Cirice: A Narrative Fiction

I fought the thoughts of not being able to breathe and allowing myself to have a panic attack. I have never been very religious, but it got to a point where counting didn’t help and the moment that destroyed my health replayed over and over. It was the few seconds prior to blacking out, to when I looked up at my rearview mirror and saw a truck coming right for me because he fell asleep. These thirty minutes of darkness symbolized the endless emotional and physical pain I had endured and my return to the darkness, which I cannot explain. So I prayed, hoping that even though I couldn’t remember all the verses, it would end the spinning and the torture. These moments of fear were more than claustrophobia; it was also a concoction of sadness. Sadness, that uncovered my weak and fragile human being self to the world because I had still not healed. As these thoughts deepened, the bed of the MRI machine began to move outward and I knew it was over. I hadn’t realized that my body was trembling until they took the thick white sheet off me. It revealed my shaking legs covered in Goosebumps and so, I pulled my fuzzy green socks up and with their help got off the bed. I wondered if that’s what it was like to live through a traumatic event or was it me being dramatic? Either way, I shut the door leaving the loud and terrible noises behind me. As I walked out, I could never see myself laying in that room again, unable to escape the endless

At the age of 15, I woke up one day and felt as if my room was closing in on me. I lay in the middle of my bed as the walls kept coming closer, the ceiling lower, my space smaller and a feeling of being detached from the world. I opened my mouth, but no sound escaped. I was slipping into the darkness, this time, I felt as though no one could save me.

Everything around me began to blur, including the line between reality and something strange, a place where nothing exists. I could feel myself detaching, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was unplugged and could not find the cord to reconnect myself, my thoughts were screaming over one another and it became impossible to single one out. Everything was fake in that moment, my memories, my feelings, my family, my friends, it was all a hoax that I was stuck in, that I had to be released from. Feeling deceived and unhinged, I remained inert and supine in bed. I covered my face, which was daubed with my tears, and listened to my thoughts all telling me the same thing. I sat up and began to wobble towards the stairs. I heard my sister call out, “I’m leaving Emma!”, and my anxiety intensified. Everything blurred into a combination of panic and tears as my sister tried to calm me down. It took hours to bring me back to

The darkness is slowly scaring me making me feel overwhelmed. I can’t see anything. I feel suffocated and musty with all these boxes stocked next to me and on top of me. I’ve been here for so long and I feel so hopeless and useless. Then suddenly a bright light shines on me and I finally feel free from this very comfortless home. I wish someone would open this lid on top of me so I can breath in fresh air. But here I am staying strong and just patiently waiting. Then suddenly, I am lifted, opened, and place on top of a flat surface. I feel so nervous. I am hearing human voices. My wish is granted. It is my time, and I am free!

As I stepped outside, the cold suddenly rushed to me, wrapping me inside of it. The leaves rustled by on the garden path. My first thought was to go back inside, but I decided to be that wonderful father, and make sure that everything is ok. So I kept walking forward, being careful not to trip on the dark, bumpy dirt path. Then I heard the noise again, a faint vooing, like voo voo voo getting louder and softer. I followed the sound, and then all of a sudden, it stopped. I listened really hard, but i couldn’t hear anything anymore. My conscious said to just go back, but my body took another step forward, for what reason, I have no idea. Then my body felt like it was being stretched apart and all i could hear was VOO VOO

It was dark and alone and I felt the need to cry. One by one everyone I have ever loved showed up. My mom, my sister, my late girlfriend, my grandma… I could go on. Their eyes were on me and only me. I was the only stimulus in the room. The yelled at me. I was irrational . I had put them in a situation where they didn’t even know me anymore. I was the monster under the bed and I was the reason why people were scared. They yelled so loud to the point where I didn’t even know if they were screams anymore.

The pain was gone. I couldn’t feel the warm goo running down my face. I was...glad...that the pain was gone. But now there was a new pain. My mind felt like it was being pulled from somewhere in different directions. “Are you alright?” Suddenly there’s a voice. The pain dulled when she spoke. Her voice was like an angel, (Yes, I know that sounds cliche) but it’s true. Her voice was as soft as a cloud’s depiction, as sweet as a butterscotch candy. She sounded like she was as graceful as a dragon in a story. No matter what she did it was a beautiful flow of movement transformed into an art. Like something you’d never want to look away from. “Don’t be shy, You’re safe now. Come, follow my voice and you shall see the grace of the clouds and the eternal light from the sun and stars above. You can see all of the beauty in the world as if you were there. Come, follow my voice, and the wonders of the world are yours to experience. “Wi-Will I see you?” I ask her. There was silence. A long pause. “If that is your wish.”, she finally said. I moved. I actually felt like I was moving, like I was walking. I started to run. The pain from my mind was dissipating. I was almost there, I could see a silhouette in the whiteness. I felt clear, at peace. It felt nice. I found the source of the voice. She was incomprehensibly beautiful. She looked down at me, her eyes were full of kindness. She smiled lovingly at me, like she knew me. I paused. “A-Are you my

For a brief moment in time, I felt severed from reality. The myriad of emotions within me: sadness, outrage, chagrin, relief, were overwhelming and forced me into a state of numbness. I was then shocked back to reality by the people around me, and I started to make sense of the chaotic neural messages within my brain. One fact soon became clear - I was an utter failure.

I crippled down into a pit of confusion and sadness. Although this happened often, it always seemed to hit home hard as the months progressed. I arrived home and tossed myself into the soft comfort of my bed. Curled up into a ball, I tightened and released my grip on my white covers repeatedly, my body slowly dozing in and out of slumber as I watched small ripples in the outdoor pool shine upon my bedroom wall, the moonlight brightening it. Slowly the whispers began developing, and I allowed them. I needed to listen, they crowded my mind and maybe they were all right. So, there I sat in the silence. Jabbled words filled the room, they seemed to be everywhere. Woman, children, and men. I tensed at the words, trying to make out what they were telling me. In the background faint noises played, either from past songs the band and I had developed or ones that just kept coming. Threats or sarcastic remarks, occasional words remembered from my parents or enemies. They kept coming, intensifying by the second, getting louder and louder, until the point where... I snapped. I sat up and screamed into the darkness, pulling at my hair and kicking my feet, as if I were having some kind of a toddler tantrum. My breath quickened and my nose wrinkled, like how it always did when I got worked up. Slowly, and then all at once they stopped. My mind gathered in the silence, and I slammed back down into the pillow, turning my head into it, screaming once more until

I think i found my destination. Sheer magnitude of energy arose from my body. I felt unreal. Seriously. Have you ever stop and question your existence. Who am i and why am i here? Detachment and utter numbness of “reality”. This anomalous out-of-body experience rush must means this is the end me? “ Mike i have to go to the hospital i think i'm dying.” I said panicking at my inner experience. I was an onlooker of this universe - at least it seemed. “ Brenda please relax, youre not dying. and stop crying!” he said as he walked me to his car. “ come on, I am going to take you to my house.” . From this moment i knew this isn't what i wanted to

The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. But God has a Word for us when we are tempted to sin against Him. In 1 Cor. 10:13 (KJV) it is written, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear

Imagine you’re going into the hospital to get surgery, the surgeon invites in the anesthesiologist, who is going to put a needle in your arm filling you with drugs to put you to sleep they tell you to start counting backwards as you do you slowly start to drift away. You’re completely unconscious. As your surgeons are preparing to do the surgery you start to hear things, them talking, instruments rattling and you wonder am I supposed to be hearing this, aren’t I supposed to be unconscious and as you’re wondering this you feel the intense pain of the surgeon citing into your body. You start screaming you’re awake but no one can hear you because it’s all coming from inside your head. You later fall back asleep and wake up in recovery, saying

I was in a grassy meadow with a breath taking scenery, along with natural ambiences making a soothing melody; as if god himself made it especially for me. I felt fantastic, I felt light, I felt new. I asked myself, “what is this deceiving phenomenon?” With so many questions I had not the slightest clue where to go or what was going on. I heard a voice call out to me, a voice like no other I have heard before. It shook my body with authority and power. It was my uncle coming from the bushes. I thought to myself, he died several years ago. Showing my affection, I run to him. He stops me mid way and says to me, “Jack, I need to show you something.” I

One night I fell ill and slipped into a coma, this night was when he attacked. I still remember it as if it was yesterday. I was in a forest not far from where I lived, it was a dream however it felt real. I was being chased by the same creature I had come to trust over the years "don't you trust me?" He shouted as he chased me with a knife, I didn't respond. I did trust him once but no longer. Eventually he was in front of me, knife in hand. He was the one in control of my mind, as I was too weak to overpower him. He thrived on my weakness for it made him stronger. My trust in him was my downfall. He put his hand inside my chest, slowly and painfully merging with me. My heart and my stomach disappeared, all body fat gone. Blood no longer pumped through my body, I became cold, my teeth sharpened to a point. All muscle was gone, I was surviving completely on the power he had gained from eating my dreams for ten years. I saw everything the way he did, dark and cold. I appeared by my own hospital bed only to see myself die. At that moment is when I came here, for you see in order to survive I've been using your dreams as nourishment. You may be wondering why I'm telling you this story

From the time I was a young child I was plagued with nightmares. These nightmare continued thought my life into my teenage years. There were times that that the darkness surrounding me became so heavy, that I felt like it was drowning me.Pulling me deeper and deeper into its horrendous domain, until I could no longer see the light. In the wee hours of the morning I would awaken covered in sweat, panting, desperately trying to refill my lungs with oxygen. As the woeful tears rolled down my cheeks, I would close my eyes and picture ten