Analysis Of The Poem ' Ruination, And My Sonnet '

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For the end of the semester project, the class was asked to revise three of their poems and create a portfolio that showcased progress from the beginning to the end product. After a hard time deciding what to work on, I selected my Object poem-Driftwood, the Surrealist poem--Ruination, and my sonnet. While I by no means think that all three of these are my best poems that were produced in the class, they were the among the most difficult and fun to rework. Over the course of the rewrites, I focused on changing the form and adding precise imagery to the poems. The first poem I revised was the surrealist poem, originally entitled On Sewing Whispers. Even when writing that first draft, I did not end up with the work I ultimately desired, and after the first class, resolved to never look at the poem again. However, the poem just would not stay silent in my head, so I decided to rework it. At first, I went back to the commentary that ranged from eliminating the abundance of italics to making the images within the poem more coherent and sensical. However, each time I tried to implant one of these suggestions onto the original, I ended up stuck. Thus, I rewrote the poem. In the second draft, the images were more concrete: ‘...and tasting glass ash’, is an example. However, the problem with the second draft was the form--three line stanzas that were fairly short, and and robotic. Based on feedback, I spent time working on the form, lengthening some of the lines and

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