Domestic Violence Is Not A Private Matter

surviving, and leaving an abusive relationship is a harder and greater impact to the mind and heart, than to stay and continually get abused. Being abused by the man who once made me laugh, smile and fall in love with, his presents lifted life off my shoulders, made me remember what true happiness felt like and within instants everything changed. I was afraid, and terrified. I blamed myself because of the words he stuck in my head. I felt trapped in his shadow. Even after escaping the physical torture, it was as if he never left. It was never same, he took everything from me. he destroyed every glimps of hsppines he made me lose my

A victim’s mind does not enter into an abusive relationship the same as it, hopefully escapes. Most people are familiar with the honeymoon stage of a new relationship, the excitement, infatuation and methodical self-disclosure that most, if not all people experience and engage in. The gradualism of an abusive relationship is one critical piece of a frightening puzzle.

•1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

The abuse is usually frequent enough that the victim internalizes it. This leaves the victim feeling fearful, insignificant, untrusting, emotionally needy, and unlovable. Survivors of this form of abuse have a hard time understanding why they feel so bad (Munro, K. 2001.).

Females are the most highly affected by domestic abuse according to studies done around the world. Typically aggressive behavior at home is frequently more than simply physical misuse. It involves sexual, enthusiastic, monetary and mental savagery. At first, recognizing the indications of an injurious relationship can be troublesome, particularly if the abuser utilizes inconspicuous strategies to pick up force and control. It is normal for survivors to perceive the start of the misuse as the first run through when the abusers hit them, yet truly the cycle of violence may have begun at an opportune time in the relationship. Culprits have a tendency to fascinate and be exceptionally persuading when applying power and control strategies. People

As a result of physical abuse e.g. bruising, bite marks, burn marks, changes in behaviour, can lead to death in extreme cases.

Physical abuse not only effects a person's current state of mind, but it effects them throughout their life.

They put him in a hospital, locked up tight where he couldn't get to me. Doctors said he was delusional, fixated on me or something. I'd been nice to him, that was my crime but maybe if I was nicer, if I had just been who he wanted me to be then the bad stuff wouldn't have happened.

Domestic abuse often follows a certain pattern and that pattern is an infinite vicious cycle. There are two types of abuse cycle. The name given for the first one this merciless cycle is “The Rejection-Abuse Cycle”(Brown, James, Taylor, 2010, p.280-307), which can be related to social norms. The pattern is separated into four steps; (1) rejection, (2) threat to self, (3) defence against threat, (4) abuse. Rejection happens when the man becomes aware of his partner is rejecting him. Therefore, it triggers the man’s previous experience of being rejected. After feeling rejected, the man will sense a threat to his ego, evoking shame because social norms does not allow men to be rejected by a woman (threat against self). To protect

The Battered Women Syndrome is a series of characteristics in women who are physically and psychologically abused by an important dominant male in their lives. These women learn helplessness and dependency; sometimes these characteristics originate from childhood. According to Dr. Lenore E. Walker, a woman must experience two cycles, before she can be labeled a “battered woman”. The two cycles are called the “cycle of violence”. This cycle leads to the feeling that the abuse will never stop. It almost becomes natural. Sometimes the relationships will be calm, and the abuser will apologize for what happened. This part is called the “honeymoon cycle”, but at other points in the cycle the tension and

The daily struggle trying to leave this man paralyzed me; it was a daily grapple which lasted eight years. Ultimately, I became a drug free junkie and grew an addiction to this man. A man who turned out to be a real live Incubus. This demon of seduction took control over well beyond my dreams. This predator controlled my mind, body, and soul through his abusive ways.

According to statistics found by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Every nine seconds a woman is abused by her husband or intimate partner. At least 1 in every 4 women and 1 in every 9 men have been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in their lifetime. Most often the abuser is one of their own family. Domestic violence is a problem that somehow affects every one of us in this room at some time and is actually the leading cause of injury to women -- more than car accidents, muggings and rapes combined.

Solnit’s says that half a century ago a woman is beaten every nine seconds by an intimate partner or former partner and about three a day are murdered by that category man in the Unites States. (3) When a woman is beaten in a relationship, it is very hard to walk away from it especially in a marriage. From personal experience, even though I wasn’t in a relationship when I was hit for the first time, in my head, I was asking the question “did he really just do this to me?”, my first reaction wasn’t to fight back, I was so in shock I just stood there and didn’t do anything but cry. I can't imagine if it was my husband because more thoughts would have been in my head, like “Why would he do this if he loved me?”, or “He must have been already

     There are various forms of emotional abuse but they all contribute to the victim as feeling helpless and inability. One form of emotional abuse is verbal dominance. Meaning the victims opinions, feelings and thoughts carry no weight and are pretty much meaningless. A second form of emotional abuse is isolation, this occurs when the abuser limits the victims access to money, use of the car and other normal activities. The abuser also talks negatively about friends and family making it uncomfortable to maintain outside relationships. A third form of emotional abuse is guilt, this occurs when the abuser blames the spouse for his/her assaultive behavior with rationale, after a period of time the spouse blames self for the battering. A fourth form is fear; the abuser threatens harm to spouse, family or friends in order to stay in control of a situation. Finally a fifth form of spousal abuse is humiliation, this is when the abuser may put down the spouse in front of children, family and friends. (Wallace)

In America most cases of Domestic Violence are never actually reported, many times these cases go unheard and the victims suffer in silence. The worn out cries of a battered woman as she lays on the ground clutching herself and begging her significant other to just stop. The bruises and cuts that remain unreported due to the victim claiming they accidentally fell yet again. The abusers tend to make the victim almost entirely dependable on them. An abuser will do this to gain control and to create a weaker victim, “behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other” (Par. 1, Definition). Control. The abuser seeks control over their victims. When their control is threatened they act out in ways harmful to others. Domestic