Essay On Internal Racism

Decent Essays

I am a Hispanic woman who if I am honest have a lot of self hate for myself and my culture. “Internal racism has been the term used to describe the process by which persons of color absorb the racist messages that are omnipresent in our society and internalized them” (Sue, 2016). I grew up in a small border town where stereotypes are made. I never experienced much racism because we were the majority. However, looking at it now I have a lot of self hate, and I always identified as white growing up, because I am light skinned I still believe I can pass for white at least until I moved to Georgia. Living here has taught me that I miss my culture I miss the cooking, the camaraderie, the unity that Hispanics have. The other day I was asked at …show more content…

I have been really wondering lately if moving was the best thing for me and my family, but unfortunately I have no one left in Texas all my family is in Georgia. Though I still feel that I am in the conformity stage I do see where I am moving into the dissonance phase though I feel like I am moving slowly and that I may be reluctant to change. I do still identify mainly with a white culture though I am more family oriented then the white culture is. My soon to be ex husband is white and our two daughters are half white, and I still only date white men and after looking at this model I wonder when did I become so anti Hispanic.
The resistance and immersion phase is “The primary orientation of individuals in this phase is the tendency to endorse minority- held views completely and to reject values of the dominate society and culture” (Sue, 2016). I feel that I am not even close to because though I do wonder why or when I learned to hate myself especially that I come from such a proud family I still do not feel bad about it. I am the way I am and one day I may change, but as of right now I am who I am and I am okay with that. I still can’t relate to this phase of the identity model even knowing what I know. I guess in a way I am just not ready to change everything about myself. I am sure one day I will be ready for this stage and I hope that one day I can move the the Integrative awareness phase so that I can be better for myself. My kids and for my

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