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Monologue About A Wife

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Dr. Cary, Lisa and Jeremy, This is the story of Ben and why I consider myself as, “refurbished” and see if I hit the bulls eye as well. I have only ever asked for help from one person, the person I love and want to marry. You three have been my, “strategically” placed rocks that I latched on to when I needed someone the most and was drowning in my own river of fear, uncertainty and insecurities. I only broke completely down in front of Jeremy the day I laid my head on his lap and asked for new shoes and a vacation, knowing he was the love of my life and always would be and he’d call in more support than I already had but couldn’t see and do whatever was needed to help me, seeing me in the shape I was in. This “team” that was already …show more content…

I believe you were a project manager in this.. if not the ring leader. I guess you saw the good in me and from what I’d been through and carried around and my own “sheltered” upbringing everyone realized I had a good heart and head I was simply letting others and substances control both and started being “Unable to deal” which boils down to control of my choices and accountability. Once they realized I’d need to be tossed up a level, they removed the only structure I had know as a road block (a JOB). Working since I was 16 it was a hard blow not having that. More support was brought in and as soon as it left I tripped and feel back down into this damn cycle again. In the meantime, Jeremy was trying to love me and I loved him but knew I had to much shit on my plate for a partner to deal with if I couldn’t myself. So I ran away (in circles) not knowing how to ask for help or “deal”. Why I was hired at Nurses Registry and enjoyed it at first, then temptation of my cycle came back and I fell right into it again with the same three things, pot, grinder and boo’s. Finally everyone realized my family was also smothering the shit out of me... while my support team was trying to help, so it created a paranoia in me and I didn’t trust anyone but

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