Personal Narrative: Two Years Of Junior High

School was exactly how I had imagined it to be while I was in grade school. I had the privilege of having recess, early lunch hours, and most importantly, naptime! The day I started sixth grade, my whole world seem as if it flipped upside down. I was no longer at the top of the “food chain”, school was way more stressful, and I had, in fact, found new talents within myself.

Junior year. My junior year I realized things about myself that I hadn’t previously known. Things I’ve never done before and things people thought I couldn’t do. Situations I thought I wouldn’t be in and there I was. Junior year, I did it.

Ah, Junior High. Those awkward years between sixth and ninth grade when I had no earthly idea what to do with myself. I remember them well. I had to get used to being in a school that wasn’t an elementary school, the way older kids were acting, and how things were in my new school.

The summer before high school, I cut ties with a person in my life who was constantly putting me down and making me feel depressed and like I was not good enough for anyone. Whenever I was with them, I felt exhausted. Now that they are not in my life as much, I do feel better, but I feel guilty about how I cut ties with them. I could have done it better, but I chose to just stop interacting with them. I was not mean about it, but I did not try hard enough to be nice about it. If I could talk to that person now, I would make sure they know that I do not hate them and that our friendship just was not how a friendship should be. This person is still friends with most of my friends, so I know that they hate me. I feel awful about it because my goal was never to hurt them. Melinda and I are alike in the way that I am not sure how to feel about our discontinued friendship and I do not know how I should act when I am around them. Within my friend group, and everyone else’s friend groups, we have people who struggle with self-esteem and self-worth. We all do. Some days when I wake up I can barely look in the mirror. Just like Melinda, some of my friends just cannot see how amazing they are and it hurts more than anything when I see that. Everyone is just so amazing

I used to see the world behind a lens of insecurity. When you are not comfortable in your own skin, it affects every decision you make. What changed me and saved me from this, however, was my activity in drama productions. I got a very small role in a play during my freshman year, and that prompted me to get more involved over the next few years. I got to learn from upperclassmen and got to see how everything fits into place if everyone works hard for the outcome. During my last two years at a different high school, I sought out more backstage work because the department badly needed it. All my experiences in drama productions have been positive, and all have helped me develop a healthier self image that enables me to focus my energy on other people, instead of myself.

I told myself I had to be me not who people wanted me to be. With time, I started to hang out with new people, a new group. I acted like myself with them. They pulled the best out of me and helped me accept who I was. I wouldn't be alone anymore. They were there

Being a freshman is the hardest of your four years in high school. Have you ever been pressured to be the best person you can be? This is how my year was as a freshman. Freshman year was the most different I never thought I would of found my way around the school when I first started to go there. Freshman year was the best year throughout my years of high school and it was the only year I had friends. During this year I had a lot of anxieties which dealt with me thinking I’m gonna be alone and not have any friends throughout the year to support me through the whole thing. Also, I would think of the pressure of not doing good in any of my classes so I would think it would affect my GPA in the future. The transition from middle school to high school was a different type of thing to do.

Not only did I lose confidence in myself, but I lost my ability to stick up for myself. I remember countless times I would finally acquire the courage and confidence to say or do something, but as soon as I would take action, someone would wreck my short-lived moment of confidence by deprecating me. People could walk all over me, and I wouldn’t do anything about it. As an easy target, they knew I would never stick up for myself, because I wanted to create peace and please everyone. Never creating conflicts and having everyone’s friendship are all I had concern for. Little did I know, I belittled myself, making myself seem so insignificant, as if I were just a speck, allowing everyone to shine but

The tumultuous halls and classrooms of my school, filled with fellow students I had no past encounter with, lies the confirmation 15-year-old me sought for.

I remember dreading going to school everyday. I started to think there was something wrong with me. That I had a problem. It was at that point in time I decided my plan of action. I became a piece of clay. I can’t think of any other way to say it. I took all the personality out of myself and acted how everyone thought I should act. I sort of started playing a character. Sure, my character was based off myself, but I stopped showing my real emotions and opinions. I was a walking joke. I did what other people thought was funny and that’s about it. Fast forward to three years later. It’s sixth grade and I still am a huge pushover. Over the last three years, my character is becoming more and more like me, but still doesn't do anything unless they're trying to be funny. I had developed a decent sized group of friends and was pretty well liked (I think). When I inevitably realized what I was doing, holding back my true emotions and thoughts, almost subconsciously, to keep a group of friends. I don’t mean having a filter. Having a filter is when you make sure not to curse in front of your grandmother or keep information to yourself because it’s personal. I ,of course, did that, but also kept things secret that I thought clashed with the character I made for myself. I became really upset. I thought my friends didn’t like me, that they only liked the character I had become. My solution was to stop talking to

When I started my freshman year, I was really insecure in who I was and what I wanted to do. I was still really shy and never really showed anybody who I really was. A couple months into the school year I met my best friend. She taught me that it is okay to be you and that you don't have to satisfy everybody to satisfy yourself. I struggled to overcome this obstacle for a year. My main desire was to please everybody before myself and I learned that all I had to do was please myself and my needs. Now, doing what I want, being myself and not being scared about showing it to others, I have begun the journey of overcoming the trial of thinking I am not good enough for the world. This journey has gone on for year and is still going on. The journey of overcoming my differences, finding myself, and not allowing others to determine what, or who, or why I am. I will never forget what my friends did for me. To this day, these great young women still influence my life and are still a pushing factor in me overcoming the

I would never be in this situation if it was not for opening myself up, and meeting other people in my previous years. I really do not care what other people think of me, and I learned I am not perfect. I like to be in the moment and live life to the fullest. I am not afraid to go out on a limb anymore and I make mistakes in order to learn from them. All in all, I am not afraid of humiliating myself and being me. I love to laugh, I laugh very easy; at myself and others. Laughter to me is contagious, and I always laugh to a point where I cry. With laughter and humility comes

Throughout my time at St. X, I have met many great people and have become friends with a good amount of them. However, I don’t really feel that I have any really close friends. When I think about it, there is not really anyone that I would go to if I was having any troubles. It certainly is not because of them, as many people have been nothing but kind to me. It is my natural distrust of people that blocks me from opening up to others. I also think that it is a fear of being rejected and made fun of if I do open myself up. I think that this is certainly a gradual journey and something that will mostly be achieved with time. In order to help speed up this time period, I think that raising my self confidence will help me to open up to others and develop closer bonds with my

So I went through that year trying to find a group of friends who accepted me, I would throw myself at any group that would have me I eventually found one. They were a group of people who I thought I had a lot in common with and who I thought would be great people to have as friends. Yet again I was wrong. That was yet another support system that had crumbled. Eventually a few people left and made new friends because of the others but I stayed but what I have come to realise is that once you have known someone for so long their flaws start to show. I started to notice that these people weren’t who I thought they were, at times they were bullies who were bringing the worst out of me encouraging me to become the bully too, I had joined the people who had put me through so much pain and who I had spent so many years hating. For quite some time I was oblivious to what was happening but one day something changed within me and I thought to myself “this isn’t who I want to be” I know what it’s like to be the victim and I would never want to put someone else through what I went

It is common knowledge that life is supposed to be hard and you are going to meet people that don’t like you for you being yourself. Additionally, my parents would always say this and repeat it to me in order to get me to understand and accept it. The thing is, it was hard accepting that. For instance, during sixth and seventh grade, I cared a lot of what other people thought of me. I wanted it everyone to think I was cool and, most importantly, I wanted to make many long-lasting friendships. However, this illusion of mine did not