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Movie Essay: The Murder Of The Mayor

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A former cop gets entangled with the murder of the Mayor and the Mayor’s secretary. STORY COMMENTS PREY presents as a mystery thriller. The opening with the murder of the Mayor sets the tone. It’s a gruesome, violent world. However, what really captures the interest of the audience is the mysterious woman who leaves her raincoat and a package with the protagonist, Jude Stevens. The idea that the woman disappears is a smart story choice. Good anticipation is created. The audience wants to know more. An even smart story choice is when the Mayor’s secretary ends up dead and she turns out to be the mysterious woman. Now the audience is even more engaged. The goal appears to be clear: catch a killer and the stakes are high. However, as much as these …show more content…

Consider cutting the idea of watching the intruder remove a glove, run a finger over the blade, slice the finger, and lick the blood. This is something that slows the pace and it feels familiar. Trim a lot of the detectives/coroner/Deputy Mayor scenes to enhance the pace. Get in and out of a scene quick; the rule is to come into a scene late and to leave the scene early. Consider after the woman leaves her raincoat and package that Jude goes looking for her and that he actually sees the men taking her away. He could go after the men, get beaten, or he could go after them and lose them. This gives the script more action, elevates the suspense and tension, as well as it puts the focus more on Jude. The other concern is the flashback of his backstory about his partner. Consider if this is necessary. He already has a compelling backstory about his wife having cancer. He has PTSD. Explore if it’s necessary to have a second backstory. Regardless, it would be best not to have a flashback about how his partner is killed. This stops the main storyline. If this backstory is relevant just reveal it verbally, so as not to hinder the pace. Remember, keep the focus on

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