a negative mental health outcomes and compromised wellbeing. Bello (2015) found that most families and children (80.5% required less than one month to adjust to the return of their deployed parent (Bello, 2015). Accordingly, the families and children are often quick to adjust to having their family member back in the home. Interestingly, discoveries are surprising in light of the fact that when contrasted to another family, the discoveries are definitely unique. Boberiene (2014) found that three out of every four families feel that reintegration after the first three months is the most stressful phase of a deployment (Boberiene, 2014). This is because the family experiences many emotions while the member is away.
Being away at war can be alienating because it puts someone out of their element and isolate them from their home. “‘The thing is,” he wrote, “there’s no place to go. Not just this little town. In general. My life, I mean. It’s almost like I got killed over in Nam … Hard to describe”’(O’Brien 150). When Norman Bowker was at war and before the war he seemed like a normal person with no problems with his mental state. But when he returned home he felt like almost everything about his hometown was different. He felt like no matter what he did he couldn’t feel like he was really back home. All the people he once knew changed and moved on with their lives, he felt like he couldn’t talk to anyone, it was like his home vanished from his world.