Analyzing The Moments Of Life Come From Having Crucial Conversations

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Many ‘defining’ moments in life come from having crucial conversations (as these create significant shifts in attitude and behavior). This book focuses on techniques on how to hold such conversations in a positive space when surrounded by highly charged emotions. Their findings are based on 25 years of research with 20,000 people.

Their model has essentially 7 steps:
1. Start with the heart (i.e. empathy and positive intent)
2. Stay in dialogue
3. Make it safe
4. Don’t get hooked by emotion (or hook them)
5. Agree a mutual purpose
6. Separate facts from story
7. Agree a clear action plan

Our success in life is dictated by the quality of relationships we can engender. Some people seem better at negotiating better quality outcomes (for all) than others do – they work with people rather than through people. They are able to hold deeper, more honest conversations that create a new level of bonding and are able to transform people, situations and relationships. By being prepared to hold these conversations (often early) they ensure clarity over responsibility, define expectations and hence maintain high levels of performance. When we let these conversations go by, we let standards slip and unwittingly give permission for unwanted behavior to continue.
Crucial conversations lie all around us – all the time: from performance appraisals at work, up to discussing problems over sexual intimacy. The skills we need in the boardroom are the same skills we need in the bedroom.

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