As a child, we always dream of how our lives would turn out. As a little girl living in a broken home, I knew those dreams would never come true. I could only hope my determination and will was going to get me out of my crazy life. I was so young, and I didn 't understand why I had to live in such circumstances. The overwhelming burden of having irresponsible parents, the responsibility of my siblings, and my personal battle with depression caused me to grow up too fast. I felt like I was a mom at the age of 12. I was the oldest of 3 children. I was always reminded of this every day. Everything was on my shoulders. I oversaw getting my siblings dressed, bathed, and fed daily Therefore, I was missing the love I so desperately wanted. My …show more content…
Welt after welt tear afte r tear. I pleaded with her many times to leave me alone and quit hitting me all the time, I was just a kid, and wasn 't perfect. I just wanted to be free of this life. It was time to start thinking of me. I was never going to be good enough for my mother. I cried myself to sleep most nights, dreaming of a life away from my surroundings. Going to school and being with my friends, was my get away. To fill the void, I began to stay the night often at my best friend 's house. She had a family full of more love and kindness more than I could ever imagine. I was elated not being at my home that was full of emptiness and animosity. My friend 's parents were always involved with everything we did. They even included me in all the family outings. I felt that I genuinely belonged somewhere.
The only times my friends and I went to my house was to smoke and drink alcohol. My mother was not like other mothers. She did not care what I did. She even provided my friends and me with the cigarettes and alcohol. Because of this, I finally thought my mom was cool. However, my friends only saw the outside surface. They did not see how much I was drowning in my sorrow. I needed a better parent, not another friend. I wanted someone to respect and look up to for guidance.
I tried very hard to hide everything I felt, but the pain did not subside. I tried different drugs to cope with the pain. I didn 't even know where to turn
When I was 11, my parents were battling in an ugly divorce. I wasn't seen as a kid because for a brief moment I became an adult that could make tough life changing decisions. As a child , I was confused on what was happening. I didn’t understand why my mom was gone one day, returned the next and then just gone. I couldn't comprehend why police officers would regularly come to my broken home. The gruesome divorce and after period was an emotional roller coaster that never ended until today. It was difficult to adapt to the new lifestyle with a new single mom. I vividly remember having to sleep on the floor for months , having an empty naked white fridge and having to support my single mother every night as she dealt with depression. Although, life was hard I stayed strong, supported my sisters and accepted the new life I was given.
My mother has helped me to understand myself, and to develop my characteristics because we have spent the majority of our lives together. One specific example would be in 2015, during an excursion to The Gower Peninsula in Wales, when, over a bonfire, we conversed about my father, and the subject of my conception came up. My mother told me that I was a mistake, because she was worried that she wouldn’t be an adequate mother, and tried abortion. This impacted me considerably, and it has made me live more in the moment because anything can happen, I didn’t feel like I was a mistake, or a failure or any of those labels, but I did realize that my time is limited, and I have to make the most of it. Another example is that during the initial split, my mother lived 5 minutes away from my house, and I would regularly make unscheduled visits to her apartment, and just talk to her. I comforted my mother, and we would talk for many hours. During that time, I hid my feelings behind my humor and
As a child you never think that you would outlive your parents but it I could not change the cards I was dealt with. The world I thought I knew came crashing down around me because I lost the one person that meant everything to me. I was a daddy’s girl from the time I was born until now and
I remember wishing and hoping that we would win the lottery one day and I could live the life of my dreams. No work or worries about what the future holds would be how I would live my life. No matter how bad it ever gets, nobody can ever take away your dreams. It is a great way to escape from your problems and at least for a little while you can live the life you’ve always wanted to live. I think that many people live through their dreams, especially those people who come from the inner city. I think that is what helps them get through their lives in such horrid conditions. I also think that the search for good friends was interesting. I can remember when I moved away from my friends and had to start all over in a new town.
I was able to be myself and I felt free. With a few bucks in my pockets, I felt I could buy the clothes I wanted and those skinny jeans I saw at urban outfitters. I came home one day galvanized only to find ambulances outside my aunt's house and my mom on the stretcher bed. My mom has been ill and had an infection that ate her leg. Days I would come home and it smelled like rotting flesh it was her. I spent months with her after her amputation. One of the kids who 've met, she and her mother allowed me to stay at their home, but I was no longer a teen and her daughter who liked me was underage, but they were in need as I was, they had little money and 4 mouths to feed and had just found an advantageous paying job so I figured I help them for helping me. 4 mouths turned into five and I quickly realized I was being played not by the daughter, but by the mother and quickly left them alone and used wisdom, for I cannot help others until I help myself and they were too broken. I saved my money and got an apartment on my own. I take care of my mother who is now disabled and I am taking on the challenges of adulthood. I ride a 2-hour bus to work and back every day. I get up 4 o'clock in the morning and don't make it home until 8pm at night. I feel accomplished an 18-year-old with his own apartment, taking care of his mother, and I might not have a car...yet but it's so close I can taste
My Mom wanted to be there but she had no choice. She at the time left a three year old and I at the time was ten years old so I had to step up and take care him. My Dad would always be at work at times my older Sister would also help but ever since then I just felt like a Mom. Growing up it was just me and my little Brother. I missed out a lot as a kid because I had a big responsibility in my hands. When I got out of Elementary I was barely going to school. My grades were bad, my attendance even worse, and it was all because I didn’t care anymore. Being in school, I was always either late, skipping
We visited her everyday and met the kindest people there. The facility she stayed at housed people struggling with mental illness and alcohol/substance abuse. Some were mentally slower than most; and in the past I would've judged them, but I learned to respect them. This one woman, Erica, would burst out singing at inappropriate times (and she sang beautifully), she'd dance, joke with me, and just unapologetically be herself which I will never forget. Another girl, maybe twenty-eight—who said she saw bugs crawling out of the walls—gave me the sincerest advice about not going down the road she did with drugs and alcohol. Sadly, my sixteen-year-old self thought I was the greatest person, yet I still looked down on people like them and was very quick to judge. Now, every time I feel like criticizing, I remember last summer and all the amazing people who supported my mother with her recovery and our family in general when they definitely didn't have to. I’d have to say the most important improvement in my maturity was that I forgave my mom when I didn't want to. I resented her for years to somehow get back at her, but it only weakened our relationship. It took me a long time to realize that alcoholism was a disease that couldn't be controlled
As a kid I only got to see my dad on the weekends and those were the best days I had, I never understood why I couldn't live with my father full time because my mom never lived a stable life. My mother wasn’t as bad as it seems, she always made sure we had food and somewhere to stay even if it wasn't the greatest, even living with my mom my dad still paid for almost everything I had. When I was about 8 years old I lived in Mccomb and it was my dads weekend and I was so excited to get off of school and go see him, When I got home I was shocked to find everything packed up and my mom told me to get in the car, I was so upset to find out that me, my two brother, and her and her boyfriend were off to Florida. The whole trip to Florida I balled my eyes out and all I remember was that I kept saying that I wanted to live with my dad and that I hated my mom, I wondered how she could just up and leave without telling my
Moving to the US with my dad, I had to learn to take care of myself and be independent. I had to tell myself that my mom is a thousand miles away and i’m on my own now. I used to cry every night because I was feeling homesick and i miss my mom and siblings so much. I miss the moments in the place I grew up in. I miss all the moments that I had with my siblings, playing and just being kids. I miss the moments where my mom would teach me how to cook and how to do other chores at home. I miss the moments where my mom was just steps away ready to comfort me. Because of this huge transition in my life, I became the person who I am today. I learned how to be independent and be stronger. I learned how to be a bigger person. My first week in the US was quite difficult. I wake up every morning only to realize that i’m in a different place. I cook breakfast for myself everyday, and I felt really lonely because I was just by myself in the kitchen. I feel so alone. Everything in the US was very fast paced and you have to move quickly or you’ll get left behind and you wouldn’t have any progress. On my first day at school, i felt so left out. Everybody were talking to their friends and there I was standing in the corner, not sure what to do. I tried to blend in but it was hard for me because i was scared that they might judge me. However, after a couple more weeks, I finally adjusted to my new lifestyle and met
Once my parents separated, my mother, sister, little brother and I left my grandmother’s house to stay with different relatives until my mother got it together. But our first stop was act my older sister’s house. It was different waken up somewhere different, waken up in a new environment, and new retinues. Once we adapted to one living situation it seemed like it was time to move again. Once I stated to get attached to my nieces and nephews it was hard for me to leave them and start over again but I couldn’t change anything. It seemed like my mother had it all together now. I had started a new school, new setting new house. I was excited again happy to have my own space again. Things were going great until it was time to
Unexpectedly, my father called and with an unsteady voice explained, “I had to take your mother to the emergency room, and she is now being admitted to the hospital.” At age 13, this phone call began the most dreadful time of my life. Prior to this event, I was exceedingly dependent on my parents and even struggled with separating from them. In the beginning of my mother’s hospital stay, my familymy parents and two, younger sisters were constantly divided. My father stayed in the hospital with my mother, while my sisters and I would switch between caring family members and friends. Eventually I grew tired of different environments and decided that staying home alone was the far better option. As a result, I appreciate independence and know how to solely maintain a home.
I felt like I had no one. I craved positivity and motivation for me to fulfill a happy and successful; life with no misery and loneliness. Back at home, I had my mother and my stepfather, whom I was also scared to talk to. She had spent most of her time taking care of him, as he was a cancer patient. Although she was busy, I spent more time with her than I ever did before, she was the happiest she had ever been. Their relationship had a huge role in my change. They were both such humble, loving and strong people, it was contagious. Being in that environment gave me strength to overcome my obstacles. I asked myself, if they could go through harsh circumstances, then my problems were small and I wanted to overcome them and become a positive person. I slowly evolved into a stronger and more independent person. I became my own support system. I would go home, do homework, study and try my best to learn the language. All I had to do was make
7th grade was the year I woke up. My mom called me into her bedroom late one afternoon and was still sitting on her bed, wearing her pajamas. The bright and cheerful sunshine that lit up the room gave a false ambiance of the tension that clouded the air. I already knew what she was going to say, but I did not want to believe it as the truth. I had noticed that my mom and dad's relationship with one another was growing apart just by the way they acted around each other. The conversations between them became shorter and their affection for one another began to fade. My dad spent his nights falling asleep watching TV on the couch, while my mom slowly disappeared back into her bedroom, alone. This had been happening for a while now, so I do not know why I was even surprised when my mom said to me that, “Your dad and I are getting a divorce”. I should have seen it coming. The clues were all in front of me, but I was too afraid to put them together. I was scared because, for the first time in my life, the image of my "perfect" family was crumbling before me. I knew inside that my family was falling apart, but I was desperately holding onto the fibers that I thought were keeping us together. It is hard to believe that one encounter can change the course of one's life forever. In this instance, I was awoken from the dream that I had been living in for so long.
I began to help my mom around the house. I had to learn how to cook a proper meal when I was seven years old, do laundry among other things to give my mom some relief. One day, when I was nine years old, my grandmother shared the news of my father’s departure to the U.S and that he did so to give me a better chance. It was heavy news for me, and as an emotional child I cried with my grandma and felt sad that from now on I was not going to get the occasional visit from him. As a teenager in the process of growing into a man, you think you need a father figure, a man perspective, advice on things that life throw at you, it was clear that I didn’t have that anymore. I was fortunate to have my mother and my grandmother to teach me right and wrong; the rest was pretty much up to me.
My parents took custody of my sister’s children, which then began the chaotic day-to-day home life that usually left me in tears by bedtime. I was in middle school at the time, as a middle school aged girl I felt a whirlwind of emotions. I wanted to do things that other kids my age were doing but that wasn’t always possible. With very mentally handicap children in our home it wasn’t easy to just invite a friend over to come spend the night, not only would my mom say no but also I was far too embarrassed. I wanted to go out and eat in a restaurant like I heard my friends talking about, but no, going out to eat with my sister’s children would be very difficult because they couldn’t sit still or refrain from making loud noises in public places. I wanted my mom to take my friend and I to the movies rather than always going with a friend and their mom, but my mom was always tied down to caring for my sister’s