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Broke Back Mountain-Personal Narrative

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Just like that, everything was upside down. All day Dave, Tom, and Carl had not a word to say- peculiar of their normal habits. Knowing myself I just needed something to do, something to laugh at, something…interesting. A light blub went off and I knew exactly what to do. So I timed it, and figured it would take precisely forty-five minutes for it to kick in, thus I left to finish some last minute grocery shopping. When I returned right at the mark, boy, was that exactly what I wanted. Before I even laid my foot on the porch I heard such odd things. It was Tom’s voice. “I love you. Dammit babe, you feel so good.” I couldn’t fathom what I heard as it was mixed with moans, provocative verbal gestures and constant wet slapping noises. I was confused. Then I began to get upset; how could he have brought a girl over and not invite me in on it? I barged into the …show more content…

Indeed it was Tom, but a girl? Not even close. It was my $130 futon, and that fapping noise, was yogurt. He was intensely slapping the futon with yogurt as if it was something straight out of movie. And I don’t mean Broke Back Mountain type of movie, it was worse. My damn futon was drenched in yogurt, and more over, my yogurt. It was even the Faqe yogurt with yogurt and honey for Christ’s sake! He was awkwardly yelling Happy Honeymoon, my love, over and over like a broken record. Simultaneously I hear a Quagmire laugh in the main parlor with the noise of a whimpering dog. Again, my dog. I ran over to the despair of my little Chuchu when I witnessed the unbelievable. Carl was on my damn chandelier, holding my beloved Chuchu in his arms laughing pedophilic, dangling 10 feet about the ground. As if nothing was wrong! So many things were running through my mind already and I was about to implode. How did he even get on the chandelier to begin with? Why was he laughing? Why aren’t his symptoms the same as Tom? Why

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