Is Marriage A Two Way Street?

“Domestic violence or abuse is about control” (Pisarra), the abuser has complete control over the victim this is the most abundant reason why it’s hard for a person to leave an abusive relationship. Both emotional and psychological factors keep the victim tied to the abuser. Sometimes situational realities, such as a lack of money, and lack of resources keep the victim from leaving. The reasons for staying in an abusive relationship will vary from one victim to the next, but they usually involve several factors.

God created marriage as a union between man and woman. A woman, while still having a mind of her own and control over her own life, is under the authority of her husband. This frightens some women, who fear oppression at the hands of their husbands. While it is true that some men abuse the system that God set up for man and woman, not all men act as such. The Bible states monogamy is what God laid down as a foundational law of marriage,

There comes a point in everyone’s life that this question or subject is brought up - “Are you dating anyone?” “When are you guys getting married?” When these questions are asked from family and friends, it pressures people into finding that special one. Even though, people do experience those desires and questions for themselves; does it make it right to feel that need? What is marriage? Is marriage a contract or love? What if marriage is not what people perceive it to be? What if marriage is not the happily ever after often seen in the movies? Laurie Essig and Lynn Owens are two scholars that wrote a piece entitled, What If Marriage Is Bad for Us? that contended the institution purpose of marriage is obsolete and in reality bad for society, and how marriage can lead to changed, unhealthy, and distressed.

In the play Tartuffe, Molière portrays marriage in a unique way. He expresses a different perspective on marriage that most people would disagree with. In the play, marriage never seems to base around love but rather seems to be a very serious part of their life. Mariane submits to her father because during this time period the father was able to choose whom his daughter would marry. This submission is not based on love but rather who her father enjoys the best. It puts a great deal of pressure on the father to make the right decision. Marriage to Tartuffe would have caused Mariane a lifetime of discontent and it would have also associated the

Have you ever been in a situation where you tried to control someone to get your way but the complete opposite happens. A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare, is an example of control because each character tries to gain control to get what they want. One of the characters in the play is Egeus who tries to control his daughter, Hermia, into marrying Demetrius but she doesn’t love him, she loves Lysander. He is to blame, because he is the reason why this whole conflict even began. Due to this I believe that the case is made that it is not possible to control others.

Growing up children are surrounded with a fairy tale life, the ‘happily ever after.’ As girls we are supposed to wait for our prince charming and he will love us forever; and for boys it is finding and rescuing a beautiful princess who can cook, clean, and is loved by all creatures. That is what marriage is based off of as a child, but that perspective changes once we get a small grasp of the concept of love and we really see what marriage is. Marriage is not something anyone goes into lightly and maybe our expectations of the fairy tale life are why divorce is so commonly sought.

Sometimes having control can go another way which could be happiness. The play A midsummer night’s dream is a example of this like how Hippolyta and Theseus both take control in confessing their love to each other and that leads to them getting married. “‘Now, fair Hippolyta, Our nuptial hour draws on apace. Four happy days bring in another moon’”. (I.i.1-3) You can tell by reading this quote that there is happiness in their voice and happiness by tracking the days till their wedding. This is how gaining control can lead to happiness by two people’s love for eachother like Theseus and Hippolyta. Also in the movie She’s the man at the end Viola tells the truth and they all forgive each other which makes everybody happy.

Marriage, a lifelong commitment, can lead to misery if not taken seriously. “Somebody had to stay and care for the folks. There warn't ever anybody

Being in an unhealthy marriage does not only mentally drain you but also emotionally. Kingsolver compares an unhealthy marriage to “a slow asphyxiation” and to feeling lonely (67). She uses this comparison to emphasize the fact that sometimes marriage can end up killing you slowly. You feel like you cannot be yourself and more importantly you are not happy. Feeling like you are losing your breath slowly is an unpleasant feeling. You feel desperate for some kind of alleviation. Kingsolver states, “disassembling a marriage in these circumstances is as much fun as amputating your own gangrenous leg” (68). A “gangrenous leg” has no fix, and so does a “nonfunctioning marriage” (Kingsolver 67-68). It is better to cut off something that is no good. It is worse suffering through the pain and letting things get worse. Once you cut off what is making you unhappy you feel

My views on how marriage should be are pretty open, but also kinda set in stone, for it to be a strong marriage there needs to be communication, affection, and determination. Communication is very hard to do sometimes, but if you have the skills, then it will help tremendously. If you do not have any, it could all fall apart in an instant. Plus, when you have the correct communication, then you know you can talk about serious things and not be afraid to talk to your spouse. Even when people mess up they can feel better about it by talking and fixing the situation rather than not with their partner.

When people think of marriage they think of this happily ever after story but in reality marriage isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. Marriage doesn’t always end like how it does in the movies. There is so much work that is put into a marriage as in being faithful, loyal, and honest.. Communication is key to any relationship or marriage. Marriage is not 50/20, one person can not put in all the effort into a marriage for it to be successful.

There are several different types of domestic violence that affect people today. According to “justice.gov” (2014), domestic violence is a way for one partner to control the other partner. This control can be done sexually, physically, emotionally, economically, and psychologically. Any actions that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure or wound someone is a form of control and domestic violence. This gives us an understanding of what acts and intentions are a part of domestic violence and that it is not just physical abuse alone.

In a relationship it is very damaging and unhealthy to be controlling and wanting to be the one in charge all the time. Most of the time it is the women who want the control. Wuthering Heights and The Tragedy of Macbeth both have women that get the men to do exactly what they want.Women are very controlling.

“John laughs at me, of course, but one expects that in marriage,” (Stetson 647). Marriage is often thought of as a joyous union between two people, but often times, that union can turn sour and create a situation in which one person has control over the other and creates an oppressive nightmare that pushes the other to the brink of madness. Charlotte Perkins Stetson perfectly illustrates this push to madness perfectly in her short story: The Yellow Wallpaper. A story in which a woman, after being locked up in a room to “recover” from Postpartum Depression by her husband, finds herself descending into madness from the lack of freedom and stimulation, and even finds patterns and shapes of women in the wallpaper. This progresses to the point where

According to The National Domestic Violence Hotline, the abused stay in domestic relationships due to fear, embarrassment, low self-esteem, love, and believing that the abuse is normal. For me, these are all true.