Better: A Personal Perspective On Depression

Approximately 121 million people around the world suffer from all types of depression. Depression is one of the many types of villains that we all have to face in life and have to live with. Having depression is something hard to describe. Basically, mornings are a struggle to get up, smiling is not an option, laughing seems impossible, positive thinking is forbidden, relationships are lost hopes, freedom is gone, love is dead. It is like drowning in the ocean, going only deeper and deeper. You can see the light shining on the surface of the waters, but you are being pulled down deeper into an abyss, drowning. That is what depression feels like.

I had an average life up until the point I fell into depression. It was something that took over my life and I couldn't control it. It showed me a different side of myself that I couldn't even recognize. It was an awful experience especially if you couldn't help yourself. I've grown from that situation and it helped me become the person I am today.

I received a phone call shortly into my sophomore year of college that my grandfather had a heart attack. I am very close to my grandparents because they helped raise me. My grandparents live four hours away and I was constantly driving to the hospital to see them. My grandfather had to have open heart triple bypass surgery, and I failed my classes for the entire second year. I took the quarter off going into my third year and started back winter quarter. Again, I had no success the next three quarters because I was dealing with depression. Later that year I received the treatment needed to manage depression. In August 2013 I started a medical assisting program and graduated with an Associate’s Degree in Business, with honors, while working

From the second I was born to this very day, everything has been done for me. My father does the laundry, my mother cooks dinner, and both of them take turns cleaning the house. I have always been dependent on my parents to help me with everything life throws at me, so when they left it up to me to decide what career I wanted to pursue, I was lost.

There exists a great deal of misunderstanding and misinformation among the American public regarding depression. While depression is recognized as a clinically diagnosable and treatable mental illness the term is also commonly used by lay people to describe nothing more that a "depressed" mood. This casual reference to a serious medical condition discounts its validity and creates a stigma for those with true depression. In fact many view depression as nothing more than an emotional weakness in others (Blonna, 1996).

Depression is an experience of feeling down, blue, or sad. Depression can affect your thoughts and feelings, relationships, daily activities, and physical health. It is caused by changes in your brain that can be triggered by stress in your life or a serious loss.

Over the past sixty years, facts about depression and the reality of it have come to light; however, there are still negative stigmas concerning the mental illness and how people ought to endure through the pain. Despite these negative

Depression is an illness to those in the same way cancer is a disease. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes those struggling to function different. Depression is something you have to live with knowing that you are different than everyone else. Depression is an illness that will not go away in a few weeks or even a few months. Depression last years upon years. Although it gets treated like it’s not a big deal, mental illnesses are just like diseases people get that are treated like a big deal. It’s no different than those diseases. Mental illnesses are illnesses you have no control over and that affect your daily lives. It’s not like a cold you can take over the counter medicine for and feel better in a week. Depression is feeling worse day after day. It’s hating yourself more and more every time you look in the mirror. Depression affects you in so many ways that where it happens in the brain hasn’t been discovered one hundred percent. It affects so many different areas of your brain

Only a handful of people know this about me, however one year ago I was diagnosed with moderate suicidal depression. Depression is a mental illness that not only affects how you mentally perceive reality, it affects how your brain processes and executes your actions as well. Depression has not only changed my ways of contemplating my everyday “complications”, but it has changed my belief about inner and self strength completely. Let me tell you, my depression is the reason I am writing about my belief, in gaining strength from desperate times.

Way too often people are, in a way, forced to deal with their depression on their own, because no one around them knows exactly what depression is or how to respond to it. One opinion says that people are okay with that because

My depression was so bad that there were many times that I would cry in my husband’s arms for no real reason at all. I felt safe there and he would just listen to me and hold me. I wasn’t sleeping at night, my mind was racing, it wouldn’t shut down, so I could sleep. I knew I needed help and I saw my doctor. She already knew about everything with our daughter, told her some things from my childhood and the things that our daughter’s friend had been going through and she agreed that it all probably triggered my depression. I was asked if I wanted to go into counselling and I did not. I felt I talk freely with anyone that I knew about my past and what I had been through, I did not need to discuss it with a stranger. So, medication was prescribed, I was started on 150mg of Wellbutrin daily and Ambien so I could sleep. After two weeks I returned to my doctor and nothing had changed except I was getting some sleep. She doubled my dosage of the Wellbutrin, that made the difference. Once I was stable with my mental health returning to more normal, the Wellbutrin was lowered to 150mg and I no longer needed the Ambien.

Overcoming depression has revealed to me the importance of mental health. The painful journey of climbing out of depression was one that ultimately made me stronger. After experiencing two years of academic success in college, it made sense to expect that my junior year will be even better, but unfortunately life took a different turn. Since high school until I took a leave of absence from college, my life had been under excruciating pressure. Pressure that originated through coming from an immigrant family, and understanding how much my parents had to sacrifice. I felt a lot of pressure to succeed in college, my older siblings had struggled which put even more emphasis on me as the next runner up. Being socioeconomically isolated, and

As I reflect on my father’s abandonment I admire how empowered my mother was by situation. She was empowered by her role as a mother to work hard to get a better life for us. Instead of letting the situation beat her down and leave her defeated she used it as fuel to better our lives. Although it was not ideal for me to develop depression I was empowered by it; I was also empowered by my family’s attitudes towards therapy. Because of my experience, I wanted to help other young people like myself as well as change attitudes surrounding therapy. My experience is what pushed me to become as social worker and my experience with depression can help me related to my clients who are experiencing depression.

Also known as the “common cold” of mental disorders, depression affects nearly 121 million people worldwide and almost 80% of them don’t even receive specific treatment. Some researchers even believe that in approximately 20 years, depression will be more widespread than dental caries. Apart from the devastating psychological effects, depression also increases the risk of: heart disease, stroke, obesity and sleep disorders. Among your friends and family members, there is at least one person who suffered or still suffers from a different form of depression.

You would have never known that almost a year ago I was battling severe depression. You would never know that month later I am. You would know unless you ask and honestly, even if you did, I might lie to you and say I'm just fine. Depression comes in all shapes and sizes, there is no look to depression. If you think there is please do yourself a favor and do some research. However, I cannot speak for who everybody deals with it, only myself.