I find it difficult for me to talk to you out loud, therefore I chose to write this letter. These last five years have been difficult for me, it may not seem like it to you, but it has for me. You make me feel less important and like a small child who has no right to do anything. There is no trust between us. I feel like I can’t tell you anything without being judged and yelled at. I am terrified of what you think of me. I am terrified that you think this letter is nothing more than a joke and that you won’t take me seriously, so please don’t yell at me after reading this because it makes me feel more like crap. I understand sometimes I mess up and I don’t mean too, but you also never give me the benefit of the doubt. You jump to quick conclusions
Well, here it is, babe. A surprise letter, written in horrid handwriting, now in your hands. Boy do I not like my handwriting, especially now when my girlfriend will be reading it, But like you said, you have a slacker as a boyfriend so dont expect this mess to change any time soon (I kid, babe). Now, I didn’t write to you to complain about my writing. This past week was hard. i saw you struggle with depression and it hurt. It hurt watching you cry. So, with somewhat renewed enthusiasm to make you smile, here are a few reasons I think you are strong.
With this letter, I also need to tell you to please take a moment to let go your worsts moments, the awful people, the toxic family members, the humiliation, the isolation, the blood, the hospitals, the agony. You're free now, let me take care of all that for you.
I am writing this letter because I find is easier for me to write down my feelings and thoughts. Baba I try to please you by being more like you but i'm never successful to please you. Since Baba you like soccer i try my hardest to like it too, you never show me love or affection nothing near as much as you show towards Hassan even though i'm your son not him. I just want some attention i'm trying my best so you'd be proud of me. Im very good at poetry and reading but i'm scared that you'll see these as another reason not to give me your affection because it's not a manly pursuit. Hassan's birthday was today and you were kind enough to bring him a plastic surgeon to help fix his lip. All i'm asking for is a reason why you don't love me as
I would like you to know that I could’ve changed how I acted back home if you gave me the chance, if you let me show you. But, it is too late now what’s done is done, no going back. Also I am not immature like you think I am I just don’t like going to school, I think it is a waste of time when I could practice poker and make a living off of it. I’m not sure if this letter will ever reach you but if it does I wish you good luck living on your own now that i’m not around to help.
How have you been? I hope life is going well. How is mom doing? Are you and her eating and sleeping well? I want to be very honest in this letter. Please do not tell mother what I am about to tell you. I don’t want to worry her. I don’t want to worry you too but you’re stronger than mom. What I am about to tell you please take it into consideration but also don’t worry as much.
I am so sorry that you have to go through all this. As I was reading your letter I saw that you did not want to show any of your “pain” and or shout to Margot, Van Daan, Dussel and dad, I do not think that is the best of your ideas I feel that they should know how you feel. And tell them everything that they caused for you. Even if they do scream all the more. You shouldn't just go by how they feel about you when your quiet or when you talk. Honestly, I think they are just jealous of you. But there's something I have never told anyone but since I feel all of your pain.I haven't told anyone Ever. I feel that I can finally tell you what happened when I “disappeared” last year. Well, I never disappeared I was on a trip to California, well I had just gotten a job at a
I know I shouldn’t be writing you letters, but I can’t seem to help myself. Regardless of our past, your past, I still can’t say that I never loved you.
Dear Abby, I am writing this letter for the things I can't make up, but wishing so badly I could. As we both know, no amount of words on this page can take away from the damage or hurt I caused but I wanted to start somewhere. I broke your heart and tore it into a million pieces, broke you down to a low point where you didn't feel loved or appreciated anymore. You loved me with all of your heart and I just took it for granted and threw it all back in your face, you trusted me more than anyone else before and now your level of trust is at an all time low, because of me. Yes, I still love you with every vein in my body and knowing you're hurt and in pieces over what I did fucking kills me, I've been such a let down and I regret it more than anything
Hello mom, it's been months since we last spoke. I figured this letter would be a good way to let you know how I am. My therapist also thinks it's a good, in a way it helps me deal with my emotions. It pains me that I have not seen the whole family in a long time, I miss them a lot. The matter-of-factness is that our last conversation didn't go over as well as it should have. I apologize for yelling.
I loved you more than I loved myself. Not even, I was in love with you, and you broke my heart by breaking it off between us without even blinking an eye. When I called you on the phone a couple hours later, you sounded like you absolutely hated me, and that hurt even more. (Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m not trying to sound like a victim. I’m sure you hurt or were hurting too.) We used to talk just about everyday for the past year or so. Not talking to you everyday is so strange. I don’t know what to do with myself half the time. Whenever something happens - whether good or bad - and want to run to tell you about it. I didn’t only lose my boyfriend, I also lost my real best friend, and my first real, true love. I really thought you were the one. After all, we were talking about going on a mini vacation by ourselves in the summer. You were supposed to come to my Abuela’s wedding and spend your 20th birthday with
I feel honoured to get your letter and found the information you shared with me very important. I’m writing this letter to You because I have a couple things from the letter that really stuck with me and a couple questions for You. First of all, I find it very important that you see what I could be. Right now, I don’t really know what I want to do with my life and knowing that you see the potential I have, gives me hope for the future. I want to keep working toward what I could become. Also, I know that you give me challenges because you want me to improve and work through problems, but sometimes there's too many challenges. I get overwhelmed with all the obstacles I have to face and don’t always want there to be a hurdle
I was obsessed emotionally with finding you and making you safe. I knew you hated me but all I could think of is how much I love you and the primordial desire I had to reach into the river or gulf and bring you home to your life. I personally have been unable to focus on even the basics of my life without the shame I am experiencing and the continuous interruption of thought due to my feeling of humiliation, guilt, and remorse. This is the last letter I will write as part of my addiction program. It is the last because it is the hardest for me to understand. Trying to understand how I could love someone so much and treat her so poorly is a concept that I fight to come to terms. I believe I have been a good parent to you but I simple do not understand my decompensating. My therapist tells me this is all part of family, alcoholism and stress and the motto of the lessons are ?the best apology is changed behavior?. I however will always question where my anger arises from and have vowed to fight a better battle with tools other than alcohol. As I close these thoughts I want you to know that my stress, behavior, and argument with you has nothing to do with what developed
I am writing this letter as an apology for my misunderstanding and ignorance towards your parental judgment in the past. Throughout my younger years, I assumed the worst of your intentions and buried each instruction with frustration and negligence. With the daily directive to practice piano, you pushed me into the most dreadful moment of my life. As such, I figured the worst and assumed that you were forcing me to commit with no respect towards my feelings. However, I have learned these years that your judgment was simply misguided, not malicious. I believe that, as a mother, your decisions were difficult to make and that, regardless of what I felt, you chose the best for me. I assumed you hated me. I now know you made the choices to the best of your abilities. You wanted me to continue piano because it is a
I am writing you this letter because I want to apology for my behavior the other night. I know I acted badly in the bar by bringing up all the women you run with and that I left you some messages on your phone that were inappropriate and there was no excuse for it and it’s probably too many times too late but I’m sorry. I will take responsibility for my action in all of this but that doesn’t go without saying you aren’t at fault as well. I have tried so many times over the years to talk to you about certain things to avoid confrontation with you especially when I was straight only to be dismissed or misunderstood because you didn’t want to talk about it or you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m going to lay it all on the line in this letter which might have no merit but at