Eulogy For Friend

Connie is a young, immature character, who is incredibly self-conscious about her looks, and how people view her. She has a habit of constantly looking at herself in the mirror, and is often scolded at by her mother. Her mother compares Connie to her older sister, June, who receives all the praise. Her mother favors June because she is grown up and makes contributions to the home, as Connie is just in her own realm, usually daydreaming. This creates resentment towards her mother, and Connie wishes that her mother was dead. This most likely fuels her to gain the independence that she is looking for and become the mature adult she acts like outside the home. Connie had completely different

Connie does not want to be the nice and innocent pretty girl. She wants to be known for being very sexual. In the story she makes fun of her sister June because she is very modest and not sexual and causes conflict with their family. Also June is overweight twenty-four years old and still living at home. But she also does chores and does them without complaining to her parents. While Connie is a way from home she has two totally different ways of acting. Be that as it may, Arnold friend ‘s landing in her home drives her two sides to consolidate fiercely. As it were, Connie is not completely sexual until Arnold's interruption into her home until then; her sexuality was something outside of her "actual" self, the self that she permitted her family to see. Arnold also has a friend named Ellie. While Arnold drives up to Connie’s house Ellie stays in the car and she listens to music while Arnold speaks to Connie. Also Connie’s mother shows a large amount of frustration towards her and the way she acts and dresses. Connie and her mother fight constantly. But towards the end of the story when Connie is attacked my Arnold she cries out to her

Arnold friend finds Connie “cute” (321) and a “pretty girl” (324). So now the reader knows for sure that Connie is very beautiful on the outside. The quote, “I took a special interest in you” that was said by Arnold friend, assures the reader that other characters do find her appealing. Now that the reader knows that Connie is beautiful and that other characters find her pretty, he/she understand why Connie has two personalities. In order to keep getting attention from the other characters she has to keep up a good appearance. Connie’s mother kept comparing her to sister June, “‘Why don’t you keep your room clean like your sister? How’ve you got your hair fixed-what the hell stinks? Hair spray? You don’t see your sister using that junk.’ . . .If June’s name was mentioned her mother’s tone was approving, and if Connie’s name was mentioned it was disapproving.” (317, 319) Connie’s mother did not approve of what she does. Connie kept doing things that her mother did not like. Connie did not want to be like her sister, and yet her mother kind of raises her to be like her sister. The reader knows that Connie does not have a good relationship with her sister. The reader start to feel bad for Connie, she has to be like the person she doesn’t like to be approved by her mother. Now the reader can fully understand why she does not have a good relationship with her

The beginning of the short story enlightens the reader into the relationship that Connie has with her mother. Connie’s mother does not agree with her admiration for herself. This is due to Connie’s mother’s own insecurities. Oates writes, “Her mother had been pretty once too, if you could believe those old snapshots in the album, but now her looks were gone and that was why she was always after Connie” (Oates 3043). Connie was aware that her mother was jealous of the way she looked and envied her young adolescence. Her mother was nagging her daily and constantly comparing her to her sister. The constant comparison and nagging left Connie to deal with internally judging herself. Oates expresses Connie’s strong unhappiness with her mother by stating “…but around his bent head Connie’s mother kept picking at her until Connie wished her mother was dead and she herself was dead and it was all over” (3043). Connie’s frustration with her mother lies deep within her internal judgments. She repeatedly obsesses over her mother’s words and desires attention from older males. Even though she does not feel as if she fits in with her sister June, there are some characteristics that she likes about her sister. One of these characteristics is that June is older. Since June is older, Connie is allowed to go out when her sister does which allows her to embrace her rebellious adolescence. She wishes she was older and battles with her internal misconception of her age. In the story, Connie is at an age where she is experimenting with her surroundings. Young girls are regularly comparing themselves to their friends and their elders. The obsession of comparison leaves Connie continuously striving to be better and to increase her attractiveness. Her misconceptions suggest to her that she needs to be more sexual. Her varying internal conflicts leave her with a void that she tries to fill otherwise.

Connie does not have any control over what people do to her, however, the criticism she takes from her mother whenever she compares her to her sister June combined with her mother’s insults gives Connie a low self-esteem and insecurity about herself; she thinks she is “less worthy” because of this and makes her think her beauty is everything, that she is nothing without it.

In the story, Connie is faced with two internal conflicts throughout the whole story. She desires independence from her family and wants to go on by herself into society and blossom into who she really is. Constantly looking for sex appeal and wanting to look pretty, is her way of becoming who she is. She would “glance into mirrors checking other peoples faces to make sure her own was alright” (Oates 1). It is obvious that she wants to make sure she is always looking good, trying to fit in with the rest of society. Her and her friend would lie to their parents saying they were going to the movies, but instead they would meet boys. Connie has an interest in boys and is willing to lie to to her parents so she could see them. In my opinion, she is almost rushing into things because she wants to know what the big deal is. She fantasies about them, “…the rest of the time Connie spent around the house…getting in her mothers way and thinking, dreaming about the boys she met” (Oates 2). It is evident that she has an interest in boys and wants a sexual relationship, but has to hide it from society. In search to accomplish her goals, she is face with an obstacles with herself and family and the other with Arnold Friend.

The introduction of the main character Connie, “Her name was Connie,”signals that it is being told by a third person narrator. This narrative voice stays closely aligned to Connie's point of view. The reader learns what her thoughts are, but the narrator provides no additional information or judgment of the situation. For instance, Connie's harsh thoughts of her sister and mother are discussed: "now (her mother's) looks were gone and that was why she was always after Connie," but it is clear that this assessment is Connie's and not the narrator's.

In her sorrow for the behavior of her daughter Connie, the mother often expresses a bit more appreciation and consideration for the older sister June. She declares somewhere in the story, ‘’Why don’t you keep your room clean like your sister? How’ve you got your hair fixed-what the hell stinks? Hair spray? You don’t see your sister using that junk’’ (Henderson ). It is well-known that anything in excess is harmful, but Connie does not seem to have been aware of this. Connie’s behavior, far away from doing good to her, exposes her to her sexual predator as an easy prey.

In the story, Oates uses interior monologue and third person limited omniscient narration to show how her parents neglect contributes to Connie’s vulnerability and how Arnold Friend is successful in his strategies of seduction. It’s obvious that Connie’s parents always have neglected her. Her mom is always evaluating her and critiquing her physical appearance. She is continuously comparing her to her sister June and Connie feels like she can never be on the same level as June. Since her sister is responsible and respectful Connie gets a great deal of freedom. Her dad has no sense to watch over or protect Connie, he just comes home and goes to bed, isn't curious about what is going on, he is extremely disengaged from her life. Connie thinks

Her mother is constantly in a state of disapproval, always favoring Connie's sister June who is more mature. Connie is mostly concerned with how pretty she looks, while her mother scoldes her for it "Stop gawking at yourself, who are you? You think you're so pretty?". Her father mostly works and when he came home, he is too tired to talk and only went to bed. Connie's mother made her want "to throw up sometimes" (361). The father of one of connies friends drops her off and some friends at a shopping plaza, so that they could go see a movie and hangout. However, they would often spend their time else where, usually a drive-in restaurant and meet boys. One night, she is invited by a boy named Eddie to have some dinner. Connie accepts and goes out with him leaving her friend behind at the drive-in restraunt. After spending some time eating, Connie looks up and meets the eyes of a man in a gold convertable, the man grin's and says "Gonna get you, baby" (362), Eddie didnt notice anything. The next morning, since it was summer vacation, Connie was back to spending time around the house with nothing to do. Her mother would drag her from her day dreams and give her something to do around the

Connie’s self conscious comes out when he starts talking about her family. Arnold Friend tried to use reverse psychology on Connie my telling her what she wants to hear, but also telling her that she should just leave her family and go with him because her family isn't concerned about her at all. So he mentioned that he can be the person to love and cherish her the way she’s meant to be.. Connie was shocked when he said this because he seems to know how her family treats her and that she doesn't feel wanted in the family. So she is characterized that she listens to what she wants to hear, but it makes her also lean closer to Arnold Friend because she notices that someone seems to care about her and that’s all she needs.

Thus, based on her wrong idea about identity, Connie contemns her older sister, June, for being too plain and considers that the true reason of her mother’s grumbles is that she is not pretty anymore, which reflects that Connie is childish in her judgments. Besides that, the fact that Connie herself is pretty makes her confident in her charm and full of vague desires and hopes for the future, including her dream about love. “Connie sat with her eyes closed in the sun, dreaming and dazed with the warmth about her as if this is were a kind of love, the caresses of love, and her mind slipped over onto thoughts of the boy she had been with the night before and how nice he had been, how sweet it always was, not the way someone like June would suppose but sweet, gentle, the way it was in movies and promised in songs”(Oates 654). The description about how Connie thinks about love in her mind reflects Connie is a girl whose mind is filled with daydreams and popular music. All her knowledge about love is taken from the limited world she lives in, which is popular music and

When the narrator first encounters the girl, his friend's older sister, he can only see her silhouette in the “light from the half-opened door”. This is the beginning of his infatuation with the girl. After his discovery, he is plagued by thoughts of the girl which make his daily obligations seem like “ugly, monotonous, child's play”. He has become blinded by the light. The narrator not only fails to learn the name of his “girl”, he does not realize that his infatuation with a woman considerably older than himself is not appropriate. He relishes in his infatuation, feeling “thankful [he] could see so little” while he thinks of the distant “lamp or lighted window” that represents his girl. The narrator is engulfed by the false light that is his futile love.

Whereas Connie is considered beautiful, June is seen as “plain and chunky” (496). Regardless of their differences, both girls have one thing in common, they both love to spend time with friends and Connie uses this to her advantage. On several occasions, a friend’s father has left them off at the mall, however once they arrive, Connie travels across the street “ to a drive-in restaurant where older kids hung out” ( 497). It is here that she comes into contact with her future assailant, but at the time she ignored his attention.

Connie is a self-absorbed, beautiful fifteen-years-old girl. Connie and her mother are at odds. Connie has a twenty-four-year-old sister, June, who still stays with her parents, but works as a secretary at a school where Connie learns. June is dutiful and a homely