Cohabitation is a Bad Trend It was surprising to see the correlation between education and marriage. One quote in particular that caught my eye was “Perceptions of marriage… vary by educational level, with the highly educated feeling significantly more positively about marriage than the less educated population” (Sharp). This confirms that those who can clearly rationalize the advantages and disadvantages of the given choices will choose marriage. However, as our textbook points out, cohabitation is on the rise (168) and is becoming a trend.
If we look on page 171 (and I have an older book, so I apologize if the pg. #’s are off) Cox gives us a list of arguments in support of cohabitation. If we examine the list we find it to be entirely circumstantial evidence and opinion; there is no “real evidence” (concrete facts) to support the claim (Cox). The thing is; the argument is entirely opinion based. With that in mind, here is my opinion. I apologize for the length. In order to gain perspective on this topic I used three couple that I’m very familiar with. They are: my wife and I, whom have been married for 32 years, my son and his girlfriend (cohabitants for 3 years), and my mother and her “boyfriend” (cohabitants for 7 years). When asked about advantages of cohabitating, both my son and my mom’s friend opened with a cliché that begins with the words “why buy the cow”. I will not be using this cliché.
The first advantage that a couple realizes in marriage is the wedding
Hey, Mom I just want you to know that Bob and I are going to live together. I know that you and dad do not agree with it, nonetheless, I am an adult and I am going to move into his place tomorrow. How can a parent see a child go through with a decision like this and know that he or she is making a wrong choice? Sometimes a young adult may make a choice that a parent does not like. As a result, a young adult has now plunged into cohabitation. Does it really matter if you cohabitate before marriage? In finding the answer to this problem, I have come across two articles which help explain the pros and the cons of the question, “Should couples cohabitate or get married?” The first article is Sliding Versus Deciding: Inertia, the Premarital Cohabitation Effect. When a couple has “dedication commitment” (Stanley, Rhoades, and Markmann, 503) with each other, cohabitation works for partners. It is likely your partner will stay in the relationship and want to work it out no matter what happens. The second article is The Verdict on Cohabitation vs. Marriage. While many people think that cohabiting is really the in thing with life today. Marriage trumps over cohabitation. Some marriage may not have the “happily ever after” it still has a better start to their life as a couple.
Cohabitating has its pros and cons some of the advantages of it are: Sense of well-being, Delayed marriage, Knowledge about self and partner, and Safety. The disadvantages are: Feeling used or tricked, Problems with parents, Economic disadvantages, Effects on children, and other issues.
“In addition to the research showing the detriments of living together, several studies have discovered-with 80 percent to 94 percent accuracy-the variables that predict which marriages will thrive and which will not. This means unmarried couples can know in advance if they have a better-than-average chance of succeeding in marriage.” (pg.507). With an appeal to emotion, it is not a good idea to test a marriage as a result of making the relationship more worse and have more consequences that could lead to a divorce. Overall this essay, is an appeal to ignorance and a slippery slope. It constantly argues about the same topic with an additional lack of quality evidence to believe, since it is not specific to prove that the whole main argument would be
According to Dalton Conley, cohabitation is the “living together in an intimate relationship without formal, legal, or religious sanctioning”(Conley 458). From this, one can assume that cohabitation happens primarily between two people that are in a relationship. When looking at cohabitation within the United States, it has become more evident that it is slowly increasing in popularity. During the early ages, cohabitation was considered very scandalous and was frowned upon, but as the years progress, more and more couples start living together. Whether it is to experience the lifestyle they would have living together as if they were married or living together in order to save money, more and more people are living with their significant other.
Many couples find themselves cohabiting today because it is cheaper and more convenient while others take it as a step forward in their committed relationships. Regardless of reason cohabiting has become a union of choice. In recent years cohabitation has transformed from an act of deviance to a norm in many societies. We will be focusing on how time and social change determines cohabitation and divorce.
In this essay, “The Cohabitation Epidemic,” by Neil Clark Warren, is talking about why many people decide to live their lives in cohabitation instead of getting married right away. Older generations would look at cohabiting as being something bad or even immoral. In this century, this epidemic is something common and, notwithstanding, normal. Over the years, the U.S. Census Bureau has kept up with how this lifestyle has evolved. In 1970, they had 1 million people that were “unmarried-partner households,” and that number rose to 3.2 million in 1990. In the year 2000, they had 11 million people living in those situations.
First, the author states that those married couples who directly married without cohabitation have a lower divorce rate than those having cohabitation before marriage. Warren intends to prove that marriage provides stable relationship between a couple and cohabitation undermines such a relationship. The premises Warren used to support his claim are a result from one study and David and Barbara’s review. The problem here is based on the evidence Warren provided; it is difficult to conclude that marriage can hold people together and cohabitation may destroy such stable relationship between a couple. One reason is the sample size used in the study is too small compared to the millions of people who cohabit. Hasty generalization makes this premise questionably lead to the conclusion. The other premise which is the review from David and Barbara is also not trustable because no detailed evidence is provided to
According to the article, “The Negative Effects of Cohabitation” by Linda J. Waite, cohabitations are very short lived and they generally last for about a year or a little more until the idea of marriage comes up or the relationship is just disposed. Cohabitating couples “break up at a much higher rate than marriages.” Usually in cohabitation, one of the partners expect the relationship to be permanent while the other partner does not. Most couples will choose cohabitation to try to avoid “formal constraints or responsibilities.” Cohabitation couples lack stability in the relationship and are likely to produce less than married couples. Cohabiters expect each person to support themselves and failure to do so threatens the relationship. It prevents them from being together as one source, to support each during the most difficult times. These relationships are unstable because no is willing to commit and that is what causes the downfall of a
One advantage would be that it is socially acceptable. Doe did not know how to present her son’s girlfriend to her companions. As she said, “How do I present her---as my son’s roommate? His spouse? His spice, as one facetious (mischievous) friend suggested?” (222). This shows the presence of awkwardness when she has to bring up her son’s situation to close friends and families. Cohabitation is not what everyone is used to.To illustrate the benefits, marriage offers social recognition as my aunt and her boyfriend is an example of this circumstance. My aunt had a child about a year ago and her relationship with her boyfriend is still not legitimate through a valid form of certification. Gossiping with friends can lead to false judgement and negative characterization about my aunt’s life. This happened especially when my aunt introduced her new child to her friends. My aunt’s friend believed that she was already married; however, that is incorrect. This incident led to confusion and misunderstanding between the two of them. Furthermore, Cohabiting with a significant other can be a bothersome for people as it is not socially acceptable for most and has drawbacks compared to
W. Bradford Wilcox and Philip N. Cohen have different perspective on cohabitation and parenting. Wilcox is against cohabiting couples raising children. Wilcox has sort of defined the types of cohabiting couples, but it appears to have been lost in his argument (Cohen, “Cohabitation Dustup Followup Thoughts”). Cohen describes the two types of cohabiting family. The biological or adoptive parents who are unmarried are one type of cohabitating couple (Cohen, “Cohabitation Dustup Followup Thoughts”). The other type is one biological parent (normally a woman) and a partner who is not the actual parent to the child called step-cohabitating arrangements (Cohen, “Cohabitation Dustup Followup Thoughts”). Cohen has written two blog posts discussing and rebuking Wilcox stance.
Bruce Wydick argued that, “cohabitation may be narrowly defined as an intimate sexual union between two unmarried partners who share the same living quarter for a sustained period of time’’ (2). In other words, people who want to experience what being in a relationship truly is, tend to live under one roof and be more familiar with one-another. Couples are on the right path to set a committed relationship where the discussion about marriage is considered as the next step. However, many people doubt the fact as to live or not together with their future
Although marriage has been a central factor and gives meaning to human lives, the change in people’s lifestyles and behaviors through a long period of social development has resulted in alternate choices such as being single or nonmarital living. As a result, cohabitation has become more popular as a trendy life choice for young people. The majority of couples choose cohabitation as a precursor to marriage to gain a better understanding of each other. However, there are exceptions, such as where Thornton, Azinn, and Xie have noted: “In fact, the couple may simply slide or drift from single into the sharing of living quarters with little explicit discussion or decision-making. This sliding into cohabitation without
Cohabitation is defined as a man and woman living in the same household and having sexual relations while not being married. There is relatively little data on health outcomes for people who have cohabitated, although there is some evidence that cohabitating couples have lower incomes (15% of cohabitating men are jobless while 8% of married men are jobless) and there may be negative academic effects for children of cohabitating mothers (Jay, 2012). Cohabitation rates are highest among those who have never married with just over a quarter of people surveyed reporting cohabitation before their first marriage (Jay, 2012). Of these, half reported that they expected their cohabitation to end in marriage; about one quarter to one third of cohabitations end either in marriage or dissolution of the relationship within 3 years (Jay, 2012). Further, cohabitation rates are highest for those who have not completed college, accounting for all but 12% of men and women reporting that they are living with their partners (Jay, 2012). Cohabitation and marriage are two significant decisions college students will make, but very little is known about what college students think about living together before marriage. Given the nearly 50% divorce rate in the United States (Jay, 2012), understanding how young adults view cohabitation as on option for life relationships needs further investigation.
“Marriage rates have fallen during the same period that cohabitation has become more common. Reports from both France and Australia indicate that couples in those countries have been forming unions at a rather constant rate despite a decline in marriage rates, with the difference being made up by cohabitation (Bumpass, Sweet 616).” Living together thinking it will lead to marriage is not showing to be the trend.
Opponents of cohabitation commonly cite statistics that indicate that couples who have lived together before marriage are more likely to divorce, and that unhappiness, ill health, poverty, and domestic violence are more common in unmarried couples than in married ones. Cohabitation advocates, in turn, cite limited research that either disproves these claims or indicates that the statistical differences are due to other factors than the fact of cohabitation itself.