Before I came here, I never understood what love was. My heart, my soul, and my very existence was cold and static because Lalnable created me only to mirror someone real as a seemingly perfect copy. Lalna fell for it, and somehow along the way, I fell for him. It was quick. So quick that I could have sworn that feeling wasn’t really mine. As if I was simply channeling someone else who felt such a deep attraction that it transcended all logic, and as quickly as I realized, I already knew it was Nano’s fault. My days revolved around her. Whether knowingly or unknowingly. From the first breath I ever took to the last I will ever take, she would always be the central player. An original could never be beaten by a fake. I knew that. I knew that …show more content…
It was such a difference from mine that it made me stop completely. I had been so ready to go against her before. I was ready for anything, but in such a situation where the tensions were rising by the second, it dropped off immediately as she finally broke the silence she had been keeping for so long. Looking up to meet her eyes that held no animosity, I realized she never had any intention of killing me from the start. The weapon she held was for nothing more than defense and it had been moved out of the way to allow an outstretched hand to take it’s place that reached out, inviting me to take hold. My first reaction was to go off and accuse her of manipulating me to trust her, but instead, I somehow wanted to question it. I just wanted to know why. “I don’t understand...” She seemed to fall back at such a question, but taking the step I wouldn’t take and grabbing my hand to pick me up off the ground, she smiled softly; holding onto me as tenderly as possible, “I know you don’t. I mean, all this time you’ve chased after me and blamed me for everything. It must go against everything you believe in, but listen, I’ve never wanted to harm you and I never will. You’re a part of me. If you want to blame me and hate me for making you live with me after all this too, you have the right to do that. For now, just know that I’m gonna take care of you and the next time I see Lalnable, I’m gonna thank him and then flux him up, I …show more content…
Thank you? I’m sorry? Some things could be my fault too? No. I said what I had quickly realized even if she would probably think me weird. “Nano, your heart is so warm...” Now, after the fallout and rebuild of my life, I’m here sandwiched between Lalna and Nano. My love that I received second hand from Nano has come through, and Lalna loves us both equally. We fight sometimes about it only to make up laughing at the thought that we’re basically fighting with ourselves. I’ve gotten better from before and can laugh pretty naturally without forcing myself. The sadness is still there, but it doesn’t hurt as much and I don’t want to throw my life away anymore. I’m actually happy. Loved too. Lalnable still hasn’t showed his face, and Nano still goes on about beating him up everyday, but if he never shows up again, I think I’d be just fine. To see him again would probably throw me back to the past and bring me down. The present is so much more bearable and the warmth is so much more wonderful. Laying up at night, I just melt in it while thinking about nothing at all and everything at once. Staring at Nano’s sleeping face; her hand holding mine and Lalna sleeping behind me with his arm wrapped around us both, I’m finally drifting off to
In the past, she would not imagine killing other people. She became a new person with a new name in order to kill the enemies, the men on the hills during the war. She first hesitated if she would be able to end the life of another human, but soon made the decision that the men on the hills, her targets were expendable. If she didn’t shoot them it was going to be her and the countless other innocent lives. “A weapon is a manifestation of a decision that has already been made”.
She smiled at me and said, “Serenity this wasn’t your fault. If it was anyone’s fault, it was the men who did this. Just promise me one thing before I die.”
It has been a week since I handed in my project for English, things still do not feel the same at home, something feels as if it’s missing with Johnny and Dally went. Like a shadow has gone over our group. Nothing feels quite the same around a home, Dally seems more gentle with me almost as if I’m glass and will break, but I can see why. They try to make me feel better, and slowly my life is getting back on track, my grades are slowly climbing up, again Dally thinks I still got a good chance to get into a great university, he thinks that if I enter track next year, and do well I can even get a sports scholarship. I hope what he is saying is right. The whole group seems to be pushing me forward. Sodapop also seems happy for me, he is smiling more, but he almost seems more protective. Now that my head is clear I feel like I can see things the way they are. Because of that, they are careful around me, not wishing me to become like what I was again.
I know they can’t but you can make the best out of this. We could.” he closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. “I just don’t want to lose you. I‘ve been perpetually losing you since we met, I know this is hard for you but you have to choose between the possibility of rebuilding a life or going away forever...please.”
She has just enough room to wiggle out of his arms and step back, wielding the knife at them with the intent of murder. She uses her built-up rage and gains newfound confidence to fight against her doubts. She realizes that this is the only time she can end this, and she will end it now. “Now I'm the one who's armed." And I'm more pissed off...
.. Indeed, "Sweetheart Asya", I am now laying down to catch up on my night's sleep, endearingly envisioning you sleepily seductively snuggle up warm-heartedly with me companionable.
“This conversation is not over. I want what’s best for you and right now that’s going to see your aunt Carol. I think that it's not as bad as you make it be. -” I cut her off by leaving the room and going to bed.
Life has gone on without you. That old girlfriend may be married. Your best friend may no longer share common interests. That hangout where your friends met is no longer be the most blissful spot around. You aren't going back to where you left. That place has changed ... and so have you. Your reality is colored by your thoughts. (2) When you expect something to be one way -- but it is not like that at all -- you experience mental anguish. Expect that things have changed. For, they have.
I shoot Griven a look when she turned away, leaving us to our Rias. “Be careful” I whisper. “I know they have been nice so far, but still…” I drifted off, hoping he understands.
“I’m sorry, my love,” I said as my eyes began to water. She grabbed her chest in pain and stared at me. Her eyes teared up and a single tear ran down her cheek as she took her final breath. I did what I had done so many times before, but I never felt any remorse for my actions until then.
“You want her to do what you want.” Luna said aggressively, but not enough for him to catch on. “You care about her I know, but you have to let her make her own decisions. Giving her no options isn’t the way to go. I know from experience that most people try to kill themselves because they feel like they have no other options. Do you really want to do that to her?”Luna was blunt, and that was a good thing in a time like this.
“Ava. She’s my one reason to live. If you can’t live for me or yourself, live for her, she needs you. I need you.” She got choked up, tears ran down her face.
“I don’t know,” I told her. It was an easy way out, a way to not have any more worries pile up. She shot me a look, that I unfortunately
Averting my eyes from hers so I could wipe away the tears slithering down my cheeks, I replied, “I don’t know. Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you, it’s just I’m so confused and am hurting so bad that… I don’t know.”
“How could you mess up so badly?” you repeatedly ask yourself thousands upon thousands of times. Staring at the ceiling in your bed you’re nearly motionless as you’re consumed with all of the thoughts racing through your mind. This goes on weeks, you feel incapacitated and frozen, but the world doesn’t stop with you. Everyday is a constant battle to get up and fulfill your responsibilities, despite your current state of affairs you manage to keep going. “Marin” you say to yourself “You can keep on going.” Eventually the negative feelings subside and you feel like yourself once more. Without even noticing it you’re back to hanging out with your friends regularly and it’s almost as if that heartbreak never occurred. Then the cycle continues, you meet another person and the same thing happens. Though you get stronger after each failure, your hope to find love does not cease. Maybe I’ll run into him today you say to yourself, no maybe not. One seemingly normal day you bump into him by accident. Locking your eyes you both say sorry at the same time and laugh a little. “I’m so sorry” you say with a little laughter seeping out