High School Should Be The Four Best Years Of My Life

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When I was thirteen, I remember people telling me to prepare for high school to be the four best years of my life. Looking back, it saddens me that I can barely identify a single day that is anything worth remembering. Since I was six years old, I had struggled with accepting my body. Many of my earliest fears are ones regarding weight, fat, how people gain weight, and how being overweight is “bad”. It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly when my issues with food began to surface; however, I think it’s roots can trace back to when I was only twelve. I can vividly recall asking my mom what foods contained sugar as I was secretly trying to avoid the sweet “calorie-laden” substance. I never would have guessed at the path that this process of …show more content…

These rules ensured I would forever remain in control, thus preventing the possibility of this “average” persona from encroaching on my life. I wouldn’t eat any more than one thousand calories, I wouldn’t snack, nor would I ever eat out. My nighttime reading became internet searches on low-calorie meals and desserts, workout routines that “shredded” calories and weight-loss “tips and tricks”. I quickly became obsessed with food; most of which I would never allow myself to eat. The eating disorder I had developed to help control my life soon became my whole life. My health began to deteriorate along with my energy. My teammates whom were all previously much slower runners than myself started to pass me on the track; yet, despite my fear of becoming weak, my eating disorder gave me confidence. In a sense, my disease became my new best friend, offering comfort that I could get from nowhere else. In my warped way of seeing the world, I was the only one in control. When my friends would eat “junk food” or skip a day at the gym, I laughed to myself at their “innocence”. I would think, “Clearly, I know something about control that you guys do not. This is what will make me better, stronger and more successful. This is what will prevent average.” Although, as I continued to starve myself and lose weight, surpassing my goal of five pounds, it wasn’t enough. Losing weight

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