Grief is an acknowledgement that we loved someone, and the nature of our relationship with that person determines how we grieve. Grief is an exclusive process; one that is as different as the person experiencing it is. As Hospice volunteers we must respect each person’s individual grieving practices and refuse to give in to the temptation to advise others to follow our exact paths. Although those of us who have also experienced such loss can sympathize with other’s feelings, we must be attentive to the fact that they are mourning the loss of a relationship that was exclusively theirs. As Hospice volunteers, we must consider this exclusivity and abstain from persisting that the grieving person grieve any way other than what is best for …show more content…
The death of an infant or fetus should never be ignored. In this case, grief is often negated, and this is also the case with the death of an adult child. Parents experience real grief in these cases and the minimization of that grief only makes it harder to achieve acceptance (Leming & Dickinson, 2011, p. 493). The death of the adult child leaves parents with the feeling that the child’s responsibilities have not been completed and recognize the loss that their grandchildren will endure all of their lives. This is again, a break in the chain of the assumed cycle of life (Leming & Dickinson, 2011, pp. 505-506). In adults, in general there are often many cases of disenfranchised grief. Loss of a grandparent, sibling, or even a parent, is negated because the focus of grief attention is placed on other members of the family. Always remember they too are grieving, and their grief is just as important and should be validated (P.G.White, 2009).
Grief in children is also different depending on the relationship they have with the dying person. There are, however, many commonalities about age of the child.
Preschool children may not fully understand what death is, but they will notice a difference in the family “routine”. They either may be emotional, through crying or displays of anger, and they can withdraw from other members of the family (The Jason Program, n.d.). By age six, although the child may seem not to be affected by the
After interviewing the social workers Hope and Hodge (2006) found that they had observed similar patterns regarding the factors that affect the adjustment of children who lost a parent to death. Boys tend to show externalizing behaviors whereas girls tend to show internalizing behaviors due to the lost of a parent. They found that the cognitive level rather than the age of the child affects their adjustment more. Therefore younger children and preadolescents seem to have more difficulty adjusting to the death of a parent than adolescents. The results did not support earlier findings that sudden death present more difficulty adjusting than expected death. Most of the participants reported that sudden and expected death is equally traumatic to children. The participants also said that the adjustment of the caretaker is important for a positive adjustment for the children. The caretaker must be able to grieve while supporting the child’s need to grieve. This study shows that children of different ages and genders react different to the death of a parent.
Although the phenomenon of grief is a normal, healthy response to the death of someone loved, for children it is a traumatic ripping away of everything they have known. As a result, everyday life becomes utter chaos while familiarity and comfort vanish, emotionally propelling the griever into uncharted territory with innumerable questions and fears. When those uncertainties are not dealt with appropriately, grieving children tend to imagine circumstances that may be far worse than reality” (Pond, 2013, p. 113).
Bereavement and loss - The loss of a loved one such as a parent, sibling, grandparent or friend can turn a child’s world upside down. Grief can bring all sorts of emotions, upset, sadness, hurt and anger because they are gone and, fear because the child may be afraid of other loved ones dying too. A child can be affected by grief for a long period of time, and this may impact on their emotional and physical
The purpose of hospice is to effectively provide palliative care to terminally ill patients and their families, it is available to any age, religion or race. According to the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, “hospice provides expert medical care, pain management, and emotional and spiritual support expressly tailored to the patient’s needs and wishes Support is provided to the patient’s loved ones as well” (NHPCO, 2015). In
The last step is reorganization and restoration. This phase does not occur quickly. Here people begin to sort out suspicions and attempt to identify what was lost. There is a sense of release, renewed energy, more socialization, better judgments and more stable eating and sleeping habits. Readaptation to the loss does not mean forgetting. Adults can begin to restore emotional well being by acknowledging feelings, asking for support, reestablishing routines and reaching out to others. They can care for the needs of children by listening to their feelings and fears, providing information to clarify what occurred and whether it can affect their lives and by reestablishing routines that will comfort and reassure. There are many factors that influence the reaction of a child when death is announced to them. Factors include, the way the news is
Grief is the act following the loss of a loved one. While grief and bereavement are normal occurrences, the grief process is a social construct of how someone should behave. The acceptable ways that people grieve change because of this construct. For a time it was not acceptable to grieve; today, however, it is seen as a necessary way to move on from death (Scheid, 2011).The grief process has been described as a multistage event, with each stage lasting for a suggested amount of time to be considered “normal” and reach resolution. The beginning stage of grief is the immediate shock, disbelief, and denial lasting from hours to weeks (Wambach, 1985). The middle stage is the acute mourning phase that can include somatic and emotional turmoil. This stage includes acknowledging the event and processing it on various levels, both mentally and physically. The final stage is a period of
It is believed that children do not experience grief until one has been through adolescents and can distinguish thoughts and feeling from emotions. According to Glass (1991), a child can grasp the notion of death during early childhood; and can begin to grief as early as six months (Willis, 2002). Willis (2002) believes from a moderate perspective that children begin to understand death and grieve approximately at three to four years old. Many times, small children are affected by loss and their grief is often underestimated. Children between the ages of three to five years old fall into stage one. During stage one; children view death as a going away from one place to another. It is believed that the deceased person has just relocated and is living in a new location. Stage two consists of children between the ages of five to nine years of old. In this phase, death can be fixed. It is thought that if one
An “off-time” family life cycle transition is a non-normative event that happens outside the expected life cycle and may cause trauma or a conflict to the family of the child with the disability. These events that happen are known as unexpected transitions which are experienced at an unanticipated or unusual time during the life cycle transition of a family who have a child with disabilities (Turnbull, Turnbull, Erwin, Soodak, & Shogren, 2011). For example the demise of an older person may be considered a natural part of the life cycle because as one grows old, it is expected that the individual will die eventually. Though, death at whatever age may cause families to struggle emotionally as the passing of a loved one is still hard to bear and accept. But though in grief, the family celebrates the life of a person who has lived to a ripe old age as they leave behind numerous memories which are shared among the family members. These memories have the effect of comforting the family and relieving stress. But the passing of a child is hard to accept, causing a lot of stress to the parents and the family Turnbull (2011), as such a death is generally regarded as cruel twists of fate. Meaning, this was not expected in the family cycle. The parents of the deceased child will be in denial, face heartbreak and loneliness. Society might look at the passing of such a child with disabilities as a relief to the
When a loved one dies, children handle their grief differently than adults, but they still often grieve very deeply in their own way. Much of the grief children experience comes from the fact that children often lose friends to a sudden death such as a traffic accident. The loss of older loved ones may be more anticipated, such as
The passing of a loved one is a universal experience and every person will experience loss or heartache, at some point in their life. Some people obviously appear upset, some do not, grief is individual, dependent on; age, gender, development stage, personality, their normal stress reactions, the support available, their relationships or attachments, other death experiences, how others react to their own grief around them (Thompson & Hendry, 2012).
“Ordinary people” everywhere are faced day after day with the ever so common tragedy of losing a loved one. As we all know death is inevitable. We live with this harsh reality in the back of our mind’s eye. Only when we are shoved in the depths of despair can we truly understand the multitude of emotions brought forth. Although people may try to be empathetic, no one can truly grasp the rawness felt inside of a shattered heart until death has knocked at their door. We live in an environment where death is invisible and denied, yet we have become desensitized to it. These inconsistencies appear in the extent to which families are personally affected by death—whether they
Nader and Salloum (2011) made clear that, at different ages, children differ in their understanding of the universality, inevitability, unpredictability, irreversibility, and causality of death. They believed, despite the increasing understanding with age of the physical aspects of death, a child may simultaneously hold more than one idea about the characteristics of death. However, factors that complete the determining nature of childhood grieving across different age groups may be a difficult task for a number of reasons including their environment in means of the support they have available, the child’s nature in terms of their personality, genetics, and gender, coping skills and previous experiences, the developmental age, grieving style, whether or not therapy was received, and the relationship to the deceased (Nader & Salloum, 2011). Crenshaw (2005) found that according to our current understanding of childhood traumatic grief and normal grief, thoughts and images of a traumatic nature are so terrifying, horrific, and anxiety provoking that they cause the child to avoid and shut out these thoughts and images that would be comforting reminders of the person who died. The distressing and intrusive images, reminders, and thoughts of the traumatic circumstances of the death, along with the physiological hyper-arousal associated with such re-experiencing, prevent the child from proceeding in a healthy way with the grieving process (Crenshaw, 2005). McClatchy, Vonk, and
When a child dies the parents are left with extreme difficult challenges. Bereaved parents often experience intense enduring pain (Wing, Armistead & Burge- Callaway, 2001). And often leads to the most complicated grief one can think of (Znoj & Maercker, 2010). There is limited support from medical professionals, leaving most parents to rely on each other for support. In regards to the parent’s surroundings, parents may also experience problems with their community. Friends and family of the parents may have a hard time fully understanding the loss of the child and to what extent of grief the family is
To be able to help children with this stage and the following stages of grief, we first need to learn what they understand about death and how it works. There are “five principle
People handle death in many different ways. People’s culture, age and gender all have an important impact on how they will cope with the death of a loved one. It’s important for nurses to understand all aspects that play into how someone deals with death so they can better help provide the correct care and support. This paper will explain what grief is and the different stages of the grieving process, how children, being male or female, and diverse cultures cope with death, and how nurses can better support people depending on these groups.