Verifying the Theories of Deborah Tannen's You Just Don’t Understand

In the first excerpt Deborah Tannen wrote “But What Do You Mean?”, she breaks down and classifies the conversational areas where men and women have the most difficulties communication. Tannen’s excerpt is written from a personal point of view, it is written within her daily workplace and based off actions or events she encounters between men and women. Tannen argues that men tend to be more confrontational when communication and women happen to approach confrontation in a subtle way. Men are direct and to the point, while women try to negotiate. In the excerpt Tannen breaks her argument into 7 sperate

In her essay, "But What Do You Mean?" Deborah Tannen discusses how men and women 's conversation styles differ in how they communicate with one another. The problem is that men and women have different perspectives. Tannen explains that the "conversation rituals" among women are designed to be polite and sensitive to others, while the "conversation rituals" among men are designed to maintain superiority (328). Tannen explores seven ways in which men and women miscommunicate : apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. Being no fault of either party, conversation strategies between men and women are just naturally different, these miscommunications can make conversation awkward and sometimes can be misunderstood.

In the essay, “But What Do You Mean?” author and linguistic expert Deborah Tannen argues her feelings on how men and women vary in their use of conversational “rituals.” She states that males have a tendency to use wording to sustain dominance in conversation; however, women seem to take in to account the feelings of others. Tannen identifies seven categories in which men and women differ in communication. First, women use apologies to assure other people. Men can misapprehend these apologies as taking blame rather than as the ritual reassurance that women mean for it to be perceived. This supports what Tannen says in her essay, “But there are times when ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t self-deprecating or even an apology” (Tannen 380). Second, men are more straight-forward when criticizing more than women; women “soften” their criticism with the purpose of sparing the feelings of the person they are criticizing. Third, women often say “thank you” ritualistically, most of the time to equate the two in the conversation. Fourth, men enjoy “verbally sparring” more than women. Because of this difference, women are under the impression that they are usually condemned in a conversation. Fifth, women and men use praise differently. Women tend to expect praise open-heartedly when they are praised. Men, on the other hand, often confuse that not criticizing is praise enough. Sixth, women converse their complications in order to share their experiences; they complain not to solve their

In "Sex, Lies and Conversation" Deborah Tannen, linguistics professor at Georgetown University, explains the discrepancies between female and male mechanics of conversation: females tend to converse while facing one another and respond with supportive remarks; males tend to converse while looking away from one another and respond with dismissive remarks. According to Tannen, such discrepancies arose from childhood development and socialization. Because females developed bonds through conversation from a young age, they often express their feelings and thoughts with others. Males, however, developed bonds less dependent of socialization, but rather through the participation of various activities as children. Therefore, females developed the

What is it that makes a woman a woman, or what makes a man a man? Deborah Tannen, author and Ph.D. of linguistics, investigates this question within the essay, “There Is No Unmarked Woman.” An excerpt from a larger publication, “Talking from 9 to 5,” written in 1994, “There Is No Unmarked Woman” is an effective examination of the social injustice as to why the state of womanhood is “marked” while the state of manhood is “unmarked”, and what this means for each sex. The book itself is a result of real-life research about the conversational

In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the opposite side. A few examples of lack of communication may be when women don’t decide where they would like to eat, men who walk away from an argument rather than talking it out, and their decision making processes.

Just because all stand-up comedians don't need an underlying message doesn't mean specific topics getting discussed don't deserve an underlying message incorporated. Evidence, for example, Amy Schumer's "Football Town Nights", show that a comedian can be hilarious, all the while, remain in the realms of political correctness with an underlying message. She tackles an ageda on rape culture, generally a sensitive discussion, whilst giving a comedic undertone. In doing so, shape and value are given to her career as a commedian. Recently SNL tried to cover a very similar piece, "Teacher Trial", on satutory rape within the school system. They had previously attempted a similiar skit a year ago with massive backlash and negative feedback. Ultimately,

Deborah Tannen tackled this often glazed over topic in her essay “How Male and Female Students Use Language Differently.” The essay primarily focuses around Tannen’s experiences

While the protagonists, Leslie and Ben, challenge gender stereotypes and are well rounded individuals, the antagonists represent an anti-feminist/sexist ideology, relevant to society today. While both “traditional values” and “men’s rights activists” are laughably dismissed, feminism is championed in this episode with direct quotes from protagonists. By challenging gender norms, ridiculing opposers of feminism and holding feminism in high regard, the episode promotes the stride toward gender equality as the necessary and right thing to do. The show’s writers Amy Poehler, Greg Schur, and Mike Daniel’s side is quite clear and intentional.

Due to the different ways of expressing politeness and conversational involvement, they may have trouble communicating even if they share the same language. The ‘two cultures' approach proposes that talk between women and men is fraught with potential misunderstanding for much the same reasons that communication across the ethnic groups is (Mary Crawford, Talking Difference On Gender and Language, 1995). Hence, I agree with the point of view of Deborah Tannen. However, "You just don't understand: Women and men in conversation" does not inform readers about the reasons and the consequences of the communication differences between genders. Therefore, this essay will include the above

Some words of this video may offend men. The purpose of this video shouldn´t be to offend anyone but some words of this video can do this. This can make that men think in a negative way about feminism. Potty-Mouthed Princesses Drop F-Bombs for Feminism complicates matters further when they say: ´

Communication between males and females has always been somewhat complicated. Because we are arguing that males and females have different cultures we wanted to take a look at what some of these differences might be. According to our research the inherent differences between male and female culture are the different roles that society holds for them and the ways these roles lead to different communication styles. The stereotypes that men and women grow up with affect the types of ways in which they communicate. We first wanted to take a look at how they specifically differ while men and women are arguing or having normal conversations. We also looked at the different types of networks that men and women

The fact that an interview on the topic of infidelity must appear on the Daily show perpetuates the idea that there are many crude and hard conversations that need to be brought to light that don’t have many other opportunities. Most other shows and news networks won’t allow crude and heavy criticism of these men in power let alone a conversation on infidelity.

It was once said that, “When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch.” ― Bette Davis (Davis, 1). We live in an age today where women are seen as “equal” to men, yet we still have ignorant people who seem to belittle women that are successful alongside men. When looking at both Wendy Molyneux's point of view in “I'm Sorry I Didn’t Write A Comedy Piece”, Christopher Hitchens's argument throughout his article, “Why Women Aren't Funny”, and president Donald Trump’s many voiced opinions on women as a whole, it is clear to see that sexism is a prominent concern within society today. While Christopher Hitchens argues that women arent funny because they have no “purpose” requiring them to be, Wendy Molyneux's rebuttal is aimed directly towards Hitches, and seems to mock his lack of knowledge about women as a whole. I believe that Molyneux is right for sticking up for both herself and women, because while Hitchen’s opinion might be respected, it is both ignorant and offensive due to the fact he has no insight on what women actually do, and also belittles them down to just having ‘looks’ to offer our society. This argument brings awareness to not only Hitchens, but many others who chose to read both articles, and the resulting impact on society is what makes it so significant.

Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of