Five Mistakes Step Parents Make

This conflict between mates leaves the child feeling at risk of losing one or both parents. Children see themselves as the only pain relief or distraction for their parents. Kids feel over whelmed, especially if addressing their own need is seen as misbehavior.

In the story “Stepdaughters” Written by Max Apple, we have a perfect example of what is a “dysfunctional family”. In the story, the daughter named Steph idolizes her dad she has all his old things and even a poster of his face on her wall. Her step dad said that that made him feel “timid and sentimental’ and that he “dreaded going near Stephanie’s room” Max Apple, “Stepdaughters” Initiation Stories: An Album page 129 because maybe he just didn’t feel accepted as a father figure to her. Stephanie also creates a club type group called “the stepdaughters” hence the name of the story. The steps are essentially a group of step children that meet to discuss family issues together.

In today’s society, divorce is on the rise and has been for the past few decades. As the rate increases, so does the rate of remarriage. If there is a child whose biological parents divorce and remarry, the increase of stepfamilies occurs as well. This concept is the concept of what the reading this week connects to in the stepfamilies chapter of Floyd and Morman’s (2014) book. This chapter has truly spoken to me as a child of a remarriage by the age of 8 and 14and how difficult it was growing up dealing with two different stepfamilies. Reading this chapter this week gave me some more insight into how I have communicated within my stepfamilies.

Blended families are created from a diverse sets of needs as a result of family life changes, such as divorce or death, and these changes result in situations where both adults and children find themselves living with step-family members stemming from both sides of the no longer intact family structure. Deal (2014), a leading author and marriage therapist, likens the blended family to a 3-D puzzle that a person is trying to complete without the benefit of instructions or even a picture as a point of reference. Each family is different in roles and their structure; however, most members desire healthy outcomes and basic principles for creating well-functioning family units.

Normally, when families are in the transitioning process to form a “blended family”, things sometimes do not go smoothly. It is understood that the important factors of step parenting are not easy to follow, but over the years, the unimaginable has happened in stepfamilies when the right avenue is taken. In the beginning, some children might not comply with the change. Sometimes, even the parents involved tend to become somewhat flustered during the process. The above stated family change can and will overall create a small amount of disagreement. The breakdown of what should happen should allow a smoother transition and less drama if followed carefully.

If the child is displaying unnecessary behavior when you are in conversation with another adult, the child may want to be included or feel left out. By holding the childs hand and continuing with the conversation, the child will feel included and begin to calm himself.

Deal (2014) uses his professional clinical experiences as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Professional Counselor combined with his professional experience in local church ministry and family ministry consulting to create the book The smart stepfamily: Seven steps to a healthy family. Deal (2014) purpose of writing this book is to help the blended families understand and learn how to integrate or merge the two families into a healthy successful stepfamily (p 21-22). Deal (2014) is straightforward about integrating a stepfamily is a difficult task for today’s families since it involves merging two distinctive family histories, styles, numerous personalities, preference, traditions, relational past and loyalties. He highlights

there is always some love and unity between parents and children. However, as time goes on and

As a parent, it is easy to inadvertently allow these feelings to affect your relationship with your child, but it is important that you do not. Your child is not intentionally attempting to hurt you. An insecure attachment style does not mean he dislikes you or that you are a bad parent. Temperament is a product of many different factors, and you are not to blame. It is important that you recognize this and do not allow your feelings to affect your relationship with your child. If you are feeling rejected by your child, make an extra effort to treat him with love and affection so you don’t unknowingly distance yourself from him.

Sometimes they're held for emotional ransom or forced to lie about one parent to please the other. Many times they are forced to choose one parent over the other. No matter the outcome, the child's home life will have changed forever. Sometimes these changes are for the good as one or both parents learn new parenting skills. Sometimes it's only the beginning of constant change in their life.

There could be many instances where it would be appropriate to politely change the subject, even when young children are talking to each other. There are certain subjects that shouldn’t be discussed between two young children and your child would then change the

They should sit the child alone with just themselves. They should be firm in there voice and tell them why they made the decision. For example, they could say,” We feel that you should not be allowed access to your biological parents because, we feel that they could potentially put you in harm or hurt you emotionally.”

Its not right for a parent to be talking bad about the other parent to their child, yes they got separated but that doesnt give you one right to do that. Most families are divorced and have children on the street, dead, sick, or abandon. Your kids are also hurt with the separation don’t make it any harder one them. In this case no matter how down you feel they need you and it hurts them more knowing they won’t wake up to both of y’all. It’s hard for a kid when their parents live in two different

To begin with uninvolved parenting can be very damaging for the child. It can cause mental and physical damage. It leaves kids feeling useless and not wanted, like they did something to make their parents not care anymore. They think that it is their fault and they will forever ponder what they did to make this happen. Kids will do anything to get their parents attention. Most of the time they will do something so drastic that it will ruin their lives even more. They crave attention so bad that they start doing drugs, alcohol, cutting themselves. They end up getting involved with the worst people because their “friends” give them attention and count on them. Sometimes uninvolved parenting teaches the kid that ignoring people is the way to live. Then the kid ends up not being able to maintain relationships because they have been so excluded and ignored by their parents.

Nearly half of current marriages are remarriages (Amato, 2000), and siblings experience new socialization opportunities and challenges when their parents remarry and new stepfamily relationships are formed (Coleman, Ganong, & Fine, 2001; Hetherington, 1988). Unless the relationship between a biological parent and an adolescent has been resolved, the addition of a stepparent may result in resentment against the biological parent and hostility against the step parent. When an adolescent has fantasies about reconciliation between the biological parents, it affects their outlook of the stepparent as the relationship is seen as being temporary. This can lead an adolescent to act hostile towards a stepparent due to the belief that the stepparent interfered with the previous relationship. Similarity, the addition of a stepparent may result in some adolescents rebelling because of the added parental figure that is responsible for them and the idea that now the