My Fear Of Fear

When I was five years old, I joined the Carroll Aquatic Swim Team. I stuck with it because I loved being underwater, feeling the refreshing water all over and the sensation of touching the wall, finishing first hearing the people holler. When I got older I just didn’t have much care for it. So, I decided that I wanted to give up. Then, my mom told me that I should finish the season than I could determine, nevertheless, I did as I was told. At my last meet, my mom signed me up to swim the IM which is when you swim all four strokes. I was convinced that I couldn’t do it because I had never done it before. I told my mom that I couldn’t and I would fail, but my friend convinced me that I should do it. She told me that I would only disappoint people if I gave up; consequently, I swam and received first place. In conclusion, I ended up feeling the same exciting feeling as when I was five.

My head went back, and my feet popped up. I felt the frigid water seep into my hair, and soak my scalp. I heard my mom’s soft voice trying to keep me calm, and reminding me to keep my bellybutton up to the air as if some puppet master was holding it up by a string. Every time my mom tried to let me float by myself, my feet would begin to sink. It was as if I was a weight on a fishing line pulling it down into the dark abyss. I couldn’t seem to stay relaxed, I was as stiff as a two by four. That fire was still burning my inner forest deep within me. I remember startling myself out of the float, because I did not feel my mom’s hands supporting me anymore. I scrambled for footing on the bottom of the pool floor feeling the rough pool floor slip past my toes a couple times before I got the traction to stand up. I was kind of confused for a moment as I tried to get the water out of my eyes and nose. My family was now all out in the pool area, and I realized the moment I have been dreading for the past few years of my short life was here and I knew it. My family was going to have me jump off the diving board, in hopes that it would dissipate my excruciating fear of water. My heart was beginning to pound through my

My parents tell me that I took to swimming like... a fish takes to water. It is a safe place where I can float free of worries. Driven by passion and dedication, I decided to begin swimming competitively. Competitive swimming requires an intense level of determination and discipline. Forcing myself to get out of my warm bed at 5:30 in the morning to put on a still-slightly-damp swimsuit and stand in 40-degree weather waiting for practice to start. Putting up with limited lane space and irritating swimmers who think they are faster. Making a conscious effort to work on my stroke form, turns, touches, and techniques. The water becomes a whirlpool of injuries, losses, wins, friendships, enemies, and sickness. The water becomes home.

I thought to myself “What if I’m not good enough? What if I dislike it as much as I remember? What will the Lyman Hall kids be like?” These worries only lasted until I opened the front door of the school, because I was greeted by many familiar faces. I shook hands with the captains, Victor Jacome and Robbie Driscoll, whom I had known from my previous swim team. The first practice was very difficult; in years past, I would have considered it to be very mild and easy, but I hadn’t tried to swim in a competitive manner in a very long time, and even after a couple laps, every muscle in my body ached. This was a very foreign feeling to me because I hadn’t felt this way since I first started swimming when I was 10 years old. At the peak of my conditioning when I was around 14 years old, I could swim a full mile, or 66 laps at a competitive pace, without stopping, and I would feel fine. However, like riding a bike, there is muscle memory involved, and after a few more practices swimming started to feel more like I remembered it. Despite this, some things still felt different; I changed a lot in 2 years: I grew from around 5’8 to 6’1 and went from very scrawny to somewhat a normal amount of muscle. These physical changes were beneficial to my swimming of course, and I felt myself traveling farther in the water with each stroke, therefore being more efficient. When swimming

As it was my first time learning to swim, I was terrified every time I was instructed to perform a stroke. As I attempted to swim across the pool, I would desperately cling onto the lane lines and swim near the pool wall. My early swim career was plagued with failure; I was unable to perform the exit skills required to exit the intermediate level, which I would repeat three times before being able to pass (cmp/cpl). The following summer I was placed into the advanced level, yet again would repeat this level four times until I was unable to proceed levels. Disheartened, I would stopped taking lessons until I decided to swim again during the summer following freshmen year of high school. This time I was placed into pre-team, the highest level for swim lessons. Despite struggling during the first few sessions, I learned with fervor and tremendously improved my swimming, abilities, inspired by my placement into pre-team. Because of this improvement, I was eventually eligible for the club’s swim team. Ever since I have completed pre-team, I continuously swim on my own during my free time.

When my parents first took me to the pool, I played in the water like any other kid would with my floaties and pool noodles. I knew my parents were big on sports, but was always unsure on which they would settle me in. For awhile, I was set on golf since my dad started taking me out to golf courses and arranging golf lessons with one of his colleagues; golf was what interested him. Little did I know, my parents had different plans for me. They changed their minds and I was introduced to a swim coach after school one afternoon. I was able to start that same day, so I did, and that shortly became the one thing in my life that stayed constant ever since. Along with being a swimmer, I was also a ballerina and a pianist. I became a dancer first, then quickly switched over to play the piano since I was more interested in learning to play an instrument. I tried out

I have one irrational belief that follows in-line with Ellis thinking. I have always been a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to any type of work. This has in certain instances led me to believe that if I am not an over-achiever and I am not able to produce high quality of work the work and myself must be worthless. This could stem from early school years when I was in an Honors class in New Jersey and they would have parent/ teacher conferences when I made a C or below average. The irrational fear has formed into anxiety which displays itself mostly during testing. I have learned to combat this by setting a study schedule and will not allow myself to study six hours before testing in order not to evoke the fight or flight mode that comes

I had always been a great swimmer. It was natural, it felt right. There times where'd I'd find myself in tears because I couldn't go to practice because nothing beats the feeling of gliding through that water, with cool liquid on your shoulders. It transports you, your in whole new world beneath the surface. I worked hard, gave honest

Luckily, I was going to be the last one to swim since I was swimming freestyle in the 100m mixed relay. The referee shouted, “On Your Mark….Get Set,” and the same deafening buzz pierced my eardrums. The swimmers dove into the water like dolphins and swam towards the other side and back like mad sharks. As I stepped up onto the platform, my heartbeat quickened and sweat dripped down from my head as I got ready to jump just as my teammate slammed into the wall. Bending my knees and pushing off to gain as much power as I could get, I splashed into the cold and freezing water that I haven’t touched in hours. My arms would not slow down take a rest. Constantly, my head spun from side to side so I could glare at the swimmers beside me who were trying so hard to pass me. Speeding towards the other side, I pulled my legs in and did a flip turn. Unfortunately, water rushed into my nose as I forcefully pushed off the wall. The two swimmers beside me were just a few inches in front of me! My legs quickened its movement to boost myself to catch up to those two. However, instead of speeding up, I slowed down and eventually lost to both of them and ended up getting third in my heat.

Through my years of living I never knew that fear would be on of my major problems. Fear is the reason why I have changed very much, never actually thought that one emotion can change your whole life. Back at the time when I was still a little girl I never actually cared or even thought about the things around me. I was always happy until when I started growing up and started opening my eyes more. Little by little i started to realize everything around me, every situation or even drama that would happen between friendships. Between me I was scared that maybe one day it would happen to me and my best friend.

Fear is an unpleasant feeling which is caused by the awareness of danger according to me. It is something that everyone has to manage no matter what; fear will be fear. Our lives are significantly formed by fears. We cannot escape from the experience of fear and pain. Everyone has their own fears but no matter how people look at it, they all overcome their apprehensions. People have different types of phobias. They are afraid of water, spiders, ghosts, etc. Even I am scared about such things. You know how there’s always that one kid who’s always terrified of something? Always jumping at the next unsuspecting sound? He is even afraid of his own shadow? Well, I was one of those kids. When I was 10 I had a nightmare. I saw that something was

Fear is the number one obstacle everyone must overcome at some point in their life. When the word fear is brought up I like to think of past situations that I experienced. There are many different methods used to conquer and learn from our fears such and exposure therapy, having a growth mindset, and thinking positive. For example, when I was younger fear was my worst enemy, School was the main reason that caused my fear. My fear of failure was my biggest obstacle growing up so I used that as a method to learn from my fears.

Fear is understood as an intense and distasteful emotion caused by an expectancy of peril, whether it be to one’s self or another. When humans experience their worst fear, such as fear of heights, spiders or needles, they encounter the noticeable symptoms which include increased heart rate, paling of the skin, excess secretion of sweat, stiffness in muscles, dizziness and or fainting. Now emotions such as happiness, depression, anger, and fear have all been engaged and tested on humans and animals; but specifically the emotion of fear is the most effective of them all.

The next part of the training turned out to be the toughest. We were required to dive ten feet to the bottom of the pool and retrieve a ten pound weight. Once the weight was brought to the surface we were supposed to tread water for two minutes while keeping the weight above the water line. This appeared to be simple so I dived in, expecting an easy time. I had no trouble getting the weight to the surface and proceeded to tread water with a feeling of undoubtable success. But once again my anti-floating physical quality began to take effect. At one minute and thirty seconds I began to sink and within the next fifteen seconds my head was submerged and I was fighting for air. The water from the pool began flowing into my mouth with each desperate grasp for air; it felt as if an ocean were draining into my body. I remember hearing from under the water the instructor's muffled voice counting down the last ten seconds of the exercise. When it was all over I slowly made my way back to the pool's edge where I was informed by the two young girls that they had no difficulty

After I decided to not learn how to swim. I decided to focus on qualities that I was could actually achieve. With this in mind; I worked hard and got good grades, was able to play the piano, was able to use a personal computer, and was able to construct vehicles using Legos. . However, I still felt incomplete because I didn’t know how to swim. When i was in elementary school, many of my classmates bragged about how well they performed during their swim meet or how much of fun they had in the pool. I’ve finally told myself that enough was enough, so I asked my dad to sign me up for swimming lessons. With pleasure, he signed me up for a swim course that lasted two weeks in the community center. Upon walking into the center, I came in with the impression that swimming lessons would be easy because of how fun my classmates made it sound. Unfortunately when the class started, the fears of entering the water haunted me again as I