Byron Colbert
PSY-100
5/28/16
Kevin Salcido
Elisabeth Kubler Ross was a psychiatrist and revolutionizes how people view death and dying. She would listen to dying patients a give them a public form. She came up with five stages of grief. They stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are used universally.
In the first stage that I will discuss is denial. In this stage people may deny the reality of the situation by blocking out the words and hiding from the facts ("5 Stages of Loss & Grief | Psych Central," n.d.-a). For instance, someone could be diagnosed with some form of cancer. That person may not want to know because it might overwhelm them. So they would not want to know the reality of
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You may also probably want to be isolated and have little to no contact with anyone. And the final stage is acceptance. In this stage it where people are ready to move on and preparing themselves to be without that person (C, n.d.-b). Or have calmness about them. Sometimes terminally ill people show acceptance by putting up a strong front through adversity. For example, Craig Sage who is a sideline reporter for the television network TNT has been diagnosed with leukemia cancer and has been given 3-6 months to live. He is determined to work despite his prognosis and fight to stay alive. In the Latino death rituals are influenced by their catholic beliefs. They have a continuing relationship with the dead through prayer and visits to the grave. Grief can be expressed by crying. Women are allowed to wail while men are not to a lot of emotion. Death for Mexicans in Mexico has more understanding of death because the country is religious, real, poor, and young. Death is shown by statues, art, literature, and history portray death. Mexican children start at an early age to accept death. Mexicans and Latinos celebrate “Dia de los Muertos (day of the dead) to remember and honor the dead Lobar, Youngblut, & Brooten, 2006, p. xx-a)
. Black Americans can have different emotions from crying to being silent. People usually gather in large gatherings to pay respect. Black Americans have a belief that death is God’s will and the deceased is in God’s hand and will be reunited
These five stages consist of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. When it comes to losing a special someone in life due to death,
Russell Friedman is an author and executive director of the Grief Recovery Institute. He has helped thousands with a support group that he started with John W. James. He also has been seen on CNN as the go-to grief recovery person. Furthermore, he believes that there is no such thing as the 5 stages of grief. In his article, No Stage of Grief, Friedman explains that Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ theory was never proven. It stayed a theory. He also explains that there are people who still grieve their loved ones and that they never forgot or accepted the fact that their loved one has died. Media has shaped the way we think and whenever something happens in the world, the media brings Ross’ theory and plays on it as if it is how everyone grieves. Since the theory played such a prominent role in college level courses, those same students who came up to be therapists, psychiatrists etc. brought what they were taught with them and used it in their life.
I would say there were a few class discussions that I personally connected to, but it is easier to write about it than talk about it in class for me. Our in-class writing 12 I specifically connected with number one which states “Our suffering is not unique but is shared by millions and trillions of other beings, animal as well as human. We find out that we have cancer, and we breathe in the fear, the disbelief, the pain of all cancer patients and send relief to all. We lose someone dear to us, and it connects to everyone who is overcome with grief. We lie awake with insomnia, and it links us to countless others who are lying awake. On the spot, we breathe in our sleeplessness and the sleeplessness of others, breathe in our anxiety, our agitation, and the same discomfort felt by others. On the spot, we send out restfulness, peace of mind, contentment” (p. 81). I feel I struggle with this personally because I am a very closed person and do not like to share my suffering or grief. I have to face though it isn’t my decision because I cannot stop people from suffering the same events that I suffer in my life, it is all out of our hands and allows us to form much deeper connections without knowing. I believe I most struggle with my grief in the loss of my father, which I know I am not the only one to lose my father in the world, but it is hard for me to think that as I write this paper right now another little girl could be losing her dad. Not only do you share suffering with complete strangers, but you share it with your closest friends and family the most without thinking about it. In the book it states, “The word tonglen is Tibetan for “sending and receiving”.” This makes me think of the willingness to share/send our grief and the willingness of others to take/receive it and help us through it or vice versa for us to take someone’s grief/suffering and help them through it even if you may be suffering as well. If we do not try to face our suffering on our own, I believe it could help lessen it and possible help you to overcome it by allowing others to help you, but nevertheless if you overcome this obstacle there will always be another one to face in the future.
In the final emotional stage that a dying person may experience near the end of their life is the stage of acceptance. During this stage, the dying person has come to terms that they will die soon but instead of being sad, they are contempt and accepting of death as a normal part of life. Not everyone dying will go through the same stages in the same manner but medical personnel and caregivers need to understand that they need to respect and care with the dying people to give the dying people the best at the end of their life.
In the work On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler, they describe the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. If we were to follow these stages, Liesel has already completed all five. Liesel has accepted her brother’s death and can move on from it. George, on the other hand, is seemingly stuck and can’t seem to find any way out of his misery, or any way to accept his partner’s death and move
The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (Axelrod, 2017). She stated that
The symptoms of grief can be understood as attempts to search for and regain something
Grief is experience in five stages denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Denial is the way to tell them that this grief being felt is not even happening now. Anger is another factor of grief that cause people to lash out at others for their own emotional state. Bargaining is when a person states what if things were down differently to possible yield a different outcome. Depression is when people are sad, regretful, quiet and needing a hug. Finally, acceptance allowing the grief to take over and coming to grips with reality. Experiencing grief is not what we plan on, but we will all experience it eventually. Especially when it comes to losing a parent. All these stages are present, with the question of why lord, why now, take someone else who is not deserving, cry, mad, isolation and then acceptance. This person is needed and love by so many to be taken at the moment when they are needed, but it is Gods will.
The stages of mourning and grief are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life. Mourning occurs in response to an individual’s own terminal illness or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. There are five stages of normal grief that were first proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying.”
The loss of a significant other is one of the most dramatic events a person can experience in this life. Even so, the passing of loved ones is a natural part of the life process. Despite our understanding of this reality, when a part of our life is lost, it may be difficult to move on.
One ineffective practice of grieving is avoidance. Once told that a loved one is dying, numerous people have started a new trend of avoiding their dying loved one altogether. This is an extremely vain method of grieving. On one hand, this allows the person to remember who their loved one was and not remember them as the fragile form before them. Nevertheless, the person never gets to say goodbye and is left with feeling of regret and
Denial is one coping mechanism that can be used to comprehend particularly painful information during the grieving process. Brock, Gurekas & Deom (1993) state that denial is a coping mechanism used to protect the ego from overwhelming realities or perceptions. The individual becomes incapable of accepting or believing the information they are receiving. Denial can present itself in various ways and is very unique to each person. Brock, Gurekas & Deom (1993) list different manifestations of denial, which include but are not limited to, not openly communicating about the stressor, denying ever knowing about the stressor, stating the stressor is gone, or using euphemisms to avoid acknowledgment of stressor. These forms of denial are methods the mind can use as protection from painful information.
There are many things I have come to know in the last 10 months of my life. In late January of 2017, I experienced great personal loss of a loved one. Consequently, I did not expect this loss to lead me through the five stages of grief. I can say now, I believe I am in the stage of acceptance and with acceptance, comes the acknowledgement I did not handle each stage adequately and appropriately. Reflecting upon this experience, somewhere along the way of dealing with grief, I lost my footing and perspective. I am sorry for the pain I caused my family and friends, the shame I brought upon myself, and for my behavior, which did not reflect positively on the Des Monies University community.
In the final stages of life-limiting illness, it can become evident that in spite of the best care, attention, and treatment, your loved one is approaching the end of his or her life. The patient 's care continues, although the focus shifts to making the patient as comfortable as possible. Depending on the nature of the illness and the patient’s circumstances, this final stage period may last from a matter of weeks or months to several years. During this time, palliative care measures can provide the patient with medication and treatments to control pain and other symptoms, such as constipation, nausea, or shortness of breath.
Unfortunately, it is almost inevitable that everyone will experience loss in their life and although everyone copes differently, the five stages of grief are constant in everyone. Five intricate stages of normal grief, that do not necessarily occur in any specific order include: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.