Reflection Paper

Thinking back in my school age years, I was so afraid to read in public, some of the words I didn’t know how to pronouns, and kids are so mean, they would tease me and make funny noises to discourage me, and make me not want to read ever,

During the 4th and 5th grade, I did not know how to distinguish where a paragraph started and ended, and I was too nervous to ask for help. The concept of a paragraph was never fully explained to me, and it was considered common knowledge, so I never learned; as a result, I would not ask for any help because I did not want others to know. In class, I would dread being called on,

Carrie Fisher once proclaimed, “Stay afraid but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually, the confidence will follow.” I had to learn the hard way that confidence does not show up ready for you to utilize, just as the quote says. You have to put yourself out there and the confidence will develop. In the seventh grade, I joined the beginner band and chose to play the flute. Beginning band was far more terrifying than my twelve-year-old self imagined it to be. I learned that each student would have to perform in front of the class for a weekly grade. Even worse, the one other flute player next to me had already been playing for a year and I constantly compared myself to her. Later in that semester, this girl and I were talking and she said to me, “When we first started, I thought you were going to be the worst player in the band!” I was completely baffled that this girl, who had only been playing for a few more months than I had, would have the audacity to say that to my face. I did not understand that, at the time, it was okay for me to not play as well as she could. I had only been playing for a few weeks at most after all. Twelve year old me took it to heart and I felt like I was two inches tall. Sadly, that was not the last negative interaction I had with that girl. She stayed with me all throughout middle school, where she made fun of me for making last chair in eighth grade, and overall, put my

“Dane why do you never take your book home and read? You know we have a quiz on chapter 10 next class.” said Mrs. Mabe. Growing up I never enjoyed reading because we had to take tests, answer questions, and write journals over the reading. Therefore, I only did it because I was required too. My experience with reading and writing has been a stressful, boring, and opportunistic journey. When I was very young, my parents would read to me, but once I started school it all faded away. I don’t struggle to read and write; only the fact that I don’t enjoy the process. For me, both of these are very time consuming and not enjoyable. Although, none of this was fun to me; my parents strived for my success, and mentored me.

We are all different in unique ways that make us who we are. Life comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, and orientations, and yet the only thing we, as a society, see is what makes up the best of these. So many people believe that being “different” is not acceptable in the world, and because of this, people deny themselves who they are and live in fear. I sadly found myself in the same situation, afraid and alone.

Over the course of the semester, I spent a wide variety of time working with high school students being trained for future employment through the program Project Search. Project Search is a program that serves high schoolers with significant intellectual and developmental disabilities, training them into possessing the skills to transition from the school system to the workforce. In the fall semester of 2017, five students from Blount County high schools who were interested in future employment took place in the program. Two students were female and three students were male. These students were in their last year of high school, around the age of twenty-one. Each individual had various abilities and skills that assisted them in building their skills for their future professions. The most observable skill was their ability to engage in social situations, which roughly ranged from having difficulty making eye contact to have little to no trouble in speaking. They also ranged in their abilities for a variety of other skills, such as staying in professional dress, completing work in a timely manner, and having a positive attitude during the workday. Over the course of the semester, I watched these students shape and develop their skills to prepare them for professional careers.

There was a time in the 4th and 5th grade when I didn’t know how to distinguish when a paragraph started and ended and I would never ask for help. The concept of a paragraph was never explained to me and was considered common knowledge so I never learned; subsequently, I would ask for any help because I didn’t want others to know. So in class I would dread being called on not because of my reading skill, but for the fact of not knowing when to stop. When we

My parents used to tell me that education was a privilege, not a right, and that I was fortunate to live in a democracy where I was legally entitled to my education. As I got older, partially because of this upbringing, I used to think the word privilege could only be applied to address the wealthy people of higher social hierarchies who were bestowed benefits and advantages from society, a true life of privilege. I never once thought that word could refer to me. I made that mistake during a conversation I had a year ago with my brother’s girlfriend, Sara. To put it simply, she is a bright and radiant twenty-four year old woman whom I admire profusely, specifically for her intelligence and wit which got her into Dental School. With regards to this, it is important to understand that she is Asian and of Chinese-ethnicity, and I am of Macedonian-ethnicity but considered Caucasian. That particular day, I started applying to universities and was talking spiritedly to Sara after-school about my hopes and ambitions; I told her that I wanted to enter the English program and potentially head off to Teaching College afterwards. She challenged me by asking if I had ever thought about Law School. In fact, it was something I had never thought about, which I told her. To emphasize her point further, she told me about how when she was in her Biology program she had never aimed academically higher than getting into Hygiene school, let alone Dentistry. The idea seemed ridiculous to me.

When I was around seven, I learned a valuable lesson of listening to your parents. Even to this day my parents would bring up that time to warm us not to do anything dumb. Whenever I am near the water, it reminds me of the stupid game that my brother and I used to do.

It was called the washing. Its purpose was to "wash the impurities" out of everyone’s head. Man no longer had morals, and no one followed laws. Brother was scared of brother and sister turned on sister. The bigger picture was, if no one remembered wrongdoings in their past they would not do it in their future. it was kind of like a reset button...but for humans. Really, it was just a way to depersonalize the population because robots are always easier to control than human’s who had something to fight for. They started with small, with inmates, then moved to anyone even accused of a crime. Soon workplaces and schools required it. Some resisted, and they were executed, so if the soldiers came to your door you had to comply or die.

To begin, I have to establish a disclaimer: The person I was working with was currently an inmate at my place of employment which is a Juvenile Detention Center. In any event, I cannot legally state his name, so instead of stating his name, I will call him Joe Smith. Furthermore, Joe Smith is originally from Mexico and was brought over by his mother when he was ten years old. Joe Smith has been in the United States for six years, but he has been in and out of school for several years due to his criminal activity. The detention center offers classes for the inmates, but Joe used to skip the classes up until recently. In any event, Joe’s spoken English is far greater than his written English. The times where I worked with Joe (there were many of them) we mainly worked on his written language and reading comprehension (phonics mainly). In any event, Joe was definitely more of a naturalist English learner rather than an academic one. If I had to categorize Joe into a proficiency level, I would say he is beginning to intermediate when it pertains to writing and reading, but advanced speaking wise. In any event, Joe is a male and he was technically in the 9th grade but should have been in the 11th grade (according to his numerical age).

Throughout their high school careers, everyone, even those who think that they have learned nothing, have learned something. This isn’t any different for me. The lessons of my high school career and my high school extracurricular activities helped me develop a strong foundation of independence, a sense that trying to be like everyone else does not make you a better person. This independence has led me to life paths that others would not pursue. These paths helped me develop important life skills, such as leadership and communication. They also led me to opportunities that I would not have found without that strong foundation of independence – being myself, not just a mold of others.

I was reading a book one day and I read the statement “If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself” (The Lightning Thief, 2005). I knew I had to change to become a better version of myself. Times got better in high school. I learned that I deserved to be happy and loved. I realized that everyone is different and that is what makes us awesome. I learned to love myself despite my flaws. Sometimes, even now I have relapses and I know now what to do and how to get through them.

Martha Graham, an American dancer, once said, “Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion.” As a child grows up, they realize the copious amount of possibilities and directions they are being led. Many children choose sports, others choose to enjoy reading, and some choose to explore the world of science. At a young age, I decided to follow the direction of dancing. During my prolonged dance career, I had a numerous amount of teachers, but only two, in particular, stand out to me today. In eighth grade, I was in a class taught by Teacher A. Today, I am in a class taught by Teacher B. Teacher A and Teacher B are very similar, yet completely different. From these two people, I learned how important it is to exemplify good traits of character. While Teacher A was not very keen on being an example of a person with character, Teacher B was an accurate representation of a person with quality traits. I was able to learn about being respectful, responsible, trustworthy, fair, and caring from both Teacher A and Teacher B.

For my professional speaking event, I attended a guest speaking event at a church. The speaker was Rev. David Jennys and he was a guest speaker at All Souls Unitarian Universalist church on the morning of Sunday, November 19. Rev. Jennys gave his speech about gratefulness and how we can grow and nurture it. He states three important words at the beginning of his speech: Rooted, Built, and Strengthened. Rev. Jennys first mentions how we can let our gratitude for the world take root, how we can build it up, and how we can strengthen it to become truly grateful individuals. His purpose for that particular speech was to inform and his goal was to give the audience members tools to fill our lives with gratefulness. I would say that he was able to accomplish his goal being that he was able to give me several meaningful methods of gratefulness to think about.