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My definition of home is not a word I can say or a thought I can think, but a feeling. This feeling is like a calm that settles over me like a blanket, just a quiet assurance telling me I belong in that place. It took me forever to understand where exactly that place was, and the answer was always right in front of me. This feeling would come and go, and I would never recognize it because I knew that only my address and the house that I parked my car at and went in to eat and sleep for 18 years was my home. I never realized that the place I lived wasn’t my home, and I really didn’t want to either.

When I was a child, I would accompany my family on Sunday outings. We would drive up to the mountains for a picnic or to …show more content…

Mom met me at the door and I greeted her with a huge pile of laundry, since the washing machine and dryer at the house didn’t accept quarters. My great-grandfather, or paw paw, lived beside my house, which now had a handful of cars in his front yard and a white wreath on his door. Mom looked like she was doing ok, but I could tell she wasn’t her normal, preschool teacher self.

I looked around the house as I walked through the door and everything looked so much smaller, kind of eerie looking. The living room looked dark, even though the lights were on. The vibrant dark pink walls were now just a dull shade of maroon, the tan carpet was almost brown. They still had the big screen in the middle of the room, which was a vast difference to the television I was used to watching. It was just so odd seeing all of that empty space in one room. The couches were even rougher to the touch than I had remembered them as, and still the dark blue color and pushed away from the wall a foot. The whole house just had a weird feelings about it, like I had never been there before. I knew instantly that things were different.

I talked with my mother for about an hour or so about my paw paw in the kitchen. I asked her if he died peacefully, and she said that he didn’t feel any pain, just stopped breathing and went away. I asked her who all was there, and she said that she was the only one by his side, his sons were too busy to be

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