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Emotional Processes Paper

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Description of Emotional Processes A genogram is frequently used by psychologists as a way to map out relationships in a family and help gain insight into how its’ members interact. I was married for 17 years to someone whose family of origin shared very few personality traits with the members of my own family. However I am struck by the similarities in the way both of our families function. Very similar patterns of functioning become clear on the genogram diagram. It put a lot of issues into perspective as I proceed through the process of interviewing, diagramming, and writing about my history. To complete this assignment I interviewed four different people. First, I had the opportunity to interview my ex-mother-in-law. We have a …show more content…

The readings from our Emotions, Attachment, and Trauma class brought that self- work into clearer focus for me. I have come to view substance abuse, mental illness, and even many physical illnesses, as symptoms of a deeper, larger process. I see myself as having a fearful, avoidant attachment style. When I was younger and getting married I can see that I had no organized strategy for getting my needs met. I wasn’t even aware of having any needs. All I knew was that I was angry and disappointed in my relationships. At the same time, I depended on those very relationships for my happiness and security. The changes for me did not come even with divorce or the long isolation that followed. I picked up new symptoms in the ensuing years. Drama accompanied me everywhere I went. I developed emotional, mental, and finally severe physical symptoms. I didn’t occupy my own body. I had opinions on everything, but no self-knowledge whatsoever. I stayed out of intimate relationships completely, out of a fear of being engulfed by them. I came to self work out of complete and utter desperation. Despite the anxious, fearful style of relating that had been passed down to me, I always knew that I was deeply loved by my parents. Their own anxieties did not keep me from that understanding. It was that love that fostered just enough love for myself to get help. I left no stone unturned …show more content…

Much of this info is gathered from my dad’s memories. From my generation to present, there is a much richer detail provided. I am unable to express adequately in the diagram the level to which my own father was fused with his family of origin. He was the only sibling who ever lived out of town. We returned home for all holidays and vacations. Once here, my parents would argue over how much time we would spend with each family of origin, as my mother was equally fused with her own family. If you will note, there is at least one person (from my generation on) who other family members focus on. My families theme could be, “there is nothing wrong with me.” “I’d be happy if (fill in the blank) would straighten up.” My parents were unhappily married and hyper focused on the three of us to the complete detriment of their own marriage. Simultaneously, my mother’s mental health deteriorated. Everyone’s anxiety at this time was focused on my mother. In both of my sister’s families there is at least one individual everyone is focused on. Had I done this genogram three to four years ago, my children’s focus would have been on me. Ten years before that, their dad. Also clear on the genogram, in my own little family, we were cut off from my ex-husband for a time. That relationship has been repaired as I have learned to focus on my own reactions and leave his to him to solve. This relationship, as well as

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