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I Was The Most Important Part Of It

Decent Essays

There are times when finding the things to say here, comes naturally. There are times where the words seem to flow into my fingers and onto the screen without me having to give them much thought at all. It’s funny how those times are never when I need them the most. My last entry here, I claimed was the hardest, but the reality of it all is that I missed the most important part of it… and I am sorry. I thought honestly that what I posted before covered what needed to be covered to satisfy the assigned topic. I was wrong. It is my own fault I suppose. I did not really ask for any clarification to what it was that Master wanted from me for the assignment. I truly thought that I understood what he wanted from me. I can admit that I was wrong …show more content…

I know that a large part of my devotion to Master stems from my emotions towards him. But I want to separate the emotional from the rational here, but I am a person that’s rationalizations stem from how I feel on an emotional level. I know that Master knows how I feel on all of this. I know that Master already knows what I would say from an emotional standpoint—the reasons I would give from that perspective of this all. So I will try very hard to stay away from the emotional part of my opinion on all of this, but I know that it will be brought up a time or two because of what I just stated about how close emotion and rational sit for me.
I know that I have hurt Master. I know that I have betrayed him. And I am sorry beyond words. I know that no matter how many times I say sorry it will never be enough. I know that how sorry I am will never matter—but that does not make me less sorry for what I did and what had happened between us. Even though I know that nothing I do will ever make this right, I will try every day to prove that I am sorry and that I am trying my hardest. My devotion to Master goes beyond any level of devotion I had ever experienced in the past (and I did not think that was possible until I entered the mindset of a slave.) Before all this, I thought I was devoted to him at the highest level I could be, but I also believed myself to be independent (which I now see that I am not).
To look back on things that were said here previously would be

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